Welcome back to the NFL’s INJURY-RAMA! Spin the wheel and take your chances! Will it be an anchor of the offensive line like Phil Loadholt? Maybe it’s a volume wide receiver like Jordy Nelson! With just a little extra bad luck maybe someone will nail your starting QB! Although I kinda think it was just a matter of time with RG3-he’s got to get the hell out of DC and just hand the job over to one of his cousins. They say that exhibition games are meaningless but where else are you going to practice being drunk for the regular season, Wheel of Fortune? Not if you’ve got any self-respect you aren’t. Here we go…
Cincy at Tampa Bay: I’m sure there’s some obscure corner of the internet that has some insightful nuggets about the Bucs but I couldn’t find it in twenty minutes and the rice was ready for supper. So, Jameis Winston needs to improve. There is no rb evenly remotely close to supplanting Doug Martin who I feel is a serviceable back but I guess when you have a small amount of something you tend to think it’s nothing. Is that how that saying goes? [shrugs shoulders] The one, the only Seth Lobato will spell The Giraffe at some point. Many starting qb’s have been replaced by the next new thing but for Mike Glennon it’s a much longer way down than most.
Looks as though Gingerback will get about 25 snaps or so and then we get to see AJ McCarron. Do you mamember that guy from Alabama that finished 2nd in Heisman voting in 2013 to…Jameis Winston! Oh, the ties that tenuously bind us in the sports world. (that sports writers get such a big kick out of) A big shout out to Jeremy Hill who took forever to pass that short guy as the #1 back for the Bengals and then led me to two fantasy…oh never mind. Expect to hear absolutely nothing about Michael Bennett, a undrafted white kid trying his very darnedest to make the team at wr/te. He’s number 80 in the program and number 1 in Cincy sports writer’s groins.
Something probably happened. Out for a cig
http://40.media.tumblr.com/3e9f231c5f6fecb4538decf70540432c/tumblr_nhv8dhQJTs1t2zjjko1_1280.jpg
Tampa made it an entire season without an infectious disease outbreak, right?
Did you hear they found plague in Yellowstone? I wonder if it’ll make it to Florida.
I volunteer to carpool for this.
prairie dogs carry the plague. A kid died of it a northern Denver suburb last year (Longmont, maybe?). I think that is pneumonic and not bubonic though.
Lil’ Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale. For when you wanna drink beer, but when you also wanna have scenes go missing like you were a drinkin’ liquor…
That stuff’s for pussys son. Step up to Lil’ Sumpin Extra if you want respect in these parts.
/Actually both are very good beers.
Aside from my probably-autistic-so-I’m-trying-to-be-patient-with-him PK student, the rest of the class seems decent. Getting a lot of kids nodding their heads when I’m hitting my salient points.
Given that it’s an evening class and they’d probably all rather be drunk or high somewhere, I’m counting every moment of attention as a victory.
Play has resumed
http://36.media.tumblr.com/521cd71f80839984a305904e4319c5f4/tumblr_nfel60s1pT1rwrv4ro1_1280.jpg
My pics are now more informative than anything else
Scotchnaut! I remember whem that summabitch was Vodkanaut. He told me to do things. I’m still banned from the library.
/vomits Smirnoff into sock
Let us not speak of vodkanaut again.
Scotchnaut:Vodkanaut::Old School Zero:New School Zero
You’re still on the 20 team league. Sill will do autodraft.
Hey, I reiterate my offer/request for a co manager if anyone got cockblocked from joining the DFO league that I think I’m signed up for.
Not Dalton or I Bitch and Moan About It!
I have seen that in banner form in the Bengals stadium audience in the playoffs
One of my favorites. NSFW so broken link
h ttp://41.media.tumblr.com/51777d1d33c602e91f2d02eb9fc74b4a/tumblr_ngn8qdAIoJ1tqfgago1_1280.jpg
Not liking you guys for no comments on this one. I love it. … wait, you are “busy”. Sorry, my bad.
Quite nice
When I was TA’ing for my Master’s, I had a student with a disabilities waiver whom I bent over backwards to accommodate. I later learned the peckerfuck reported me to some higher ups after I cancelled class one day, because he felt it “hurt his chances” for a better grade. He received a B.
The reason I cancelled class? My then-fiancee, now wifey’s sister attempted suicide. Fuck that kid in the dickhole with Zeus’ lightning bolt.
Is it a hate crime if I punch that guy only because of his dick move without knowing his actual disability? Just asking randomly. No real reason
Jebus, I haven’t had any students bad enough to report me for anything.
Though I did have one threaten to have his dad sue me because I gave him an F. Another disability services student, he fucked up the time/date of his accommodated final and showed up to the actual final with only 30 minutes left, got pissed that I wouldn’t give him the final with his full accommodations (that I couldn’t do, because I’m not the fucking disability office) right then and there.
I knew that kid was a jagoff ahead of time, because my officemate TAed for the department chair’s class, and this kid purposefully tanked the mid-term in that class by writing illegibly on it, so he could “translate” his answers for the chair later.
dealing with jackass clients is bad enough. at least the cuntbags pay me (allegedly).
Yeah, my least-favorite student protest is, “I pay your salary; you have to do as I say!”
I feel one notch above a waiter at Chili’s when they pull that shit on me.
But then, the waiter can spit in their food…
What was his disability? Besides being a cunt.
Berman leaves off the commercial break with “A familiar receiver going to New England” in a “oh, who could it be?” tone. FFS!
He’s like Mall Santa Claus.
Anybody wanna play some Jenga?
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/3346736/jenga-o.gif
I was hoping a cat or dog jumped on the table and knocked over the stack.
no no no not in my house
I have a friend that could help
http://weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/fuck-this-thing-cat.gif
On FXX right now, Roger Meyers is debating Marge Simpson about cartoon violence on Smartline. RIP Alex Rocco.
Good call!
A rocket car in every solid gold garage, it’s the American Dream.
holy fuck…BOOMER”S HAIR
Halftime, or close enough.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/db179083c5cb8dc84a82132ac01b04ee/tumblr_nfhlqvtUl11rwrv4ro1_1280.jpg
Great googily-moogily, she’s perfect.
Wait, she isn’t holding a beer for me. 2/10 would not bang.
I was a fan too, saved it for halftime
something for the boob, leg, AND ass man. That just ain’t right.
Yeah, but what about her conversational ski-
(gets hit by giant bottles of Popov)
Do the stray onions in the cornichon jar ever wonder why they’re there?
http://www.murrayscheese.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/p/i/pickles_cornichons_jar.jpg
I worry more about the stray carrots in my jalapanos, can’t care about every stray veggie
Stupid French. Just say minipikkles like us Murricans.
Denver should make teh Hippo happy and send Tampa a 6th rounder for the giraffe in teh offseason.
The neck issues will provide a sense of continuity.
Just got done teaching my evening class. Got a kid in it who is driving me nuts already. I’m calling him “Peter King” in my head.
man, you teacher NERDS are giving us law-talking guy NERDS a run for our scrilla, numbers-wise here…
My first night class is Wednesday. I’m keeping my .38 in the podium drawer for such instances.
hey, for my poker game…is $1/mg still the going pill rate? I don’t wanna come off like a noob ,, smgdh
This kid got a disability accommodation to wear headphones and take 50% more time for quizzes. I gave him double time and he still only filled out 60% of the quiz, and got all huffy when I told him his time was up.
set him on fire?
/I take most of my management advice from Stalin
The rest of the class is already rolling their eyes whenever he talks.
Is Glennon saying “bubba gump” to snap the ball?
1:40 left in the half and 1:40 until I start reading “The Crusades” in bed and afterwards starting shit-maring about the Giants safety spots.
What’s that I hear? A pass too tall?
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–KybgVX8N–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/197iu14y99v3vjpg.jpg
Frontrunner for comment of the year I saw on yahoo(!) today: the Reggie Wayne signing is only so the patriots can ask him about who reported the underinflated balls to the NFL.
Update: The Reds scored 10-runs in an inning. Even the Reds are beating the Bengals tonight!
Goddamnit, why aren’t you playing the Small Bears or the Dirt Stillers ,, smgdh
I will say, while Winston is not perfect, what an opposing force compared to what Johnny Football had to offer the Dawg Pound.
2 min warning
http://40.media.tumblr.com/8352fa0b3757f04c3de6efc1481f0820/tumblr_nfhnieVad31rwrv4ro1_1280.jpg
Ok, I just had 3 open tabs I forgot about and you get one
Don’t need two minutes.
So…that’s totes syphilis acne, yeah?
Some side effects include explosive stool
The Bucs penalty line is 11 for 130, according to Sportcast. That’s amazing considering the score
Just glad to hear Gruden
Wow! Barely the 2-min. Fuck me. This is so slow it hurts.
FG
http://41.media.tumblr.com/f5885a692b58368872cddac476cb8070/tumblr_nj0j9k96b91rgjlybo1_1280.jpg
Yeah, Gave up on theme.
Cincy MVP: Bucs D
Jesus, is that still Dalton? He’s fucking awful.
Damn, Dalton just fucking HATES his receivers.
The frag god has been fed well this evening.
Verily, He is a jealous God.
Alt. Sport Reference! Drink! Whitworth golfing!
FG.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/9bc2295fe199ac480acdd6719abd7686/tumblr_nnv3nft1Ph1rwrv4ro1_500.jpg
Ehh, close enough to blonde.
So I went dark for a while, which crazily coincided with the collapse of KSK. I’m reading through the DFO backlog (backloug, Hippo) as I can. One major question remains, for which I haven’t seen an answer: whither Otto?
My heart breaks to tell you that despite contact attempts, no Otto sightings. Despite efforts. If you have an in, pleasepleaseplease make use of it!
Otto withered.
Somewhere, he waits, searching, hoping, and likely cursing Alex Smith’s small hands and short passes. We put the Otto sign up where we can, and leave the porch light on, but, still, no word.
We need to hatch a proper kidnapping plot. A few more beer and I believe I will have one.
I switched to the Reds. Are you happy Bengals?! I’m watching a meaningless baseball game!!!
Tampa did a good. I think that means a half naked blonde, right? Or should I go for something else for Tampa
http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/still-one-of-the-best-kate-upton-gifs.gif
Great, now Hill got Dalton turnoverstink on him.
I’d say Cincinnati sucks, but that’s not very specific.
Good to know all of the Bucs game totals this year will be divisible by 3. (obviously aside from extra points)
I guess that makes Gronk Uncle Touchy.
On the upside: absolutely no puzzle basement
http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/2015/06/UncleTouchys.jpg
Just switched to the football game. Glad I’m watching baseball
But MOST GLORIOUS BASEBALL CARDINALS no start until 10?
Watching the Yankees but that Mets/Phillues game has been bonkers
I find myself in a perennial conundrum: it always takes 3-5 weeks to get a good sense of who and what is going on in the teams,, which unfortunately means that by the time I have sussed out the league my eyes have gone crossed thanks to the dizzying blur of pink garbage everywhere. Fuck Pinktober.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knXuiqdvZ4E
GIRAFFEDOWN
SUPER GIRAFFE!
I’m telling you guys, all of NC State-dom (well, at least 80/20) thought Mike Glennon was a better pro prospect than teh Russell. And we fucking loved Russell more than we loved any athlete since David Thompson (even his year at Wiscy, the Rose Bowl thread was the highest traffic my State blog had all year, we were so proud).
WE LOVED THE GIRAFFE AND THE DREADED GIRAFFE SPRINT.
BUCSDOWN
Dalolton isn’t very good.
CHUH CHUH
Andy Dalton: Not good at the footballing.