CALLOOH! CALLAY! IT’S GAME DAY!  Twas brillig this week wasn’t it? Tell me about it. Anyway,  tonight we should see actual starters for a dad gum whole half, maybe. Come the 4th quarter of the third game we usually get “pity play”. Those guys that have little to no chance at making the squad get thrown out there for a series or two as thanks for being human tackling dummies for their far more physically gifted superiors. Don’t forget to bring your playbook the next (first?) time the coach wants to see you.

N.E. at Carolina: Despite what I just said above, Bellichick most likely won’t be playing Gronk or Edelman. There are extenuating circumstances however-Gronk hasn’t finished his drink yet and Edelman is practising sitting out for his inevitable “concussion-like symptoms” that will manifest themselves at some point in the season. Brandon Gibson gave the gift of a torn ACL so that Aaron Dobson could wear a Pats jersey for a wee bit longer. Hey! I’ve got an idea! Let’s watch Reggie Wayne run around and try not to throw up all over himself at the thought of where his life choices have led him! Word is that the stinking Pats have put together a talented and deep defensive line that will wreak havoc this year. That’s just what I wanted to hear…

There’s a big rb battle going on between the likes of Brandon Wegher, Fozzy Whittaker, Cameron Artis-Payne and Jordan Todman. Wegher has scored a td in the pre season and apparently has a nose for the end zone. He’s in the lead right now. It’s Joe Webb time again! With Benjamin gone it becomes absolutely essential that Greg Olsen stay healthy. I’m thinking that Newton and his te do a season-long Chang and Eng impression. Derek Anderson is only 32? I had him at 38 or so. I guess being an almost-was ages people in my mind.

Detroit at Jax: If anyone should get a Chunky Soup spot it should be Stafford, right? Ameer Abdullah, a rook out of Nebraska is impressing everyone to the point that he has inserted himself into a RBBC with Joique Bell. Good for him. Joique is under-rated in my mind. He makes the most of his opportunities when Chunk’s arm needs a rest. Who will fill the enormous void that Dirty Sue left on the Lions line? My guess? No one. I’m also guessing that Mr. Budget, Ryan Broyles gets cut this fall. He’s slower than recovery from major brain surgery. Also, Dan Orlovsky!

I’m curious to see if Bortles comes to realize what a great safety valve new addition Julius Thomas could be. The Jax receiving corps is young and under-valued. Hurns, Robinson, Lee and Blackmon can all do damage so now it’s just a matter of consistency. T.Y. Yeldon gets his first start tonight ’cause Gerhart has a stomach thingy. Them rookie rb’s is all kinds of sexy these days. The O seems to be in a good spot (looks at O-line roster) ahhhhhhhh. There you go.

Tennessee at K.C.: The guy I figger is gonna take Bishop Sankey’s job, David Cobb, is out tonight. Oh well. Sankey runs like a wounded hooker-trust me, I know. So get ready for tons of Antonio Andrews, folks. He was a member of the Brat Pack, wasn’t he? Where, oh where is LenDale White when you need him? Mariota looked okay last week in limited time simply by not being panicky when things didn’t go exactly as planned. That seems to be half the battle as a rook qb. I’m betting McCluster doesn’t make the 53 man roster. Tennessee is high on Dorial Green-Beckham who hasn’t played in two years. He’s been holding his own while playing with the 1’s.

Alex Smith’s fave tune? “Tiny Bubbles”. Go figure. The Chiefs are doing their best to lift the Titans. There are 8 ex-Chiefs on the Titans squad. I’m guessing we’ll see plenty of Chase “King O’ The Pre-Season” Daniels tonight. Charcandrick! Tight end Kelce is supposed to bust open this year as he did well towards the end of the year. I recognize the names Poe, Hali and Berry on the defensive roster and not much else. That doesn’t mean very much yet I thought it was important to mention.

Let’s drink.