EPL Returns and Bountiful JV Saturday Preview

The international break is thankfully over and we can have a FULL Saturday of glorious couchbound sloth. Let there be much rejoicing. Today, I wish to single out for praise NBC’s Rebecca Lowe, for the fine job she does as a studio host for Premier League coverage. She is MUCH more than a fit bird (as the Brits would say), and each network’s NFL studio could take lessons in both professionalism, pace, and knowledge of the sport from Ms. Lowe.

As to the action on the pitch, NBCSN has a decent early bird special, with United taking on surprising Watford (7:45 EST). Unfortunately, the 10:00 games are mostly poop, I suggest flipping around aimlessly whilst I focus on Everton against last place Villa (Extra Time). The clear match of the day features City against Liverpool on “big boy” NBC at 12:30, but that cuts into university footy for me, and is a tough sell this late in the season.

Sunday funday only offers one fixture, but it’s a fine one – 5th place Spurs and the 6th place Hammers (11:00, NBCSN). Hey, it’s two teams best known by their nicknames!!! It’s also two sides who have a clear opportunity for advancement with Chelski floundering in the relegation zone. Much better than wasting your time with NFL pre-game shows. I beg of you, give this one a chance. You will at least kind of enjoy it, they are fun, evenly matched teams.

Remember last week when I talked about the calm before the storm? Yup, that’s thunder you hear. Not gas. OK, not just gas.

Michigan at Penn State (Noon, ABC)

Fuck both of these teams, with the rustiest of dildoes.

Memphis at Temple (Noon, ESPNU)

This no longer has major bowl implications, but I bet it finds a way to be watchable and interesting. I need something to flip to when NC State/Syracuse gets dreadfully boring, even for a partisan.

LSU at Ole Miss (3:30, CBS)

Weekend before Thanksgiving being the weird week when droves of SEC sides play 1-AA cupcake foes. This is something I will never understand, and it means this somewhat pedestrian fixture is CBS’ “showcase” game. Needless to say, the bloom is off the Bayou Bengals’ rose, after Pig Sooey gave them the home beating of a lifetime – at night, no less. We shall see if they take out some frustration on Johnny Reb, or if they are just beaten down for good this year.

USC at Oregon (3:30, ESPN)

Oh, this is gonna be some fucking FUN teevee. The Ducks seem to be sort of back, and have an outside shot at the Pac 12 title game. As do the Men of Troy, methinks. The scoreboard operator shall stay busy.

Michigan State at Ohio State (3:30, ABC)

This is a very important game, and I expect I will watch almost none of it. I suspect the home assholes will run train over Sparty, who got jobbed in Lincoln, but is in truth not really a very good footy side at all.

UCLA at Utah (3:30, Fox)

Team Secular Big Love let me down by losing at Arizona last week, and quashing my hopes they would end up in the playoffs and give me a team I could fully root for. Fuckers. Still, this could be a very entertaining game, with conference title ramifications.

Mississippi State at Arkansas (7:00, ESPN)

Pig Sooey’s “We Are the Angels of Death” vengeance tour continues. Prepare to see some cowbells stuck where the sun don’t shine.

Baylor at Oklahoma State (7:30, Fox)

We all know that T. Boone Pickens U. will either fuck up against BayBay or in the Bedlam game. It’s a matter of which. Another game that should challenge the scoreboard operator and entertain the viewer.

TCU at Oklahoma (8:00, ABC)

With Boykin, Bloodeyes were an entertaining, but flawed team. Their loss kept them out of title contention, but they still loomed as a spoiler candidate. Without Boykin, they damned near lost to FUCKING KANSAS at home. Boomer Sooner will be looking to rack up enough style points to hopefully make the Bedlam game a play-in for the 4th and final playoff slot (I still think a ND loss to Stanford will be required for that).

Cal at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Your weekly DVR/Westie/tweaker game! Watch it with thine Sunday coffee and enjoy some Pac 12 rivalry fun.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
448 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
scotchnaut

That’s the Cuse football I know and loathe.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Two more Dreama Walkers because I am still just waiting for gametime, paused my show it feels like 4 hours ago (checks time, like 1 ago) Fuck

http://happybday.to/sites/pics/Dreama-Walker-sexy-3.jpg

scotchnaut

Speaking of really hot 20-something’s prancing around in the kitchen in nothing but their undies, I really miss my alt-universe Paula Deen fantasies.

I still miss Harbaugh’s rageasm on an NFL sideline. Fuck your Jed York, you prissy cunt.

Sill Bimmons

comment image

scotchnaut

Speaking of something said earlier, I would love to have the courage to do this-

“Pleased to meet you! And this is my wife, Mrs. Scotchnaut. She’s a rescue.”

/some day…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

To kill time before the game. A couple of google search misfires, the second one is closer but this was way off

http://i43.tinypic.com/5zmj2u.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Still waiting for my game I can at least to pretend to care about. I will start watching and sleep through it. Because college football is the same thing as regular football w/ same commercials to nap through. Except I really don’t care and no Redzone. If there is one, waste of time, won’t help. I don’t care about what West Virginia is doing,

One more Krysten Ritter

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gdqgNUng7P4/UXG74YMZL2I/AAAAAAAAAT4/8IXPDbWkBOs/s1600/krysten-ritter-04.gif

scotchnaut

She looks like Tom Cruise’s practice-fuck doll. WOULD NOT BANG MORE THAN 45 TIMES.

Sill Bimmons

HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE AND HIDE YO HUSBAND BECAUSE THEY BE SUING EVERYBODY OUT HERE

http://deadspin.com/class-action-lawsuit-filed-against-daily-fantasy-partne-1743949446

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble Cromartie you find somewhere to stash the kids I’ll take care of the wives grumble grumble.

scotchnaut

Speaking of heroin, if asked I’d have to say my favourite addict was Lou Reed.

https://youtu.be/uiBvnbntiW8

/The Cowboy Junkies live version is awesome

scotchnaut

The Iron Wolfs are being pressed?

/sorry, had to

I like how Liverpool’s manager looks permanently sauced

scotchnaut

It’s always nice to be reminded of how old you are and how fast time is flying by. Fred Taylor’s son scored a TD for Florida.

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit!

Is he hurt yet?

Sill Bimmons

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Zero Kelvin.

Tell me that’s not a GREAT band name.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So is it just an L.A. thing, or is it everywhere, that people are so goddamned eager to drop that their dog is a rescue that they’ll jam it into the slightest interaction regardless of how irrelevant?

This morning, hiking at Griffith Park – pass by a woman with a small poodlish dog who meets and greets my own dog with puppy-like overtures.
ME: He’s a young one, huh?
HER: He’s a rescue.

ballsofsteelandfury

That should be in LA Story part 2.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

The inevitable endpoint of smug.
It is not just an LA thing.

Wait, you mean to tell me people from LA tend to be ostentatious, self-important jagoffs?

ballsofsteelandfury

#NotallLApeople

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sorry, but I have more important things to do than respond to this.

Sill Bimmons

REAL DARRERE DEL COBERT 0 — 3

ballsofsteelandfury

4-0. So fucking sweet.

Sill Bimmons

My stream is apparently behind.

ballsofsteelandfury

No Bein Sports?

Sill Bimmons

Watching Spanish Civil War doc on main TV.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s interesting stuff. Perfect for today’s game.

scotchnaut

Franco wins.

ballsofsteelandfury

SPOILER ALERT!

Sill Bimmons
scotchnaut

I was talking about James Franco. He always wins.

scotchnaut

Just went down to the beer store which in Ontario is called “The Beer Store” (smgh). They had a poster listing the top ten beers-9 out of 10 were lagers. We suck.*

*I bought a lager

WCS

Codeine Tylenol is a national treasure. Also had my first true plate of Canadian poutine yesterday. My innards are still in revolt, but it was so delicious.

ballsofsteelandfury

Please tell me you brought some back.

Of both.

scotchnaut

Whoa. Where were you?

/I find it’s quite a bit like heroin for me-the first three needles/forkfuls are amazing and afterwards you’re chasing the dragon.
//has never done heroin

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Still in Jessica Jones watch every time I am awake and can watch.

http://i39.tinypic.com/est8hk.gif

Northwestern/Wisconsin later as a break. Dad’s team against my….sister’s (elipses again) team who she fucking hated while there. Hockey girl.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She was even hot when she asphyxiated on her own vomit in Breaking Bad.
So…yeah.

Lothar of the Hill People

The 3:30 slate is incredible. However, since it’s an important OSU game, I’m gonna take advantage of the fact Columbus will be shut down to do my Thanksgiving grocery shopping, my son’s birthday shopping, and maybe try to knock out some Christmas shopping.

Then I’ll get home in time for the not-terribly impressive evening game slate.

Sill Bimmons

Orwell on La Sagrada Sagrada Família:

“… I went to have a look at the cathedral—a modern cathedral, and one of the most hideous buildings in the world. It has four crenellated spires exactly the shape of hock bottles … I think the Anarchists showed bad taste in not blowing it up … though they did hang a red and black banner between its spires.”

comment image

Sill Bimmons

One too many Sagradas there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

One can never have too many Sagradas.

Lothar of the Hill People

That happens when you (not you specifically, the general “you”) have one too many Sangrias

ballsofsteelandfury

I love how it won’t be finished until after we are long dead.

Spanky Datass

WVU is butt pounding Kansas.
42 – 0
2Q 5:37 left n clock.

Lothar of the Hill People

Well, Kansas is sort of cousins with WVU (in that both are related to the inbred state of Arkansas)

WCS

42-0 WVU with 5:32 left in the first half. Kansas isn’t very good at the footed ballsport.

Spanky Datass

JINX!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it 5:32 or 5:37???
I can trust neither of you now.

Spanky Datass

Welp, now it’s 2:44 and WVU has the ball first down in KU territory!

Spanky Datass

I gotta find a better game but the remote is sooooo far away.

WCS

That’s on you for trusting me to begin with.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So I’m presuming that Scotchnaut is not necessarily a ‘Cuse fitbaw fan. Otherwise he’d likely be a lot more vocal at the moment?

Sill Bimmons

He must be busy.

scotchnaut

The program is garbage. When I see signs of life I’ll start paying attention again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There ya go. TD Orange, dammit.

scotchnaut

That whole Greg Paulus thing was a fucking embarrassment. Jesus Christ.

/sorry, ranting

Sill Bimmons

INDEPENDÈNCIA IA LA INDEPENDÈNCIA PER SEMPRE

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bambard Doink.
At least it was sorta close.

Sill Bimmons
ballsofsteelandfury

Barca up 2-0 at the break. In Madrid.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ouch indeed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hokes keeping it close. For now, at least.
I still want to punch Ryan Switzer in the vagina.

Damn, Liverpool is giving City the business at home.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Teh Gray be powerfulz.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee hee…..give up the hate. You’ll be happier.

Sill Bimmons

No love for Lafayette — Lehigh or Pitt — Louisville?

comment image

Sill Bimmons

I am also mad at Pitt for losing to the Holes and the Irish.

And if Lafayette keeps it within 30 it’ll be a goddamn miracle.

Sill Bimmons

Damn. Saints with the home loss to Stoke. That’ll fuck that second place form guide long and well.

And Spurs/Hammers?

If it weren’t for Pompey that would be the meteor match for all time.

entropy

Sill!

So you went to Lafayette.. gotta ask this question: was it during the days of Shorts, Jabberwockys, or Drinky’s? I know you know what/where Mother’s (was), this place was on Northampton between 3rd and 2nd, and depending on when you went to school, that will determine what name you have for this bar.

Sill Bimmons

We didn’t drink in bars back then.

There were still 12 fraternities.

Sill Bimmons

And yes, I’ve been to Mother’s.

Can’t say I liked it much.

entropy

Mother’s was freaking terrible, and by the end, it NEEDED to be shut down.

entropy

Oh, and for this year only, I’m rooting against Lehigh largely due to the fucking idiots walking in front of my car this morning. They were everywhere, and managed that entitled, “I’m WALKING, you need to stop your car” look even when they weren’t in crosswalks.

Fuck those kids.

Sill Bimmons

Do you live in Bethlehem?

entropy

Yes I do.

Sill Bimmons
entropy

Heh. Actually, Bethlehem’s really nice these days. I’d say it’s only real issue is being next to Allentown, and an unfortunate number of people who blame all the town’s ills on Musikfest.

No one blames anything on Celtic Classic, because it is awesome.

Sill Bimmons

Bethlehem means House Of Bread in Hebrew.

ballsofsteelandfury

No mention of El Clásico? For shame. Btw, Barca is up 1-0.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s the usual two horse race with a couple of outsiders trying to get in the mix before eventually fading.

Sill Bimmons

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

The animal reaching out for the fruit and not getting it is perfectly apt.

laserguru

I am having a hard time trying to be functional today. The cold has shifted into the “bend over at the waist and cough up most of a lung” stage and I just want to stay in bed.

But I’ve got to get to the store and do my way too expensive pre-Thanksgiving shopping trip and I was even thinking about hitting the gym.
The gym may not happen today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You don’t have to need it to enjoy it.

ballsofsteelandfury

Just rub some Tussin on it!!

laserguru

“Unguent. I need unguent.”

Doktor Zymm

I’m getting all my Thanksgiving groceries delivered on Monday and Tuesday. I’m spoiled.

entropy

That you are, but then again, I had home-made pumpkin roll delivered last night and I was told by my sisters that I only need to show up “and start drinking” on Thursday, so maybe I’m spoiled too.

laserguru

My curiosity is piqued. What, pray tell, is a pumpkin roll?

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but I got one from my niece’s school fundraiser. Apparently, it’s a pumpkin-flavored cake rolled into a tube with some filling/frosting?

laserguru

Well. My stars.
Will wonders never cease.

Spanky Datass

I picked up my parents at the airport on Tuesday morning. Guess what I found out they brought me from New Zealand? A FUCKING INTERNATIONAL HEAD COLD!

Spanky Datass

“…from New Zealand this morning?” Didn’t feel sick until this morning called mom and asked if they had caught something on their trip she said “Yes, everybody had a cold at some point.”

Sill Bimmons

Do they live there or were they vacationing?

laserguru

Well shit.

Did they at least bring you a Lord of the Rings T-shirt?

entropy

It read, “My Parents Went to Hobbiton and All I Got Was This Lousy Head Cold.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

She and Rooker were awesome.
Not funny stoner dude whose name I can’t recall might as well have stayed home.

I’m still an ep short on Leftovers, but I did finally get the opposing rocks thru windows ep watched. WTF is wrong with those chicks????

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m hoping for a choco/vanilla lesbian scene.
Only question is who’d get to wear teh strap on?

laserguru

This show is fucking incredible. During my convalescence this past week I caught up on all of the DVR backlog. Holy shit these last 3 episodes are going to be good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m just so happy there has been no re-view of Rev Matt’s penis.
Once is enough.

laserguru

Yeah, watching three episodes on a row may cause permanent psychological damage.

entropy

He is a hell of a player, but when he came into the game against the US last year, I hated him with every fibre of my being.

entropy

I knew the US had no business being that far into the tourney, but I was also glad they weren’t a total joke throughout the Cup. Once Howard starting going off, I had this spark of hope and began thinking they could pull it off… and then Lukaku came in and showed just how outclassed most of the US Men’s team is, on the World stage.

I enjoy Arsene Wenger’s looks of consternation.

jjfozz

I got up at 6 to have the oldest spawn on a frozen ass soccer field by 730. Then I watched his entire team get taken to school.

But it was fun watching parents act like stage-mom assholes over a meaningless game.

Post breakfast bagel (chipotle cheese with egg and sausage) made it all better.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When I played basketball as a kid, I had a woman get in my face once because apparently I had been taking her kid to school the entire first half.

My own badass mom, who to me was meek and mild mannered up to that point in my life, told that chick in no uncertain terms that she would end her.

That is still one of my best childhood memories.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Hippo….I’m done putting time into putting game threads up. Seriously….how hard is it for Jeff to see that I was already writing/editing one. I mean he had to go to the dashboard to put his piddly ass one up, no?

Jeebus

theeWeeBabySeamus

teh gray iz awsuhm

scotchnaut

You forgot about Elon @ Syracuse 7pm.

/me and my desperation will be there

scotchnaut

Oh, in front of my tv I mean. I am thinking of taking in a live game though. I’m not sure there’s a more depressing, dirty place than Syracuse in winter time-so there’s that.

entropy

Sill, if and when you hop on this site today, I hope you see this.

After having to drive through the outside of Lehigh’s domain this morning, and damn near every color-sporting Lehigh student deciding that simply WALKING IN FRONT OF MY CAR, WHETHER I WAS STOPPED OR NOT, was a good idea, I have to hope that Lafayette beats seven shades of shit out of Lehigh today. Fuck those asshole kids this year. It’s an ENGINEERING SCHOOL; they should at least understand car beats human body 100% of the time.

Doktor Zymm

If they’re anything like the engineering students I know, they most likely have a minimal understanding of biology…

entropy

Story Time with Unca entropy:

When I was younger, I worked for Blockbuster Video. One fine day, as I was standing there, bored out of my mind and ready to smash everything in sight after listening to trailer tape upon trailer tape, I made a silent wish that something, anything, would happen.

I got my wish in the form of a Toyota Corolla smashing into the building and coming to a complete stop three feet from where I stood. The entire vestibule of the building was destroyed, a giant metal sign swung perilously close to my noggin, and the cash wrap I was standing in (the cabinets built to contain cash registers and other shit necessary to rent movies to dipshits) was demolished. I was showered in safety glass, and pretty fucking shaken up.

As various emergency crews showed up, they extricated the car, which suffered only minor damage, and as I stood nearby, I got to hear the Lehigh Engineering major who had been driving explain to the police that there was no way he hit the gas instead of the brake, there must have been a brake failure. After a good half hour of this bullshit denial of negligence, the police finally let the young man leave.

Remember: he is an admitted engineering student at one of the better such schools in the country, and he just told the police his vehicle suffered a major breakdown in a primary safety component of said vehicle. He denied being absent minded and basically a threat to all life, and instead blamed his conveyance for the trouble.

He then got in his car and drove off, in full view of police, fire fighters, and a news crew that showed up to record the incident.

entropy

Well, fucked up those italics. I was told there was an edit button, but I think that was a lie.

blaxabbath

Is that when the recalls happened?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Sister Mayhem went to Lehigh. They understand nothing. Just watch the drunks roll down their hill early on a Sunday morning.

entropy

I’ve done that my own self, back in the day. And if you ever visited her, I’m sure you stopped in at the Tally Ho, and it’s a shame what they did to the old girl.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

So much for that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Duke plays basketball?? How did I miss that?

I’ve got nothing constructive to say. Here’s a gif of a Hippo doing a flip.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-t6x19Qw3lY8/U_N1gI6-GwI/AAAAAAAAhCA/S20Nx6H6fUA/s1600/Hippo.gif

entropy

“The graceful hippo, seen here in its water habitat, performs an effortless fli— jesus christ, is that the best fucking footage we have of this vicious sea beast?!”

— Sir David Attenborough

theeWeeBabySeamus

And how dare you not include teh IRONWOLF in your rundown.
You’re dead to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Terminator Rules!!!
Oh shit…wrong website.

Sorry…carry on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, as I am partial to both, I cannot reconcile.
But yeah, maybe not as vocal as the Trekkies or the Star Wars geeks, but it’s there.

I’ve been called stupid for liking Terminator Salvation.
As if I didn’t already know I was stupid.
But….teh Moon Bloodgood flying (and kinda crashing) an A10 Warthog…how can that not be awesomeness, in spite of Christian Bale’s usual overacting????

comment image

….I rest my case…

entropy

I enjoyed Terminator: Salvation for multiple reasons, Moon Bloodgood being chief among them. I thought it was just a fun movie, and some of the set pieces (the bridge scene, from the autonomous motorcycle drop to the big-ass harvester picking up people from the side of the bridge) were just awesome.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. The Robocycles effects were great.

Don T
Doktor Zymm

I can’t find a damn copy of Brain Candy anywhere.

Don T

“What about… The gun. Did you give the gun a cleaning?”

1 2 3 5