EPL Returns and Bountiful JV Saturday Preview

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

The international break is thankfully over and we can have a FULL Saturday of glorious couchbound sloth. Let there be much rejoicing. Today, I wish to single out for praise NBC’s Rebecca Lowe, for the fine job she does as a studio host for Premier League coverage. She is MUCH more than a fit bird (as the Brits would say), and each network’s NFL studio could take lessons in both professionalism, pace, and knowledge of the sport from Ms. Lowe.

As to the action on the pitch, NBCSN has a decent early bird special, with United taking on surprising Watford (7:45 EST). Unfortunately, the 10:00 games are mostly poop, I suggest flipping around aimlessly whilst I focus on Everton against last place Villa (Extra Time). The clear match of the day features City against Liverpool on “big boy” NBC at 12:30, but that cuts into university footy for me, and is a tough sell this late in the season.

Sunday funday only offers one fixture, but it’s a fine one – 5th place Spurs and the 6th place Hammers (11:00, NBCSN). Hey, it’s two teams best known by their nicknames!!! It’s also two sides who have a clear opportunity for advancement with Chelski floundering in the relegation zone. Much better than wasting your time with NFL pre-game shows. I beg of you, give this one a chance. You will at least kind of enjoy it, they are fun, evenly matched teams.

Remember last week when I talked about the calm before the storm? Yup, that’s thunder you hear. Not gas. OK, not just gas.

Michigan at Penn State (Noon, ABC)

Fuck both of these teams, with the rustiest of dildoes.

Memphis at Temple (Noon, ESPNU)

This no longer has major bowl implications, but I bet it finds a way to be watchable and interesting. I need something to flip to when NC State/Syracuse gets dreadfully boring, even for a partisan.

LSU at Ole Miss (3:30, CBS)

Weekend before Thanksgiving being the weird week when droves of SEC sides play 1-AA cupcake foes. This is something I will never understand, and it means this somewhat pedestrian fixture is CBS’ “showcase” game. Needless to say, the bloom is off the Bayou Bengals’ rose, after Pig Sooey gave them the home beating of a lifetime – at night, no less. We shall see if they take out some frustration on Johnny Reb, or if they are just beaten down for good this year.

USC at Oregon (3:30, ESPN)

Oh, this is gonna be some fucking FUN teevee. The Ducks seem to be sort of back, and have an outside shot at the Pac 12 title game. As do the Men of Troy, methinks. The scoreboard operator shall stay busy.

Michigan State at Ohio State (3:30, ABC)

This is a very important game, and I expect I will watch almost none of it. I suspect the home assholes will run train over Sparty, who got jobbed in Lincoln, but is in truth not really a very good footy side at all.

UCLA at Utah (3:30, Fox)

Team Secular Big Love let me down by losing at Arizona last week, and quashing my hopes they would end up in the playoffs and give me a team I could fully root for. Fuckers. Still, this could be a very entertaining game, with conference title ramifications.

Mississippi State at Arkansas (7:00, ESPN)

Pig Sooey’s “We Are the Angels of Death” vengeance tour continues. Prepare to see some cowbells stuck where the sun don’t shine.

Baylor at Oklahoma State (7:30, Fox)

We all know that T. Boone Pickens U. will either fuck up against BayBay or in the Bedlam game. It’s a matter of which. Another game that should challenge the scoreboard operator and entertain the viewer.

TCU at Oklahoma (8:00, ABC)

With Boykin, Bloodeyes were an entertaining, but flawed team. Their loss kept them out of title contention, but they still loomed as a spoiler candidate. Without Boykin, they damned near lost to FUCKING KANSAS at home. Boomer Sooner will be looking to rack up enough style points to hopefully make the Bedlam game a play-in for the 4th and final playoff slot (I still think a ND loss to Stanford will be required for that).

Cal at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Your weekly DVR/Westie/tweaker game! Watch it with thine Sunday coffee and enjoy some Pac 12 rivalry fun.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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