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Who should play the Super Bowl half time show?

Changlorious Basterd

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While trying to avoid doing work I was struck by this question as I noticed a large push for Metallica to be the halftime performers. Now Metallica were my first musical love and I have seen them 5 times, but should they headline?

Last year we had dancing sharks.

Who can top dancing fucking sharks?

 

Personally, for the best all-round show, I would go for Muse.

Best Live show I have ever seen. I know they have no chance but a man can dream…

 

I would also be happy for the Boss for a 2nd time because he’s is just the fucking best.

 

But if it were ‘Tallica, I would still be happy

 

Your thoughts on a post card…

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Guys, seriously. Rage Against the Machine.

They’d never do it, but can you imagine the shit that would go down, both during and afterwards?

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Shogun Marcus

Meteor. Guest starring genital pestilence for whatever teen act ends up doing it.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Clutch featuring Primus would be amazing though.

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Kungjitsu

I love Metallica, but

A) Titties trump everything, so bring back Katy Perry or let Kate Upton sing.

B) They’d either play a medley or post Justice bullshit. I don’t need to hear Enter Sandman ever again.

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Old School Zero

“And now, Metallica plays St. Anger in album order!”

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

/Mutes the TV faster than when The Black Eyed Peas “performed.”

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’d of read through all the comments before saying this, but I figured TBEP can’t be insulted enough.

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Wakezilla

I’ve always wanted to see Metallica play at the Superbowl because I know they’d put on a great show, like they always do. So, that’d be my pick.

However, the NFL is on a top 40 run, so, I could see a Drake/Kanye/Selena Gomez type performance. Maybe seeing how the movie is such a hit, maybe we could get a surprise visit from Dre/Cube/Snoop, or even better yet, the surviving members of the NWA?

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Doktor Zymm

Whoever it is should include a didgeridoo player.

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Lothar of the Hill People

“Creeping Death” on a didgeridoo would be fucking awesome.

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Changlorious Basterd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2n0cd2kUVQ

Or something like this…

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Lothar of the Hill People

This is my new favorite YouTube video.

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Omnimorph

Bill Bailey’s stand up is really good, you should check it out. Has some quite good songs in it too 🙂

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Winnebago Warrior

As long as they open up with their cover of “So What?” Metallica can play any half time show they want.

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Old School Zero

Special verse by Mark Chmura!

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Winnebago Warrior

Ahem.

She wasn’t here
I wasn’t there
I wasn’t fuggin anywhere
So what! So what!

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nomonkeyfun

Patti Smith, with no tape delay.

The pearl clutching on Monday would make the Janet Jackson kerfuffle seem like molehill.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Outkast

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Horatio Cornblower

Best introduction to a show I’ve ever heard

“We’re Motorhead. We play rock n’ roll”. And then they did.

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Cuntler

“Hello, I’m Johnny Cash.”

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Horatio Cornblower

Fair point but I don’t think Johnny’s gonna be playing the Super Bowl this year.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, with special guests Marvin Suggs and His Muppaphone.

Not one of you can touch that. Consider the beauty of a hard-rock set performed entirely by Muppets.

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Kungjitsu

Greatest Rock Drummers Evar:

1) Animal
2) John Bonham
3) Nobody really gives a shit other than drummers. (Try not to pass out and just keep the beat)

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Old School Zero

You’re about to be RUSHed!

I’m a fan of Danny Carey, though. And Josh Freese.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

/Weeps quietly into snare drum

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I would also include Animal’s inspiration, Keith Moon.

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Don T

⬆️

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JerBear50

Let’s not go forgetting about Levon either.

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Beerguyrob

Because they want the olds to watch, it’ll be a melody of
– Jefferson Airplane (Starship is ‘too modern’)
– Whatever’s left of the Grateful Dead
– Huey Lewis AND the News

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Old School Zero

AND the News? Oh, boy, count me in!

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Sill Bimmons

They should get the Cleveland Orchestra to play Side One of the Clockwork Orange soundtrack.

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Old School Zero

The only answer is Weird Al Yankovich and I will entertain no other suggestions.

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Enrico Pallazzo

Foo Fighters…everyone loves Dave Grohl and they should be rewarded for how ELITE Sonic Highways is.

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Sep

TOO $HORT! TOO $HORT!

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Cuntler

Indeed, cause we likes to party.

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JerBear50

Yes, because Blowjob Betty will make for lots of happy sponsors.

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blaxabbath

Gun n Roses reunion.

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SonOfSpam

Bring back Danny Elfman, and Oingo Boingo can play Dead Man’s Party.

Since like a third of the players will off themselves in the next decade.

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Cuntler

+ 1 of these:

http://i.imgur.com/lbJpOId.gif

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Duchess

Bring Back Up With People!

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packman_jon

GWAR

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Fronkenshteen

First of all, I’m an idiot. I know I’m an idiot. So take the rest of this with a grain of salt.
NFL players seem to enjoy celebrating, and for the most part, fans like watching them do it. Different cities have distinct music sounds, so I think each NFL team should have a house band (or DJ) that reflects the music of that city, and wire them right the fuck into the stadium PA. That way, when Jeremy Hill punches one in, he can run over to the band and do the whip dance while they’re cranking out some ass-blasting Ohio Players type shit, you know?
Then, we let the Supe opponents’ bands be the halftime show every year. Fuck the mega-acts. They don’t need the gig. Just a thought. Again, I’m dumb.

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Don T

I like this. Marc Anthony would be involved.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was thinking the same thing; it would be fun if local music was represented. But tell the masses that the halftime show was “curated” by Trent Reznor and Apple or some shit so people don’t tune out.

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Duchess

Arcade Fire…. one of the best live performances I have ever seen.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great, more foreigners taking American jobs.

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Lothar of the Hill People

Here’s an actual thought: with the exception of Madonna, every halftime show in recent memory has been someone who has been actually good live. The Who were awful, but other than Madonna, they’ve all be good–I mean, I was actually impressed by Bruno Mars, and Katy Perry was actually halfway fun to watch. Maybe that was her funbags, but whatever.

So it’s gotta be someone good live. Metallica qualifies–very much so. They’re an extraordinarily tight live band. Van Halen… well, DLR is not a live “singer” so much as he is a “showman.” That alone probably disqualifies Van Halen. Foo Fighters are very, very, very good live. But to the NFL, Metallica and the Foo Fighters are pretty much interchangeable–rock/metal bands appealing mostly to middle-age and younger hetero men.

Metallica has the Bay-area geographic connection.

Yeah, Metallica makes absolute, total sense.

So it’ll be Usher or someone similarly nonsensical. Maybe Ariana Grande.

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Cuntler

Yeah, you blocked out the “Black Eyed Peas” too. Nice work.

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Kungjitsu

I enjoyed Ariana Grande dressed up as a cheerleader at the NBA All-Star game, in an “Oh God! Please don’t tell anyone and pleeeeeeaaassse don’t be pregnant” kind of way.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To be fair, the slackline guy in Madonna’s performance was AWESOME.

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Warthog

Up With People people!

https://youtu.be/Z4mTTigqTSA

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Lothar of the Hill People

Metallica would be good. So would Van Halen.

But the NFL seems to want the halftime show to appeal outside the “typical” demo of 24-49 year old white guys.

With that in mind, they should probably get Taylor Swift. With guest star Danny Trejo.

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whorootbeerdatbe

Prince was the best halftime show ever. There is no room for debate on this.

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Cuntler

I think you meant NO ONE DENIES THIS!

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whorootbeerdatbe

I thought that went without saying.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, what goes without saying is to please stay out of the fuck room.

http://images.nymag.com/images/2/daily/2010/05/20100507_partydown_560x375.jpg

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blaxabbath

PPl forget about Prince, IMO.

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Don T

Agreed

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Porky Prime

It’ll be Taylor Swift with guest stars Drake and Dave Mathews.

But here’s my vote for Devo and DMX.

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Sep

/Nods in approval

Yep. Glad I scrolled down before commenting.

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blordinaryfagicmox

The halftime performance should just be the same as every other year: me leaving the room to make more nachos. Or Ashley Simpson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5YPiBx9MJs#t=18s

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Lothar of the Hill People

YOU made Ashley Simpson during a Super Bowl halftime?

Cool! Or scary.

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Cuntler

Hooray for Everything.

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Cuntler

I actually have a confession to make. I have DVR’d the Super Bowl 4 of the last 5 years because it is a great, uncrowded day to ski. And the Bears lol.

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ballsofsteelandfury

It’ll never happen, but it would be great if Nine Inch Nails played. All they would have to do is play Hurt, Closer, and Head Like A Hole and that would capture the NFL playing experience better than Ballers or Hard Knocks.

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...

I’ll only accept this if it involves Goddell wearing a literal crown of shit.

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Don T

Metallica would be measty and age-appropriate, given past performes minus Katy Perry.
The Hives would be orgasmic. And their catalogue is NFL-friendly:
-Die Alright! (too obvious)
-A Little More for Little You (labor struggles)
-B for Brutus (?Feel good ratatatatatat like little man should Ginger Hammer?)
-Square One Here I Come (in case of cap casualty for 2016 or Broncos)
-1000 Answers (Pats *puke*)
-Fall Is Just Something Grownups Invented (Pete Carroll)
-Bigger Hole to Fill (Bills)
-Outsmarted (Marvin Lewis or Andy Rei hehe he. Ha)
-Take Back the Toys (Eagles)
-Main Offender (Dallas)
-AKA I.D.I.O.T (encore for the media)

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WhyEaglesWhy

I love Metallica. They would elicit complaints that another old white band was chosen, but I’m an old white dude who likes old white bands, so I have no fucks to give on the matter.

To me, Foo Fighters are the obvious choice…they are massively popular, great live, and only sort-of-old instead of very-old.

Muse is a favorite of mine, and fantastic live, but I think millions of Bud Light-drinking fifty-year-olds would have no idea who the fuck they are.

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ssi_bulldawg

But aren’t those millions of Bud Light-drinking fifty-year-olds #upforwhatever?

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