You Don’t Care – Balls’ 2015 FF season

This year, for some God-forsaken reason that I can’t remember, I decided to join 5, count them, FIVE fantasy football leagues including the two 20-team insane leagues we created in this here website. How did I do?

League: Gratuitious Simpsons References

Team name and meaning: Steel Sidebottoms and it’s a play on a real-life AFL player named Steele Sidebottom.  I shit you not.

Regular Season result:  3rd of 12. Qualified for the playoffs!

Summary:  The guys that run this here site had been running this league from back in the KSK days and (out of pity?) decided to invite me to join them this year.  Luckily, I was able to put in a good enough showing so that I’ll be invited back next year.  Although, I’m still pissed that I missed out on a first round bye because the tiebreaker in my division was head-to-head and I lost to Cuntler twice. Ah, well, it probably wouldn’t have mattered because I got stuffed into Horatio’s locker in the first round of the playoffs and them promptly got steamrollered by Rikki Tikki Deadly in the 5th place game last week.

Final Result:  6th place

Final League Results:  1st: We Buy Ugly Alpacas, 2nd: Jared Fogle’s Locker, 3rd: TooManyDickJokes, 4th: Partyinmymouth, 5th: Turbulent Juicers

League: La Familia

Team name and meaning: Laveon’s Steel Balls and it’s a play on Le’veon Bell, Steeler RB until his leg was destroyed for the year.  Apparently, I can’t spell his name right.  I’m a horrible fan.

Regular Season result: 4th of 12. Qualified for the playoffs!

Summary: I’ve been playing in this league for almost 15 years.  It’s put together by a friend of mine that used to work for me many jobs ago and it’s mostly made up of his family members (hence the name) who all happen to be Raider fans.  There’s a sprinkling of Cowboys fans too and some law enforcement, so basically it’s made up of the most hated people on this planet.  Injuries really ravaged this team, but I managed to sneak into the playoffs.  This is a big money league, so I was hoping to at least get 3rd place money, but that dream was dashed when I lost in the first round.  Subsequently, I lost in the 5th place game.

Final Result: 6th place

Final League Results: 1st: The Schmucks, 2nd: fuck the bullshit, 3rd: Do it 4 the kids bro, 4th: RN4L_AROD, 5th: OhNoHeDin’t

League: KSKKommentatorKatastrophe

Team name and meaning: Buffet of Anal.  Fun fact:  One year, we named all our team with the word “anal” in the team name.  Some of us kept the tradition going.

Regular Season result: 2nd of 10. Qualified for the playoffs!

Summary: This league started back in the KSK days and has a bunch of kommenters from there.  It’s a committed group and we’ve been able to hang in despite the downfall of our beloved old site and the fact that people move on.  This is my other money site, so making the playoffs was key.  I won the first round and just this weekend lost in the championship game.  It was a nice reversal as last year I beat the same team for the championship, so the circle was completed.  I don’t mind second place.  This league is tough.

Final Result: 2nd place

Final League Results: 1st: The Dingleberries, 2nd:  Buffet of Anal, 3rd and 4th:  If Demarious Thomas gets more than 11 points tonight, it will be Courtney Browns Knee that gets 3rd.  Otherwise, it will be Brady’s Anal Balls.

League: Worst. League. Ever.

Team name and meaning: Nakia’s Cockatoos and it’s another play on the name of a real AFL player.

Regular Season result: 6th of 20 (but only because the playoffs got expanded to 6 teams at the last week.  Yeah, I was the Washington Redskins of this league.  Still qualified for the playoffs!)

Summary:  This is the first of the two 20-team leagues we put together on this site and I can say it was pretty damn fun!  20 teams wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  Of course, since this league is made up and the points don’t matter, the championship will be held NEXT WEEK. I lost in the first round of the playoffs, but came back to win this week and grab 5th place over Hodor?

Final Result: 5th place

Final League Results: Unknown at this time, but the contenders are:  Championship Game: Wilfork Witherspoon (2nd seed) vs Turd Ferguson (5th seed).  3rd Place: King Hippo Chuh Chuch (1st seed) vs MikeMartzDoesn’tWhat? (3rd seed)

League: DFO (aka Sill’s Insanity League)

Team name and meaning: BoS underwear models

Regular Season result: 2nd of 20. Qualified for playoffs!

Summary: Sill’s insanity league was indeed insane as we routinely had scores in the 200s and even some in the 300s as his scoring rules were…not normal.  That made it a lot of fun, though.  I won my first playoff game last week against VaccinesCauseCutler (3 seed) and I thought I would be in trouble against the #1 seeded Krieger’s VAN van.  Somehow, someway, I pulled that one out of my ass thanks to Kirk “YOU LIKE THAT” Cousins who got 63 mothaflipping points to vault me to the championship.

Final Result:

Feel free to share how you did in the comments.  No one cares, but it’s still fun to talk about it.