With European footy on another goddamned international break, it’s up to the JV ranks to carry us through this mid-November Saturday. And we are kind of in-between the mega-showdown weeks. Last week had some yuuuuuuuge matchups, and the next two (including the extended Thanksgiving smorgasboard) will be pretty incredible. More of a setup vibe this week, though there is some intrigue later in the evening.
NC State at Florida State (12:30, ACC Network)
Really not happy with this TV coverage, especially with WESTERN FUCKING CAROLINA at TAMU getting national coverage at 7 (ESPNU). Even if WCU is likely where my oldest is going to college. Anyway, I actually like the odds of my wolven sort here, as Florida State is essentially playing without a QB, and the secondary is NC State’s weak point. The Noles also have nothing to play for, and the Wolfpack have been much better on the road (and historically have been something of a bogey side for FSU). Vegas’ line reflects this, with FSU opening as only a 9.5 point favourite.
Alabama at Mississippi State (3:30, CBS)
Don’t put Saban in the playoffs just yet. The Cowbells will not be an easy out, especially in Starkville (where LSU narowly escaped on a last-second FG miss in September). A loss puts the Mad Hatter back in the driver’s seat in the SEC West, and joy in the hearts of the unaffiliated masses nationwide.
Memphis at Houston (7:00, ESPN2)
This game was totes more interesting before Memphis got ass blasted by Navy. George Carlin: “As they say in the U.S. Navy, ‘There is no wrong hole!'”
Arkansas at LSU (7:15, ESPN)
That said, the Bayou Bengals are walking into a trap of their own. Yes, it’s Death Valley at night, but Johnny Reb learned the hard way about how much Pig Sooey has improved over the course of the season (as they seemingly always do). But this season, the program has developed enough that Arkansas is a legitimate threat to the powers-that-be, even on the road. I am quite sad this fixture is no longer on the traditional Friday after Thanksgiving, when it was often entertaining as fuck even when it looked like a mismatch on paper. Boo, schedule makers.
Oregon at Stanford (7:30, Fox)
Contrasting styles, potential shootout, Gus Johnson and Molly McGrath (gun show as pictured above). What more do you fuckers want? Oh yeah, Stanford can clinch a berth in the Pac 12 title game, and a chance to force a “winner takes playoff berth” matchup there against Utah, assuming they can derail the assholes of Notre Dame.
BYU vs. Missouri (7:30, SEC Network)
Highlighted for all sorts of uncomfortable racialism.
Oklahoma at Baylor (8:00, ABC)
See, one’s remote will get quite the late workout. Tricky matchup for BayBay, after a less than impressive showing with the new QB against the Fightin’ Undead Bill Snyders. Bloodeyes’ loss to Okie State has me skeptical we will see an unbeaten Big 12 team, which is too bad, as this entertaining, unorthodox league should have a playoff entrant. And not the fucking Big 10.
Washington State at UCLA (10:45, ESPN)
Hey, this is kinda late even for the Westies! For everyone else, your DVR/tweaker game o’ the week. Again, set it for 2 hours past the scheduled end time, in case of shenanigans.
Purportedly she posed for playboy,
http://www.i80s.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/80s_music_artist_tiffany.jpg
but aparently it was 20 years and 20 elective surgeries too late.
Baylor fans gettin’ pissed…
http://30.media.tumblr.com/64af9864a9c744f96a06586f3273fb9c/tumblr_mumd20ny7k1sotcslo3_250.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/0ad7595b1635dcc0f0fb65633b0c5bf8/tumblr_nxrk6523YM1qz6f9yo5_500.jpg
Sodom and Zamorra!
http://33.media.tumblr.com/0f298d7ea448388bc4b1e862db029e77/tumblr_nvxkidv6CM1qc3ju8o9_540.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt1t1ybMQT1qfr6udo1_400.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/d81797a1fd8c21d227905153e838e0d9/tumblr_nwfyxlFLaV1shd9xeo1_1280.jpg
“You gotta be fucking kidding me!!!!”
Best horror movie line evah.
I like that, OU. I really do.
Mizzou looks set to win the Racialism Bowl, FWIW. Like the only other game on that’s not just starting.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/0730533a263175a6d3503cef2d07b3af/tumblr_nxmhj45IC01qg2n7mo1_1280.jpg
What’s the problem? I talk to the elf king after a night of drinking, too.
Shouldn’t his rusty metal cup be smaller than the other rusty metal cup?
Not if he’s doing it right. Elf king can drink.
So basically you’re saying…he don’t give a fuck.
Honey Badger reference, ftw.
OK, I might need to stop drinking.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/00e92d858a144290d5372982ed3b68c1/tumblr_mzcmr9q8Gz1sofdkpo1_400.gif
Oddly hypnotic.
Inorite??
http://33.media.tumblr.com/2260264e0a17b46161eba8f9bfddce6a/tumblr_ns9ycs1aSP1spk3foo1_500.gif
RECEIVING Fat GuyDOWN!
Size 18-21 shoe? Imagine how big his…. hands are!
You know what they say about guys with big feet? They wear big socks.
Gus Johnson is easily my favorite play-by-play announcer.
gsu johnson is a GLORYBOY anouncer who doesnt get it act u’ve been their befour imho joe buck is lunchpial ancouncer who wants it more imho #godbelss
Wait, did Hogan just get killed on that play?
Stanford really needs to give Allstate a call….they need some hands fo’ sho’
I love Gus Johnson. Genuine excitement, and he manages not to overshadow the moment with excess words.
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
http://por-img.cimcontent.net/cms/data/assets/bin-201408/750dbf5f088091134b42bb771378a474_600x400.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Q3mHyzn78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IivGqwQvdCI
Sorry, after the Spears thing I just had to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGw_cOgwa8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kw_d3d0XAo
http://40.media.tumblr.com/4540efb90f8913f6aa43db3f24aa7131/tumblr_nvpv4q9K7i1r93b1wo1_1280.jpg
You lucky fucks. Lucky, lucky fucks.
NO SHIT. OPI all the way.
Plus, by the nature of how it played out…wasn;t it de facto uncatchable??
I sure thought so. Blind dislike might have biased me
I have engaged the bourbon. This will either be the greatest or absolutely dumbest decision I’ll make this week.
I would even move to Kentucky if I could engage bourbon
Remember when Britney Spears was a human female?
No; she was always a bot invented by Disney Corp. …. a bot that went against it’s programming.
One could always tell that bot was not gonna age well.
Cleopatra Spears will always get it:
Oregon, psst: cover the one whose helmet looks like a Lisa Frank folder
I could’ve sworn one of those schools used to give out jolly roger stickers when a player did something bad, but I can find no evidence to support my conjecture.
Aww. I want that to be true. But since we’re making it up, I now want it be actual Lisa Frank stickers.
Pass Interference = Purple Fucking Unicorn
Targeting = Neon Panda
Wikipedia claims SMU uses the pony logo as stickers on their white helmets, but again I can’t find proof of it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmet_sticker#Current_usage
DEEEEERRRRRRPPPPPPP
Prediction – Stanford gets the TD, bobbles the snap on the two, Hogan goes to a knee picking it up.
Fin.
They actually threw a flag on that.
Well, bonus…maybe some sad Oregon cheerleaders will need cheering up.
Preeeettttttty sure could pushed some more yard if I made that punt. Even Hippo could… pantless and all.
Fun story, the first time I ever fucked up my back (pulled lower back muscle) was hyperextending on a punt. I then had to drive home. Stick shift.
THERE IS AN EXORCISM IN MY BOWELS STOP PLEASE SEND IMMODIUM AND OPIATES STOP PRAY FOR WCS’S COLON STOP
The power of metamucil compels you.
I am holding some Lomotil against my screen. Are you receiving them, WCS? Come in, WCS.
http://i.imgur.com/pgXa6pG.png
This is better than any birthday present I’ve gotten in a decade.
I don’t like Reggie Watts, I just don’t get it. Almost as much as I don’t get why the hashmarks in college are wider than they are in the nfl.
Time to see the hilarity that is the David Shaw two minute offense (compressed into 70 seconds).
Long pass five yards out of bounds…check.
First day with Stanford QB’s new hands, apparently.
Oo. ‘Ford’s fumble feels so good!
Again, crucial that Stanford bleed clock so they are totally fucked if they don;t get the 2-pointer. Strategery!
/or if they fumble again
It’s that goddamned block S man, I’m telling ya. That shit is fitbaw kryptonite.
I gotta say, Stanford’s field looks like it is made of the cushiest mossy clouds. If ever a turf monster existed, clearly Palo Alto is it’s native land!
Woo MF’n Pig!
Two years in a row Arkansas has knocked off ranked Ole Miss and LSU in back to back weeks. Be nice if we could do that to Bama now and then.
Buck Fama
At first I was amused at the effort spent on explaining how LA and AR combined to look like a boot… then I about had a stroke when I heard “24 carat gold” and “weighs ~175 lbs.” Gaaaahhhh. You could use that on scholarships, you know?
To be fair, those scholarships would be in the departments of Shallow Gene Pool and Oyster Shucking.
Never trust a team wearing red, and which has a block S on their helmet.
I’m telling ya….just don’t.
Chippy TD for BayBay. Wonder where all this sudden animosity came from?
OU player got ejected in the first half for kicking somebody’s head. I don’t think it was the first tussle of the game either.
ah, missed that part. merci!
Or the general solution: rednecks from oklahoma dont like rednecks from texas.
One guy fucked the other’s sister, the other fucked his horse, etc…
Ahhh….so that’s what the stepladder was for then.
Carry on, sir.
So, anybody watching the Democrat’s Deba…..ahhhhh I can’t even type it with a straight face.
I assume it’s 2 hours of Hilly-Bob trying hard not to laugh. Trying to think of dead kittens and the like.
Debate? But election day was like two weeks ago!
We all voted Kodos, right?
Too bad it wasn’t enough.
Grimace sighting in the LSU crowd!
Nipples on ABC? Or was that a dude?
As much as I hate LSU, I do kind’ve love their field, both for its numbers and midfield art, their only having one jersey, and their blatant disregard of 4th down etiquette involving gritty white runningbacks.
yeah, their field and atmosphere is kinda great
The creepy “knowing eye” tickles my fancy. Now knowing that half the dudes their have bigger moobs than I do also gives me hope to attend a game coming exclusively in body paint!
How can you hate the school that gave us both Bert Jones AND the Honey Badger????
And Jawhaleacus Russel, and Nick Saban the false confidence that he could coach in the nfl!
Stanford’s play calling is remarkably stupid.
Remember when David Shaw was a can’t-miss, slam dunk NFL head coaching prospect?
Am I the only one surprised by how well Arkansas is doing?
Sleeping Giant.
I thought a win was plausible, but I didn’t foresee a bludgeoning at all.
All the frags for LSU! Yeesh.
I’m an Arkansas fan, and I’m pretty surprised myself.
What about FUTURE members of the military?? Where are THEIR thanks, ESPN? FUCKING TRAITORS!!!!
Wait…whut?
Stanford not filling one with confidence they can stop the ND to the playoffs inevitability march.
I dunno; I think maybe Stanford has a chance against North Dakota.
Say what you will about your (and >99% of other people watching NCAAF) disdain for ND (not North Dakota) I am pretty sure every time Stanford loses an angel get its wings!
I’ve just re-arroved to the world of solo drinkage/fitbaw.
Did I miss any Les Miles grazing, or has he only been normal level cray cray so far?
he just been gettin his ass kicked (minus a handful of fluke lucky plays)
I hate when the real world gets in the way of drunken sports viewing.
Plus, when I got home I had to go on a mission of goodwill down under. I expect mushroom clouds imminently, nonetheless. When will I learn?
Food in the Arby’s commercial looks damn appetizing. Kill me now.
I miss the 5 regular roast beefs for $5.
Damn you, inflation.
The day I found out that the 5 for 5 dollar beef and cheddars were smaller than the regular menu beef and cheddars was the day I accepted defeat in the game of life.
Pig Sooey reasserting its dominance. If they were a cat, they would be pissing all over Baton Rouge right now.
That long pass attempt on second down was dumb.
just a cat toying with its kill
Christ, I just realized we will have like 6 more weeks of hearing the shrieky intro of that dispshit Jimmy Kimmel offkey New Year’s song before we can feverishly mash our remotes.