Stupid window crashed on me and I am typing this for a second time. Like it was even very good the first time, for fuck’s sake.

Browns at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)

Better late than never? I suppose the SeaTruthers can take up that rallying cry, after a rash of RB injuries and meh defensive work forced them to reluctantly become a passing team. And, much like at every other non-bedroom step in his prolific career, the Charmslinger has been up to the task. I have nothing new to say about the clownshow that is The Factory. Like my dead pappy used to say, “it is what it is.”

Packers at Raiders (4:05, Fox)

One franchise on its way up, the other on its way down (though Rodgers remains exceptional). A pretty fascinating matchup, I wish this had been flexed to SNF instead of the silly Bird Battle. Great shootout potential, too.

Broncos at Steelers (4:25, CBS)

Today’s featured fixture, for certain, with immense implications for the playoff race (even at 11 wins, there will be one chair too few for the Jets, Chefs, Stillers, and Donks) and for homefield. Denver absolutely has to win this week or next (home vs. Cincy) or they are royally fucked, as would then lose any and all tiebreakers. I have a really bad feeling about this one, as The Ben looks like he has been promised all the Choco Tacos he can eat of late.

Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)

Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! Speaking of spinners…wonder if we will see screenshots of AJ McCarron’s bae? You know Brent Musberger will be watching.

Dolphins at Chargers (4:25, CBS)

Probably will be on constant loop at Gitmo all week. DO SOMETHING, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL!!