Reporter: “The stakes are pretty high here, aren’t they?”
Coach Reid: [rolls eyes] “Of course they are-three quarters of an inch at the very least!. [enters trance, talks in monotone] And the twice-baked potato must have bacon in it. The salad must have bacon. The roasted asparagus must have bacon. [emerges from reverie] Mmmmm. Uh, next question?”
Oh, there’s a game with Reid coaching and you thought you might get through the intro without a food reference? Really? Okay, Gronk is questionable. Pats fans shout in unison, THE ONLY THING QUESTIONABLE IS YOUR DESIRE! ALL HAIL SAT-, WE MEAN BELICHICK. APOLOGIES, WE MAKE THAT MISTAKE MORE OFTEN THAN WE’D LIKE TO ADMIT. I’m sure that Gronk’s new “personal assistant” is going to whip him up some sort of special milkshake with extra warthog ovaries that will enable him to play. How important is it for Brady that his fave TE plays? His QBR rating drops from 80 down to 31 without him. The Chiefs front can and must get pressure on the Pats QB-Brady’s O-line has given up 38(!) sacks this year. Speaking of questionable, WR Maclin and his high ankle sprain made the trip but he’s iffy-there’s only so much warthog parts to go around. He and TE Kelce combined for 49% of all pass targets this year. Yet Another Injury Note: WR Antonio Brown has been ruled out of this game as well as tomorrow’s tilt against Denver. KC’s O looks to be on QB Smith’s shoulders but he seems to up to the task. Since the winning streak started he’s passing downfield a bit more, has rushed for more first downs than RB West and six out of ten times his QB rating has been above 100. Perhaps this weird Chiefs mojo will continue-wouldn’t that be great?
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