Your Happy Scrappy 4PM Slate Open Thread

TB @ Car: And lo! What have we here? Another game that means nada. Looking at the Panthers over the last couple of games you can see some Parcells-approved chinks in their armour. The loss to Atl, the squeaker vs. the Giants and t’udder close call against the Saints indicate that Carolina is somewhat vulnerable. Or more likely, they just need to re-focus. And what better team to do that against than the “lost last 4 of 5” Tampa Bucs?

Oak @ KC: I’m just not feeling this one. KC’s rolling and the Raiders, despite showing great promise for the next few years, are circling the drain. Maybe these guys can channel their inner ’90’s tendency to knock the stuffing out of each other and we end up with a watchable game.

SD @ Den: Can not wait to see S Weddle play today! Wait. What? He was placed on IR? He was fined 10K for watching his daughter perform at half-time? He showed up the team’s medical staff by running sprints in front of reporters? When will this San Diego-appropriate madness end!?!?!? This is most likely the last time you’ll see WR Floyd and TE Gates so drink that all in. Rivers will probably end up forcing the ball into both of them making it that much easier for 1.) the Denver D to win this game on its own and 2.) Chargers management to say goodbye to HC McCoy on Monday.

Sea @ Den: This should be a good one. Over the last six games these two squadrons are 1 and 2 in yards gained per game. The difference could be that during that same time the Cards are +11 in turnover margin. PFF’s number one FS, Arizona’s Mathieu ran into the worst three letters in the alphabet that an active football player could-ACL. CTE being the worst three that a retired player could run into. But really, they wouldn’t be the Cards if they didn’t have a significant player go down with a season-ender, would they?

StL @ SF: BRRRRR! Do you feel a draft? So do these guys.

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fleshwound_NPG

Manning coming back in. Aw shit.

King Hippo

PeyPey time!

litre_cola

I have now turned off Redzone to watch and see if he gets killed.

Sill Bimmons

BATTLEDROID ONLINE

ThePirateSloth

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Sill Bimmons

Hate. Lucas. So. Much.

evilbeaver8

Final Score SD: 20
DEN: Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound to Temple

King Hippo

defensive holding on a 3 yard route on 2nd and 18. fucking moron

JustStopDude

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Romonobyl

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Bortleback

I’m pretty sure that 14 is what they did with Elway

fleshwound_NPG

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP FUCKING THE DOG, DONKS

makeitsnowondem

motherfuck

King Hippo

I should just take all my oxy and go to bed.

ThePirateSloth

Why do you gotta make a Fua outta yourself?

Recovery Whiskey

Palmer out for Az.

makeitsnowondem

Voluntarily, right? Please?

King Hippo

pulled for rest or hurt?

ThePirateSloth

He was the only starter pulled for the game.

Recovery Whiskey

Arians comment was Palmer out is voluntary. But everyone else stays in because he’s punishing them for sucking in the first half. I’m paraphrasing slightly

makeitsnowondem

Really wanted to watch Stevie Johnson today. Thanks for nothing, God.

Redshirt

Are San Diego fans rooting for or against the Chargers with the impending move to L.A.?

blackroseMD1

I’m still rooting for the players.

Management and ownership can fucking suck it though.

makeitsnowondem

We won’t help out Michael Schofield. We have to focus on executing those third-and-longs he keeps producing.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
fleshwound_NPG
Recovery Whiskey

Ray Ratto still gets buffet for the whole game, whats he upset about

makeitsnowondem

The Saints’ defense’s DVOA is more than two and a half times the DVOA of the next worst defense, the Browns. I wonder what the cap consequences would be for firing half their coaches and players.

Spanky Datass
makeitsnowondem

Sandbagging your way into the playoffs is my favorite Arizona thing

JustStopDude

http://i.imgur.com/jFA6Bgj.gifv

Burj Khalifa…kind of looks like that Lord of the Rings Tower in person…

Bortleback

You know you’re out of control when Cortland Finnegan is the one stopping you from getting in a fistfight with the other team. Never change, Josh Norman.

Redshirt

Oh good. Snow is coming.

http://i.imgur.com/UIUHOlJ.gif

Romonobyl

Two Broke Girls = Two Great _______.

ThePirateSloth

Fuck you Aikman. No one is worried about the Seahawks kicker except you.

Recovery Whiskey

Troy Aikman’s CTE seems oddy focused sometimes

King Hippo

STOP MAKING EXCUSES YOU WASTE OF CARBON HILLBILLY MOTHERFUCKER

King Hippo

Michael Schofield is even worse than Ronnie Hillman.

Bortleback

He should stick to breaking out of prisons

fleshwound_NPG

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JustStopDude

THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!

...

It’s only a matter of time before someone makes a porn of fucking on those things.

King Hippo

why call timeout before you even know if you will make the first down? fucking morons

Romonobyl

The Lovie Smith School of Clock Management.

King Hippo

FUCKING HILLMAN

King Hippo

take a knee and try not to fuck that up

JustStopDude

I got this!

http://i.imgur.com/Ltvx8rT.gifv

Oh wait….shit..I don’t…

ThePirateSloth

The guy at the end: “nah, it ain’t gonna hit mEEEEEEEE OH FUCK”

JustStopDude

Since I lived and worked in the Middle East, this whole subculture over there among these rich locals is fascinating. They literally argue that its a religious thing as they are putting their lives into God’s hands.

http://i.imgur.com/86Wd3tj.gifv

Like this one…God called his idiots home…I think…

Bortleback

Jesus take the wheel!

Romonobyl

Looks like a Middle Eastern location, usually that truck would have gotten all explody at some point.

JustStopDude

I want to say its Saudi Arabia…so technically allies.

http://i.imgur.com/VUf7VWp.gif

Allies with more money than common sense…but allies none the less…

Bortleback

Yes, allies*

*Conditional upon oil supplies and price

...

I really want a moderator at a GOP debate to ask the candidates if they support our alliance with Saudi Arabia right after a question about whether they support Sharia Law.

ThePirateSloth

I’m anxiously looking forward to PKs hot taek on the state of extra point misses on the season and how easy it is to kick one in the NFL.

Bortleback

Haven’t read PK since KSK shut down. My blood pressure has been thanking me ever since. Did see PK’s mug on one of those The Timeline episodes that the NFL are showing, though. My gag reflex was quasi-triggered by it.

ThePirateSloth

Name 5 things that make you gag more. I bet you can’t.

...

Funny thing is that I used to thirst for the PK takedowns but now that they’re gone I don’t miss them.

I mean, I still hate Peter King and all…

I should just harass him on Twitter, shouldn’t I?

King Hippo

this is just fucking pathetic

Romonobyl

Well, the night game is supposed to be pretty good, right…RIGHT?!?!?!

Recovery Whiskey

Arizona is going to get an opportunity to do a TCU v Oregon in the second half

blackroseMD1

Malcom Floyd heading to the locker room before halftime in his final career game?

That about sums up the Chargers this year.

Old School Zero

so sad

Doktor Zymm

I suspect the Seahawks keep making these long runs in an attempt to Doppler shift their unis to a better color.

blordinaryfagicmox

That joke sounded different after it flew over my head.

Romonobyl

All these turnovers are making my hungry for empanadas.

Doktor Zymm

Mmmm. There is never a bad time for empanadas.

Sill Bimmons

Seahawks unis are just the worst.

...

Seattle Seasonal Affective Disorder Gray

litre_cola

Baltimore’s mustard pants take offense to that.

Sill Bimmons

I first read that as “murder pants.”

litre_cola

Potato, potahtoe

...

Those would more likely resemble ketchup as opposed to mustard.

ThePirateSloth

I got my conf call moved to another day. A scotch has now been poured.

http://replygif.net/i/363.gif

Doktor Zymm

Congrats! Conference calls are obnoxious at the best of times, and downright unbearable during even the stupidest football.

litre_cola

So if 2 of the 3 teams move to LA, does the other team move to Wichita?

Old School Zero

Josh Lambo… Josh… LA…mbo… hmmmmmmmmmm

blackroseMD1

Good thing they cut Nick Novak. New Orleans already has one mediocre team.

Old School Zero

Nate Kaeding would have taken us to WICHITA

blackroseMD1

John Carney to Canada?

makeitsnowondem

Josh Lambo has 9 letters in his name.
Josh Lambo wears #2.
2 is the number of goalposts.
The goalposts, side by side, look like a pair of 1s, or an 11.
2 equals 11-9.
11-9 is the way the date 9-11 is written in Europe.
Josh Lambo = 9-11.

Old School Zero

Great. Now I’m woke. Thanks a lot, alot,

evilbeaver8

If Denver loses and KC wins, Denver gets Houston…then likely Cincy….If they win they likely get Stillers in Divisional round…hmmm

Bortleback

Are they out-Patsing the Pats?

Romonobyl

And Leon’s getting larger!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I picked a hell of a week to not drink during football. WTF games, what is up with you? You need to talk to someone? Cause I ain’t that person, but I’m sure we could get you a good referral.

Romonobyl

1-800-CON-CUSS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I chose to nap this afternoon, but from what I was told the afternoon games sucked, but only as much as most games this year have, which is to say entirely. If you are angry at someone I would suggest going after Goodell

Romonobyl

A nap sounds like a great idea, better take the onion off my belt first.

makeitsnowondem

The Shannon Sharpe ornament just fell off my tree. I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything.

King Hippo

Fuck, I thought he missed it.

litre_cola

Have we talked about the altitude yet?
Signed,
Jerome Bettis from Detroit, Jimmy Graham played basketball

Croooow

PS: Fitzpatrick attended Harvard

makeitsnowondem

I’m going to improvise a car bomb out of rye, Bailey’s, and Avery Old Jubilation, brb

King Hippo

I will gladly join you on your killing spree, just tell me where in between NC and TX to meet up.

Sill Bimmons

OSTRICHCEPTION 2: HEADINTHEGROUND BOOGALOO

blackroseMD1

Maybe the Bolts should have played mostly backups on defense all season?

...

WHY DOES NO ONE IN THE AFC WANT TO WIN?