The Oscars are almost upon us, with all their unpredictability. You don’t need an oracle to tell you what will happen. You don’t even need a film critic. You need someone who sees into the very souls of the Academy voters. You need a Straight White Man.
The short film categories are some of my favorites every year, because they point me to things I’d otherwise never think to watch, and also because I can watch any one of them and formulate a hot take about it in less than an hour. Unfortunately, the short films are also where my quest to watch every Oscar-nominated movie hit a brick wall this year. The live action shorts were all released on streaming services, and so were three of the animated shorts. The other two animated shorts I managed to track down elsewhere. But the documentaries, well… I’d been counting on them getting an online release as well, and it didn’t happen. Two are on Netflix. There’s one theater in town showing the whole set, but I think I’m out of time to get there before awards night. Oh well. They’ll all be releasing on HBO starting in March, so maybe I’ll catch up then.
One of the things I love most about these films is the way they manage to tell their stories within a very tight space. In that spirit, I’m going to keep my own commentary as concise as possible.
ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Bear Story – When I sat down to watch the animated shorts, I was not expecting to get a thinly veiled allegory about the Pinochet regime right off the bat. Sad, beautifully animated with a charming clockwork motif, and apparently loosely based on the true story of the filmmaker’s grandfather, who was exiled from Chile for ten years.
Prologue – If the award goes to the film with the most impressive animation, Prologue will be your winner for its incredible hand-drawn scenes of brutal hand-to-hand combat. Not to spoil the action but for once, the one film in this category where someone’s anus is bleeding is not the one by Don Hertzfeldt. Prologue is also one of two reasons I’m declaring 2015 the Year of the Animated Dong, so those of you with kids, please exercise parental discretion.
Sanjay’s Super Team – A positively adorable story about an Indian father and son that will resonate with anyone raised in any sort of religious household, and this Pixar joint doubles as a superhero cartoon!
We Can’t Live Without Cosmos – A Russian cartoon with a more traditional cartoon animation style than the other entries and entirely without dialogue. Cosmos is a very touching short story of two inseparable best friends experiencing cosmonaut training, their mission, and its aftermath. Inside Out did the best job of any film this year of making grief and loneliness funny, but Cosmos isn’t a bad second.
World of Tomorrow – I know for certain we’ve got at least one Don Hertzfeldt fan here at DFO, and probably a lot more than that. Hertzfeldt was nominated for an Oscar in 2000 for the legendary Rejected. World of Tomorrow retains Rejected‘s minimalist character design, but it’s a much more visually dense and thematically philosophical film about a future where people’s consciousnesses are copied into new bodies after their deaths, and nostalgia has become the world’s most popular pastime, framed around a third-generation clone trying to explain that future to her four-year-old self/great-great-grandparent. It’s also really, really, really funny. The ending had me absolutely dying.
Will/Should Win: World of Tomorrow. As a story, it’s miles ahead of the rest, and its hyperactive visual style makes great use of color and shape to bring its surreal future world to life. Anything else would be a huge letdown.
Second Choice: We Can’t Live Without Cosmos.
Upset Special: Prologue. It’s a pretty thin film, but this wouldn’t be the first time the Academy has interpreted “Best Animated Short” as “Best-Animated Short.”
LIVE-ACTION SHORT FILM
Ave Maria – A great, inventive little comedy featuring a Jewish family who crash their car outside a Palestinian Christian convent on the Sabbath, in which the two groups must help each other navigate their various religious proscriptions in order to get the family safely home again.
Day One – This one follows a U.S. Army translator’s first day on the job in Afghanistan, and wastes no time throwing her into the deep end. A very compelling portrayal of the tension and chaos that I imagine must be at least some part of every military interaction with local residents. Day One is probably the most technically impressive of this group,
Alles Wird Gut (Everything Will Be Okay) – Two years ago, a French film titled Avant que de tout perdre (Just Before Losing Everything) was nominated in this category. At 29 minutes, it may be the tensest thriller I’ve ever seen, depicting a woman who’s enlisted the help of her co-workers to leave her abusive husband. The film never outright tells you what’s happening, instead letting you put together the pieces yourself. Alles Wird Gut works very similarly (over just 12 minutes, this time) and so I won’t spoil any of the plot points here, but I’m a big fan of this sort of storytelling-by-incremental-revelation. It’d probably be too exhausting over the course of a feature film, but it works in a a short.
Shok – Shok doesn’t draw attention to its climax, which happens in the literal background of a shot, and happens so quickly that you can blink and miss it completely. That’s fitting for a movie set in the middle of the widely ignored Kosovo War. Unfortunately a lot of other things about this movie didn’t work for me at all, like the frame story, the first half of which has its main character acting in ways that seem contrived for dramatic effect even after the movie provides the context.
Stutterer – A sweet but predictable—but still very sweet!—film about a man with a stuttering problem who’s agreed to meet his Internet girlfriend in person for the first time. Stutterer reminds me a bit of David O. Russell’s work in the way it uses a disorder as a starting point to look at experiences common to everyone.
Will Win: I think Day One has an advantage here because of the story behind the film; it was made by a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, based on real experiences with his Pashtun-American translator.
Should Win: Alles Wird Gut.
Upset Special: Ugh, Shok.
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Body Team 12 – This short documentary, which I didn’t see, is about the work of a body removal team during the Liberian ebola epidemic. Olivia Wilde produced the film.
Chau, Beyond the Lines – Chau started out as the story of a young Vietnamese boy who wants to become an artist but suffers from severe Agent Orange-related birth defects, but developed into a sort of mini-Boyhood, following its subject through eight years of childhood and young adulthood as he pursues that dream. Equal parts horrifying and inspiring.
Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of Shoah – I also didn’t see this, a making-of film about the legendary Holocaust documentary Shoah, but there seems to be widespread agreement that it’s the most technically adept film in this category.
A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness – This is the last of the three I didn’t get to see. It’s about “honor killings” of Pakistani women.
Last Day of Freedom – The only animated documentary in the group, Last Day is about the murder conviction and subsequent execution of a black veteran with PTSD, told through an extended interview with his brother. Visually, the film alternates between sketches of its interview subject and depictions of the events he’s describing. As someone who cares a lot about this subject and has worked with death row inmates, Last Day is both touching and maddening. I’m skeptical, though, that anyone who cares enough to watch this documentary will learn anything they didn’t already know.
Will Win: Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of Shoah. I’ve never seen Shoah itself either, but I know its reputation as one of the greatest documentaries ever. This one seems to be the consensus favorite to win, both for the sake of its subject and for the quality of its production. I don’t have any reason to doubt it.
I Liked: Chau, Beyond The LInes.
Upset Special: Last Day of Freedom‘s unique visual style might get it some extra attention. Either of the other two I haven’t seen could have a shot based on subject matter alone.
Well, that’s it for me too. G’night.
https://youtu.be/ye7s4ybA7h4
If I’m sticking with the 90s, how’s about some Kids In The Hall, since that rabbithole appeared in my searches.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/23b84236494abbbfdb5ef75a61a88cd0/tumblr_noq8hdrzfj1u0c1b5o3_400.gif
https://youtu.be/j5bIW882OR8
Followup!
http://updates.canadianmusichalloffame.ca/media/2012/09/These-are-the-Daves-I-Know.png
https://youtu.be/JF1chLj1fro?t=13s
…and a little Bobby vs. Satan
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/5-17-2015/ruH-k7.gif
https://youtu.be/PoAGasPLh30?t=1m12s
I don’t care if it doesn’t fit the 90s theme, I’m putting forward some pirate metal – Alestorm. It’s fun.
http://www.alestorm.net/graphics/cmr.jpg
https://youtu.be/f55CqLc6IR0
Now, let’s see if I can get that pesky embed to work.
I’m out…literally.
Dammit!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJo0MT3wDBs
OK, one more. Damn you youtube autoplay….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sj_U6vObUA
Ha!!!!
OK, I’m nodding. I completely missed my masturbation window. Dammit.
I’ll leave you with this one before I pass out for the night, tho…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO8vBVUaKvk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjg39XRkjVc
An enjoyable song.
They’re one of my favs.
Speaking of pilot eps of good shows…closing music to The Walking Dead pilot ep…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5Xfch1oERc
Another polarizing band. I don’t like a lot of their stuff, but I love this one….
Is this more than you bargained for yet?
Tell Mommy I’m watching you two from the closet.
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans.
Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG-vLZrb-g
Sorry, but, I won’t post Fall Out Boy.
Not a problem. LIke I said…polarizing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XleOkGsYgO8
BBQ FORK TO THE BALLS!
This does not sound ideal.
Another chuckler. Up yours boy bands.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw
Hell yeah. I forgot they played this over the end of the pilot, which was when I knew that I was 100% onboard with The Americans.
https://youtu.be/YkADj0TPrJA
Pheel
How do you do that?
Don’t trust whitey.
/couldn’t resist
I’m thinking of upgrading my 2009 Honda Civic Hybrid.
But she’s a fucking ferocious beast.
Yeah!
Also a somewhat polarizing band. I like ’em.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRdtXWcgIw
Wifey just said she loves this song, for what it’s worth.
Wifey is an awesome chick…for what it’s worth.
Little known fact…Opening music to the Jericho TV show pilot ep. Mostly because almost no one but me watched that show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZTpLvsYYHw
I liked that show. I wasn’t entirely thrilled with the second season even beyond it cramming a season and a half into 12 episodes, but it was still good.
Yeah, at that point they knew they were toast, trying to give at least somewhat of a conclusion I guess, even on a bad timetable.
I still mourn that show. Had so much potential to develop.
There was a comic book series, Jericho: Season 3. Like Buffy: Season 8.
I have no idea if it’s any good, though.
Holy shit. Even the comic was abbreviated to six issues.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jericho_Season_3:_Civil_War
LMAO
And then Keri Russell slams the guy’s head through the garage drywall.
She’s the hottest when she’s violent.
/can’t wait for March 16
Indeed.
Wait. What? That fucker.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/tv/2016/01/16/keri-russell-expecting-americans-co-star-matthew-rhys/78905808/
Yup….the bang in real life.
Like Ryan Atwood and Morena Baccarin. Speaking of fuckers.
They couldn’t make the gif any darker?
http://33.media.tumblr.com/a50fb692ffd5e39aa3dc50a640d18802/tumblr_nj1reyUtZY1rultj5o1_500.gif
He had it coming.
Here’s one that always gives me a chuckle…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A
We need more Tool (TWSS).
Well I certainly do. I don’t about the rest of you….but I’ve been told that way too often.
*know
/dropping random words
//need to drink more maybe
Here’s a love it or hate it. I happen to love it. If you don’t…the I will agree to disagree
(and you may fuck off)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPTELylZ1s
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CmAKAZkYCtQ/UFHmbs36DXI/AAAAAAAAC4M/QCtrQRcmoBk/s1600/thumbs-up-gladiator.gif
Indeed, Seamus, same album.
(the album is Reach the Beach; buy it now you dickslaps)
I have it on vinyl and CD.
Been awhile tho. Gotta dust it off and rediscover.
http://i.imgbox.com/L3tFqW8G.jpg
Yup….still way more betterer than average.
Feel free to play air guitar.
You all owe it to yourselves to listen to The Fixx.
Agreed…you OWE Pook, you owe (obscure and unrelated New Jack City reference)
Same album I think… though my memory of that time is now….HEY SHUT UP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOiZP8FS5Ww
The Americans on the TV. A topped-off glass of whisky. Hawaiian for dinner.
I could get used to this.
http://i.imgbox.com/ElLpD2lH.jpg
Oh my. Well that’s just….so….way better than average.
The set is called “In Perfect Form.”
How did I manage to like my own comment. I’m not even particularly drunk tonight.
Senility setting in faster than I’d thought.
Not done with the ’90s yet, Seamus.
All over the map…just like usual with myself and my own choices. Love it.
Nice pick.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/357f33e8626efdc77dde2cddb25fa020/tumblr_mwi1srBEsb1r8pyjso1_500.gif
Is it wrong that I really want to spank her. I mean no damage and no real pain….just….smack dat azz.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdutj1RQ921qkg5u5o1_500.gif
I realize I’ve been more or less dictating the tunes, but, audio therapy always helps me. I’ve been walking around all day in a daze, thinking about Porky and his family. This has been my outlet, so I thank you for letting me be a part of it.
Ditto. What that poor dude is having to deal with has been eating at me all day.
And now….thank you, you magnificent bastard.
Me too. It was difficult to sleep last night.
My mind has been going over this all day.
We are a very close bunch and I had no idea how much until.
I love you guys so much.
And I leave the house and everything!
OK…I guess it’s 80s now. WCS has made the call.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adOITE1IOmw
http://41.media.tumblr.com/40f327e77613c62d7d14347377ee2591/tumblr_mwotb2x8I71rc0soco1_1280.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/a30728216fdece80c00ca2d96600ccac/tumblr_mt9eb3qJxp1rq0r8go1_500.gif
Wow…I thought that was older than it was.
My memory doesn’t seem to be as good anymore as….wait, what was I talking about?
Another post-90s favorite (of mine at least) from a mostly 90s band…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_LxyhCJpsM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugwhHxUhnBU
The Bears in Yinzerburgh.
Such irony.
CLUB CAFE MUTHAFUCKAS
True story time.
After I moved back to California after my Jersey experience, I drove a cab, bounced at a couple of bars, worked, you know? Before finishing up my degree.
I was a combination DJ/bouncer at this place in San Diego (Kearney Mesa if we are going to be historically correct} called the Bacchenal and I escorted all of the “het up” women in from the previous hour of Chippendales dancer shit, then I would do the announcer shit after playing an hour or two of bump music. I introduced Adrian Belew and The Bears, Stan Ridgeway and Robin Trower among others.
I’ve been a DJ since 1980.
Ladies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXhmwMdUKfA
http://i921.photobucket.com/albums/ad60/cherrybuster_2010/Penis_Vagina.gif
Target acquired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGiTPgvKktM
One of my top 10 videos ever.
Nice….Love them.
Eddie no lookie so great. Voice still works tho.
What is 4k, when did it become a thing, and why does it take five minutes to load?
Ultra HD, more or less.
Uncle Al and Ogre.
OK…I lied. But FWIW, I really meant it at the time.
(last one…really…this time I mean it…just like last time I said it)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjuUMA6W9Zs
http://56.media.tumblr.com/6b02a805fe897a16b3aad326be12e9f0/tumblr_o1zl58TsRF1tn6jt3o1_500.jpg
http://56.media.tumblr.com/0449a26debb3c166ad000bcdfa42950d/tumblr_nd8tpuOexd1qz6f9yo8_1280.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbbbeoOzep1r84iplo1_250.gif
OK…last one. And waaaayyyy not 90s, but I don’t care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gg4QZNOAco
http://56.media.tumblr.com/874511cde5f461d5afbad7bdf02d00c1/tumblr_o328n50k6b1qzwqylo1_540.jpg
Surprised coral(?) is surprised.
Think that’s a sponge.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IfWuUVgFSQ
http://www.jerseyshoreinmotion.com/News/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/slaters.jpg?f62128
It’s smiling at me.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/d9f97a6acb3213e91fedfd09ab134d8d/tumblr_mu58wwWATK1sixenao1_500.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/1a5900a2d25c215e314d3b6ab418ff9a/tumblr_o32ytvkLll1qc8b1uo1_250.png