I used to hate Sundays. Work and/or school the next day tends to take away from the enjoyment. For the most part, I still do. Today, though, I’ve enjoyed a full day of doing jack shit, so I’m ready to go back to work.
If anyone wants to get in on the self-loathing, there is a Democratic debate, or so I’ve heard. Have at it, kids!
So, a friend of mine has a group of friends I don’t know well that have roasted each other in celebration of thirty years on earth. My buddy is t last to hit the milestone and asked me to be on the “dais.” Who wants to help me write jokes to make fun of people I don’t know?
I’m in.
I’m totally in. Give us something to work with.
They’re high school friends from California? I’m from the Midwest, I got nothing for the ones I don’t know. All over destroying my buddy.
To the guy with orange skin,
Hey Trump, you call that a dick? I’ve got Vienna sausages in the pantry that can fill out pants better.
I may steal some inspiration from r/roastme.
https://imgur.com/gallery/2GRHH
https://imgur.com/search?q=roastme
So taking his cue from Comedy Central then.
Here’s an oldie. This is from when I was still out in AZ. A Black Necked Stilt (that sounds racist) fishing in one of the canals…..
http://pre14.deviantart.net/5c05/th/pre/f/2014/110/8/1/in_pursuit_of_breakfast_by_wufpacker-d7f9rv1.jpg
You have a great eye.
You are too kind 🙂
I bet the rest of his collection is equally impressive.
I don’t take good photos like Seamus, but I know someone who does.
Also quite lovely.
One of these days I’ll convince some tender young thing to get nekkid in front of me lens. So far, they all run off screaming, but that’s normal, right?
For you, yes.
Hey now, that’s not….
Shit…no arguments. *sigh*
Maybe its’ your soulless, unblinking stare that freaks them out.
I don’t think it’s the lens that scares them so much as the “cinematographer,” three “production assistants,” the twelve industrial-sized rolls of duct tape, life-size Dick Cheney anatomically correct blow-up doll, and the puddle of drool so large it’s legally referred to as a retention pond.
To be fair…in my case I don’t think it’s that complicated.
http://ell.akamai.coub.com/get/bucket:12.21/p/coub/simple/cw_gif_big/ac0ab10beb2/4e1a1cc5e72368afba963/1409458457_1386994912_gw3jd_14q7qyrf.gif
OK, now I’m just lying my ass off I suppose.
A duck having a morning drink (lake wasn’t frozen at this point obviously)
http://pre00.deviantart.net/0b9d/th/pre/f/2015/181/4/9/morning_drink_by_wufpacker-d8zfy8l.jpg
Taking a morning drink, my ass. That duck is puking to get his hangover jump started, maybe catch up with the rest of the ducks already headed south.
OK, this is really the last one. Last July at my mother’s lake house. Sadly, there was no death and destruction associated….
http://pre14.deviantart.net/5082/th/pre/f/2015/186/6/e/soooo___this_happened_today_by_wufpacker-d9044jv.jpg
Tease
Dude, you take some nice photographs.
Kind of you to say.
But the truth is, for ever couple hundred I take, I get one or two which don’t completely suck.
Volume…..that’s the key.
That seems to be true for everything.
I was going to say the same thing. Great pictures!
Why does AMC’s live stream have to be so damned terrible and laggy.
Looks like I’ll just wait until tomorrow to watch it.
The Martians blew up the donut shop!
http://i0.wp.com/doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/donut-1.jpg
Fuckin’ amateurs, Dude.
http://www.memecommunity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/anigif_enhanced-buzz-8696-1365442611-5.gif
And stay the fuck out of Malibu!
Fucking fascist.
I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.
And this is a photo of a Ukrainian couple stabbing Putin in the ass.
Just kidding…..IT’S THE MOON!!!!!
(OK, I’m done with posting my own photo’s….not sure why I went off in that tangent anyway)
http://img07.deviantart.net/eb12/i/2013/344/6/3/narrow_majority_by_wufpacker-d6xidop.jpg
Some cows in the morning sunrise fog trynna figure out WTF I’m doing walking around in their ‘hood.
http://pre04.deviantart.net/da72/th/pre/f/2014/254/f/0/foggy_cow_sunrise_by_wufpacker-d7yrwbq.jpg
“Hey white boy…what you doin’ uptown?”
I’m just looking for a bovine friend of mine.
“Where da white heifers at?”
Leave those women alone, they’re just trying to walk off the baby weig- – oh. You mean actual cows. Sorry bout that.
yeah right inspired a trip down the Peter Sellers rabbit hole. He was brilliant.
NOT NOW CATO!!!!!
Pair of Canada Geese trynna figure out what the hell happened to the lake. It was there yesterday…
http://pre01.deviantart.net/ace5/th/pre/f/2015/052/a/6/da_fuq____by_wufpacker-d8iylt9.jpg
Mmmmmm, mountain time. This should be a fun week on the open threads.
Testing to see if this works. I think the image size is too big, but we’ll see….
http://pre10.deviantart.net/ce1d/th/pre/f/2015/285/2/5/calming_by_wufpacker-d9cun9o.jpg
Gorgeous!
Thank you 🙂
Oh…yay.
This is from this past October at Emerald Isle, NC. The family went down that weekend to observe my Pop’s last wishes to scatter his ashes (along with his favorite dog’s ashes…yes seriously) on the beach. My folks used to have a house at this spot.
http://www.sharegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Dr-Strangelove-quotes-2.gif
My favorite scene in Casino Royale is coming up:
http://www.lasplash.com/uploads//1/casino_royale_3.jpg
Wrong boobs got exposed.
That dress was amazing, tho
Hey, living in the country has its joys.
I just woke up from a nap a little while ago and staggered (sort of) into the bathroom to take a leak. I look down and….WTF?????
FWIW, that is an immature squirrel drowned in my goddamned toilet. Dunno if he was in the house and went for a swim without his squirrel water wings, or got in the system and came up thru the pipes. Either scenario seems equally implausible. But the fucker was in there, so one of them had to happen.
Though to be honest, I had noticed that the toilet wasn’t flushing very well the past couple days, so that’s the way I’m leaning.
While still half asleep, I thought I’d taken the mother of all shits before my nap.
(This photo is hosted on imgur, so it will disappear soon)
http://i.imgur.com/MWSz5Fn.jpg
This week’s installment of KILL! KILL! KILL! features animal suicide.
Dead baby squirrel or giant turd? Yeah…not gonna click through on this one.
My turds are sometimes that big, but not nearly so fuzzy. And they almost never have whiskers.
There’s a Richard Gere joke here, but since it’s MY toilet I am steering clear.
And it’s gone….I gotta start uploading my personal photos somewhere other than imgur I guess.
My artsy fartsy ones I display elsewhere….but I don’t think a dead squirrel in my toilet qualifies as art.
Probably.
I’m sure it would in Germany.
Here’s the another thing about FTWD: the first season was six episodes. The seasons two and three (!!) are going to be 13 episodes each. They already plowed through anything that I feel could have added any substance or context. How could this not become another TWD?
Better Call Saul works so well, because it’s entirely different from Breaking Bad. Yeah, the characters are the same, and we even know their ultimate fates. But, watching and seeing how they develop into the characters they become is the essential part. FTWD isn’t in that same time zone.
Oooh Mars attacks is on.
Is Fear the Walking Dead going to become the regular Walking Dead, just in California? Guh. I had such high hopes.
Let that be a lesson, kids. Never get excited for anything.
See Dexter Season Six!
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/dexter/images/0/0b/Season_6.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120110020009
That series is so bad.
Yep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haUnOekLbp0
Paul Stanton!
I liked how FTWD started out, because the main thing I wanted and didn’t get from the original recipe was a document of how the whole thing started. But it went kind of downhill after that, especially with the hot ex-wife dying.
This is pretty much how I feel. I was really hoping (and expecting) it to take it slower, show it spreading, and society falling apart. They skipped through that in an episode and a half.
They did. And I wanted to know more about what happened to that kid in the school with the knife who seemed to know what was up.
Apparently, he’s going to be in a few episodes this coming season.
Too little, too late.
Czech:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/297/18479639868_ef46bd4c81.jpg
Czech her out!
[is pelted with rocks and roadkill]
http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/sideboob-plus-bonus-underboob-t-shirt.gif
Yum.
http://113.imagebam.com/download/Ry4Ve0eZknfVXTmgTUrjjA/47003/470025416/anne-hathaway-legs-hd-1920×1200-1.jpg
I’ve sat through that stupid Havoc movie more times than I care to admit because of her.
Have I mentioned before that I absolutely LOVE Bob’s Burgers?
Hey, do any of you like fish sticks?
I do not even though I’m a gay fish.
I’M AFRAID YOU CAN’T DO THAT BALLS
http://cdn.straightfromthea.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/kanye-gayfish-425×310.jpg
I MEAN
So?
http://cdn.straightfromthea.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/kanye-gayfish-425×310.jpg
I’m a muthafuckin gay fish.
BCS in 7
What’s that?
BACK TO THE PAST
http://bcsknowhow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/bcs_logo.jpg
When is it OK for me to admit that I thought Better Call Saul was on tonight for some reason?
Please advise.
Oh, brother. I forgot it was on. I still haven’t gotten a chance to catch up on this season yet.
You really need to do so.
Best current show on TV.
I didn’t know that Bob Odenkirk had it in him to carry an entire series but he does.
Oh, I know. It’s also the best legal series I’ve ever seen.
Great side boob
http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/image/upload/c_fill,h_608,w_425/t_mp_quality/sideboob-anne-hathaway-top-10-greatest-celebrity-side-boob-moments-jpeg-245022.jpg
I don’t understand why she’s so hated. She’s fucking gorgeous.
People are stupid is why.
Yeah, that seems plausible.
I think people who hate Anne Hathaway do it because she’s an unrepentant striver. It’s the same reason a lot of people hate Hillary Clinton. They’re both Tracy Flick.
She was fucking amazing in Les Mis and I ain’t scared to admit it.
Whole boob. http://imgur.com/r/celebs/W5B4mXP
Very nice.
BCS IN 13
MONORAIL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM
Walking Dead taking it up to eleven again.
Front boob:
http://www.spulpgirls.com/images/foto/donne-con-il-top-esagerato/Top_heavy_women_01.jpg
“Who Is The REAL Ted Cruz?” is trending on Twitter. It’s beautiful watching the feeding frenzy.
I believe he’s the full grown version of the troll from Cat’s Eye.
Ooooooo does that mean we can shove him into a giant fan after he loses the election?!
I am unaware on any time frame requirement for this action.
Well, I want his humiliation to be complete.
I’m pretty sure we already settled this. He’s the Zodiac Killer.
That’s not a negative quality in the eyes of many Republicans.
“I support fracking except when it reflects poorly on anyone who supports it” – Hillary Clinton
The only reason for me to vote for Hillary this November is that Bernie has no chance to be there and the Republican field is full of crazy people.
hey guys
http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/even-kittens-need-a-bounce-break.gif
Yo
hey
GENTLEMEN! SILL IS HERE!
FGCU wins the A-Sun Tournament, back in the Big Dance for the first time since 2013. They went to the Sweet Sixteen that year.
If they start knocking out trendy picks with half court alley-oops again, I’ll send my kid there.
(Watches the new M&M commercial)
WHY IS ALOE BLACC SINGING THE CANDY MAN?!?
Wait….
WHY IS ALOE BLACC STILL RELEVANT?!?!?
Why was Aloe Blacc ever relevant in the first place?
He was clearly the Simon to Lanolin’s Garfunkel.
Better question: why are the m&ms constantly getting naked?
The rare over AND side boob!
http://www.spulpgirls.com/images/foto/donne-con-il-top-esagerato/Top_heavy_women_16.jpg
Mismatched sheets. Would not bang.
Also, because I don’t want this one getting lost between open threads:
http://www.chato.blog.br/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/decote_peituda_seios_021.jpg
She seems like a charming lady.
I like to think she’s reaching up to scratch my beard. And then reaching down to scra— never mind. COLD SHOWER TIME
http://mattforney.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/coldshowergirl.jpg
Lana. Lana! LANAAAAAAAA!!!!!
http://www.spulpgirls.com/images/foto/donne-con-il-top-esagerato/Top_heavy_women_30.gif
I love his expression.
Hillary disrespecting Avenue Q is the low point of the night.
Why I Like Short Women With Large Breasts, Reason No. 2:
The view:
http://www.spulpgirls.com/images/foto/donne-con-il-top-esagerato/Top_heavy_women_03.jpg
Ha ha! That’s awesome! Great points.
That may be why I love underboob so much.
http://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/mustangforums.com-vbulletin/576×432/80-underboob_1b8bcacae0d18696335abf5c19b1fd027d11f15b.jpg
Now THAT is a great image.
Underboob is a very under-appreciated boob.
Agreed. It’s one of my top four favorite boob views, the others being over, side, and front. Behind boob, while decent, kind of gets lost in the shuffle of above ass, side-ass, under-ass, and grabass.
I feel we need to explore this topic further.
It is the Open thread of the evening, so why not?
Side boob!
http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/katy-perry-side-boob.jpg
Technically, front inside boob, no?
I did a GIS for “side boob,” and Personal Favorite Katy Perry came up. I do not care if it’s a technicality, I will take it.
Oh, hey. That’s Stannis in Spy Game.
Are we sure it’s a good idea to be discussing guns and then showing us Don Lemon’s face?
I wonder how many TVs get shot every time a gun question comes up in a Democratic debate. I just imagine a wide array of floor model CRTs getting a table cloth cover every time Hillary Clinton speaks.
http://i.imgur.com/h7qrbma.gif
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/078/169/245.gif
http://113.imagebam.com/download/ezxS1VQqZqy32qbvaPg0MQ/47002/470018847/308757.jpg
Did anyone say goth?
I would very much like to stand behind her and block the sun for her, so her white, delicate skin does not get harmed, because I am a gentleman, damn you.
And then I would like to demonstrate all the many, many ways in which I am not a gentleman.
“Behind her” is the key phrase here.
Yes. Yes it is.
CNN has a special tonight on the 1960 debate between Kennedy and Nixon. That reminds me of the Simpsons’ spoof of it:
http://i.imgur.com/rpCiGkc.png
Classic line. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_3H0K-zwc8
Better quality video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm6GiHomqG4
Imgur sucks. Well, them or us, but I’m going to go with them.
It does. I’ve found that if I click on the broken image symbol and open it in a new/window tab, I can view it.
It’s very weird. Once I do that, the image shows up here on the site, but then it goes away. PK weird.
I have to do the same thing, which is just bizarre.
They just made The List.
The man never drank a Duff in his life.
I’d like to thank the Rangers and the Devils for being fucking useless tonight. How hard is it to not give up 6 to Pittsburgh?
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwnztujYt81r4mekxo2_250.gif
Evening. Pay no attention to the large sharp objects behind her back.
http://orig04.deviantart.net/4ac5/f/2015/102/f/1/untitled_by_darthsandr-d8pjdm7.png
Goth Michonne?
Sure, why not? Although I’d rather wander the wastelands with this chick than Michonne. Dreads always stink after a while.
http://105.imagebam.com/download/F9FumCJdoua1ll6sTwYmPQ/46917/469168383/Hannah-Ferguson-topless-naked-nude_15.jpg
She seems like a very pleasant lady.
Indeed. http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/tt4p4ic4drro3sg5ilpogrmri6q6f568
Oh my!
Dude, that is just incredible.
This is as close as I’m getting to sunshine.
Ultimate Lazy Sunday dinner:
Chicken nuggets and fries in the oven. EMBRACE THE SLOTH.
[is horrifically murdered with an ironic twist by John Doe]
There is a 100% chance that your children will enjoy that more than spending 4 hours making a gourmet dinner.
I did the ultimate sloth dinner. I actually spent four hours in the kitchen making a gourmet dinner, then I had dinner and then I started to nod off on the couch.
Time to wake up for more drinks.
DRINKS!
So, which one are we using?
There is two?
I assumed we were using the other thread.
I wanted to keep that one beer-centered.