Flannel pyjamas on? Check. Beer cracked open? Check. Scotch poured? Check. Snacks at the ready? Check. Willful forgetting of workday? Check. Fantasy lineups checked? Check. Dog’s ears scratched? Check. Inquiry made into status of older son’s day? Check. Inquiry made into status of younger son’s day? Check. Shoo-ing away of wife? Check. Inchoate plan to miss work tomorrow slowly forming? Check. Well, it seems like everything is in order here. To the game…
Buf @ NYJ: Cliche-wise there’s a saying about puppy love being important to only the puppies involved and I think this applies here. If the Jets take this their wild-card positioning gets that much more comfy. Bills-wise, a win would be Andre The Giant-huge in that it would leap-frog them over the Jetskis for that same status. Rushing-wise the Bills need to get to 125 yards-when they reach this mark they win. Against the Jets D-Line this will be a significant accomplishment so I think the key is QB Taylor. If he can grab a few first downs with his footsies the Bills chances of winning increase greatly. D-wise which team comes out on top?-the one that wins the turnover differential. Eight of their nine combined wins correlated with getting more TO’s. Injury-wise New York’s secondary is screwed-DB’s Pryor, Skrine and Cromartie are all busted up. Bills-wise, McCoy is a “suit up and pray for the best” situation.
Hey! I found something waaaay more exciting than this game! Did you know green and red make yellow? They are complimentarycolors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9BhHqC_5yI
The fuck? Bitch told me it would be yellow. Its gray. No, wait, its brownish gray. Ok here it comes. Its green-gray. That’s ok. We’ll just add some more. Cause this has a lot of yellow, but a brown..tinge. But don’t add white. Grayed-down yellow. See the difference?
/starts taps dancing
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UaLWp72nij4/TAljf2R-mwI/AAAAAAAAN3Q/4ETQrTsfEbQ/s1600/melissa-satta-feet-2.jpg
I’m taking this thread to triple digits!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcnu5qvH1i1rjedgto1_1280.jpg
I just bought a bottle of Crown Royal Maple. Because it was on sale and this game BLOWS.
Are there pancakes involved?
There will be…
I haven’t had a pancake shot in ages.
Excuse me. Point of outrage. Is there a reason there is no Santa or Jesus on these uniforms?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a39117b086d33d086609ed0e7896dd1b/tumblr_nxcxb1jZKq1rbyuk6o1_1280.jpg
Sadly, we will not need a bigger bow. How unfortunate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO8blq8i3L4
http://38.media.tumblr.com/a8a5d2ebf459e96743caabc6d9f2c5d1/tumblr_nmrbskgHt21qf5do9o1_500.gif
See. There is such thing as a Tromboner. Thank you Mr. Moose.
I’ve never loved the Trumpet do much.
/plate glass window flies open
//brushes off glass
Good evening gentlemen.
And as a final insult, you’ll be forced to wear your red pajamas to the unemployment line, Carpenter.
Jets gonna jet
They chose me.
http://i.imgur.com/N8IXHrK.png
Jets are offering a female version of tonight’s uniform
1991 Monica Bellucci. Helmut Newton photo.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/8b852d332a2235d5f27876f9aa6b62de/tumblr_nxlv7rL8b31tb5l95o1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKiaPPNabLo
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljx1u8OJgy1qf5do9o1_400.gif
“So how do we jazz up boring ass Thursday night games?”
“Better matchups?”
“YOU’RE FIRED!”
“How about eye searing uniforms that make the game seem likes it’s being played by mutated, murderous elves?”
“Great job! Here’s a barrel of cocaine and three Thai hookers. Give yourself a raise!”
So, on Rex’s Bose (official NFL headphones) headphones is a continuous loop of the squishing sound of women’s feet being lavishly oiled?
Just curious.
“I’ll take things conservative Repuclicans say for $2000, Alex.”
*Young boys’ feet.
There’s some moaning, too.
Madames et Monsieurs . . .
Is it raining there now? That should really make these offenses purr.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duPXGYoRUPE
http://36.media.tumblr.com/2b1d95f9704442ce803b73c9e486199c/tumblr_nwfbz5wkzC1r4frruo1_500.jpg
Giving up on this one.
Sorry, scotch.
Not a big deal.
I’m stuck with my phone tand whiskey tonight. Willl someone tell me which is the main thread. I can’t get through a Jets-Bills game without liquor and help.
How the hell are you fine people. By gawd these unis are like Starbucks cups mixed with Green Jello
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly2eukqjix1qf5do9o1_500.gif
This seems like a good time to break out my good Scotch.
http://www.lovescotch.com/product_images/product11546.jpg
Approve.
Whooo!
Is this game really worth good Whiskey? I’m punishing myself by drinking Canadian Mist.
This will be the first time since MNF that I’m at home and conscious for more than half an hour at a stretch and I’m spending it watching X-mas on Turf. I’m damn well upping my enjoyment with the good stuff.
Is that one of those bad movies or arre you talking about the unis?
The unis. Though I assume that’s what the movie adaptation of this game will be called.
It could be worse. At least it isn’t a Cornell-Dartmouth game.
I told my degenerate gambling buddy to take the under. Pretty sure he’s not going to try and stab my wife this week.
A DFO DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CANNOT STAND
Pfft, I can stand fine, I’m not that drunk yet.
worlds colliding?
IT MAY STAGGER SLIGHTLY THOUGH.
Oh. I see what y’all mean about the colors now. Does the winning team of elves get to make all the teddy bears for Santa this year?
I choose the other thread.
The poofball hat makes Bowles even more terrifying.
To top it all off, this thing is going to take for fucking ever at this rate.
tally stimulating tasks.
I DO NOT LIKE MULTITASKING LIKE THIS
BRANDON MARSHALL AWARENESS YO
YOU DOIN?
YS
So I assume we have two threads running in honor of Brandon Marshall?
I can’t stand the thought of being in the wrong thread, so I must monitor both.
All I want for Christmas is my scorched retinas replaced.
You want me to read TWO liveblogs?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrh5zoEtT51qmkxx9o1_500.jpg
I blame scothnaut for posting the second one, but yes we are all alternating between them at the moment
Two threads, two snookies
http://imgfave-herokuapp-com.global.ssl.fastly.net/image_cache/1343520339312190_animate.gif
LAUNCH IT INTO SATURN
If only Aaron Rodgers was so generous about sharing his lucky beard.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcq6okd37I1rxig9eo2_500.gif
Dunno why this is so mesmerising…but it surely is.
I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to gather the mental resources to find a stream for this game, when I’ve already tried and failed to gather the mental resources to order a cheeseburger. I think I can manage enough effort to pour myself a drink. Maybe that will help. I should just walk to my corner bar where they have food, booze, and NFL Network, but I’m not repantsing.
Remember, liquid is a KIND of food.
When you get old, you may find that solids top agreeing with you anyways.
Crisitunity is turning one’s old people problems into solid alcoholism justifications!
I’m a fan of combining the two, ala rum cake that is just me putting a normal piece of cake in a glass of rum.
The radio is your friend my good fair lady. They may be as bad as the TV announcers, but you have a different pairing each week.
That’s not a bad idea. I don’t think I’ve actually listened to the radio outside of a car….in the last some large number of years.
I can’t reccomend radio enough. Whether it is fully terrestrial or online.
Music wise I would rec WFMU.I know OSZ spoke to them online for their probably only sports show back in the dark time. Great free form radio and all of their programs are available on the intertubes.
I discovered this to be a problem when I wanted to listen to the post-game after State won at U*NC in hoops last year. I no longer have a radio receiver in the house. Had to sit in my garage.
The radio broadcast usually is a fuckton better.
Is it any surprise that Ed Reed would speak in endorsement of a player whose name he thought was “Tie Rod”?
Someday, you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren that you were there for The Great Uniform Apocalypse Of 2015.
Your retinas did not die in vain!
The 1980’S already killed my retinas. As far I’m concerned that Santayana version of the 1950′ s should burn in hell.
So, I will be bringing this up in the DFO Google groups tomorrow, but I’m thinking about posting the homoerotic adventures of Tony D—-, in the vein of Fanny Hill.
Thoughts?
We should have a “repressed homosexuality” rating, from 0 to 10, and call it the Dungy/Tebow scale.
Consider me interested.
I’ll have any early draft of the first couple of chapters early next for the Elite commentists consideration.
hey guys
HAI SILL
Bon Jour, Senor
Oh, I gots me TWO DFO windows open! BUHLEE DAT!!!
I”m a serial monogamist, at least when I can get a lady friend to show me her lady parts. Only one DFO window at a time, but I will look hard at other pages.
My five day-old chili is ageing gracefully.
How soon until Scotch gets food poisoning from his chili?
I give three more days.
That fine line between “wow the spices have really set in nicely” and “oh noes, I shittin’ blood”
As long as you heat it to boiling for 10 minutes before you eat it your chili can theoretically last forever.
It’s not gonna happen-I’ve got the Marcus Allen of chilis.
Holy shit, that’s my dinner aussi!
But mine is buffalo chili…be all jelly
I just saw the Jets jerseys and now I’m in the mood for lime.
The GT/VPI game will make you think about dissolving corpses, too.
Uh oh. TWO COMPETING THREADS
[considers the possibility that his thunder may have been stolen]
IT’S SORCERY !
http://40.media.tumblr.com/3e5022f5c866d0d518776a9e24cafc60/tumblr_nxq9fgWkBJ1syvjuco1_500.jpg