Basketball Coma Methadone – Saturday Shakes Edition

Only 8 games today. It’s like being behing the Iron Curtain, da, comrades? Anyway, CBS even gets all crafty, trying to sneak their “white kids doing it THE RIGHT WAY” suckoff into the middle of the deck. I call your fucking bluff, and still plan to read or take a nap. GO FUCK YOURSELF, ALL PARTIES INVOLVED.

11(T)S Wichita State vs. 3S Miami (12:15, CBS)

Whatever you do, don’t get your hopes up for a work of art. But do expect some solid PG play, and old school inside/out action. Gregg Marshall is an asshole (the extra “g” is a dead giveaway), but I’m glad one of these teams will make the Sweet Sixteen, as an interesting style contrast. And with the cousinfuckers in the dustbin (pours one out for WCS), Miami may be my favourite non-hopeless side left. That’s fucking sad, but true.

12W Yale vs. 4W Duke (2:45, CBS)

Just eat shit and die. Cold, alone, and unloved. Sacks of human excrement.

5E Indiana vs. 4E Kentucky (5:15, CBS)

I really enjoy the thought of how many drunken fistfights there will be over this game. Especially amongst peeps that have never been within spitting distance of either campus. If you haven’t read “Donnybrook” by Frank Bill…you really need to get off your ass and do so.

12MW Arkansas-Little Rock vs. 4MW Iowa State (6:10, TNT)

Finally, we get a channel flipping option! I really am looking forward to this game, too. If the Trojans pressure the Cyclones, this could turn into a wild, high-scoring affair. Fun basketball is fun. Iowa State has the weight of the Big 12 on its shoulders, because FUCK KANSAS.

9MW Butler vs. 1MW Virginia (7:10, TBS)

Tony Bennett had to have the world’s biggest shit-eating grin after Middle Tennessee knocked off his White Whale yesterday. And he doesn’t even have to worry about keeping his team focused, because Butler is shit.

9S UConn vs. 1S Kansas (7:45, CBS)

Two memes, only one can survive. Kansas the 800-pound gorilla, UConn the March savant. The Huskies certainly have the athleticism to make things interesting, and I sure as fuck hope they do.

11MW Gonzaga vs. 3MW Utah (8:40, TNT)

Indeed, the Zags finally lowered expectations enough that they could just play ball again. And they ran emotionally spent Seton Hall off the floor. Now they get the polite young men of Utah, who bear the weight of the Pac 12 on their shoulders, because FUCK OREGON. This should be fluid offensive basketball, and thusly pretty good teevee.

9E Providence vs. 1E U*NC (9:40, TBS)

Have I mentioned before that I fucking hate U*NC? Well, fuck you, I’m gonna mention it again. These shitstains on Satan’s bathhouse floor deserve every bit of seething rage I can throw at them and then some. Unless the Friars are whipping their sorry asses, I will go to bed after the Utes/Zags game ends, because I will NOT let a Hole win be the way I end my fucking Saturday. Hurry up and come around to bite, Karma…

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit…reply fail grandios. This was ‘sposed to be on Balls’ thread.

Unsurprised

It fits. Like a white woman.

ballsofsteelandfury

These ladies need to go on the other thread. We’re lonely over there…

Horatio Cornblower

What has two thumbs and moved up to 3rd place in the DFO bracket contest?

Balls of Steel. I only have one thumb. It was a trick question.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What has two thumbs up its ass and has moved up to a tie for 27th?
Not a trick question…it’s me.
/smells thumbs….mmmmm…minty.

ballsofsteelandfury

I created a new Open Thread post devoted to non-NCAA random musings. Please head there at your own peril.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fack you U*NC. I’m parked in the PNC parking lot next to your bus….(I got passes to this place assholes…I HELPED PAY FOR IT!!!!!). U R NOT SAFE.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/2c7f73101538d9eaf0a4b891b6ba1e45/tumblr_mrnmosP63P1s5b5eso2_r1_500.gif
(my carolina hatred might be becoming a problem)

Unsurprised

This works better as a still jpeg.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Roy Williams: Hugging big sweaty black guys since 1981.

Sill Bimmons

Well that all pretty much sucked.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Providence Cheerleader summer camp
/probably not really true
http://file.3bomb.com/image/3f7/4127e2268e3b793a0e89fa3ff38ec4f2.gif

ballsofsteelandfury

I saw it as it was happening and I still exclaimed, “OH!” when it happened.

Unsurprised

What did I miss? There’s nothing about Providence cheerleaders on Twitter.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was just my really stupid relatingzness about Providence’s 2nd half derp.
I iz not very kreaytiv tonight.
FUCK YOU CAROLINA!!!!
(wow…I’ve really got a problem)

Unsurprised

Cool. As long as I didn’t miss any good DERP.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dear ALXMAC,

For some reason the system classified your comment as Spam. Considering that your comment had to do with meat, that makes sense but since the system is not sentient (yet!) and/or has a sense of humor that is weird. Maybe not PK weird, but weird nonetheless. In any case, I’ve taken it out of spam and approved it and it is now there to bask in its glory

I’m Balls, rush chairman, damn glad to meet you!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor???????????

ALXMAC
WCS

It’s best not to ask how youtube embeds work. Not even God knows.

ballsofsteelandfury

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pssssstt….be nice to WCS.
He really DOES know how the embeds work, but he won’t tell.
And….don’t trust whitey.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, you both shot off at the same time.
Errrr….what did I just say?

ballsofsteelandfury

Honestly, I know it embeds when I do it, but I have no idea where that power came from. A lot of times, if it’s not overtly obvious, I’m a monkey with a typewriter here.

WCS

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“Blurst” of times?! You stoopid monkey!

ALXMAC

Yeah I’ve seen the confusion there; usually if someone that knows how to they repost it properly. Thank you both for doing that thing you did.

ALXMAC

Probably didn’t help that I had 19 tabs of porn open at the same time. But hey, if yer online yer probably compromised anyway, amirite?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You had me at “19 tabs of porn”.

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Incidentally ALXMAC, they just keep me around for Coffee runs and to sweep the floors. They don’t trust me with any actual power….which is smart.
You should probably distance yourself from me.
But nice to have you aboard anyway.

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty happy that UCONN won the second half!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am REALLY hoping that’s a champagne bottle.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Come on Friars?!?!? What the hell, man???

WCS

Their shooting has gone from “plaid” to “West Virginia.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really gotta look into this whole “Hot Yoga” thing…
http://likegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/01/100-funny-girl-gifs-5.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus
Wakezilla

They were even less clothes than that, which is great. Sadly, the women who look like that go to women’s only Bikram yoga.

WCS

Friggin’ Gonzaga…

rockingdog

cancelled dinner with a girl I matched with on tinder to stay in and watch basketball.
lets go Warriors.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m sorry but we are going to need a little more detail than that. Did she have the crazy eyes in her Tinder picture? What was the problem?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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rockingdog

Damn. Shit game. Warriors lost.
Great defense by Los Spurs; No Bogut, Iggy or Ezeli for the Warriors.
Only scored 14pts in the 4th quarter, can’t win games doing that.
And Tim Duncan only played 8 minutes? Wait what? Shit.

hahaha The Cavs lost to D-Wade and The Heat.

JustStopDude

My coworker had an insane experience with a crazy woman he met on tinder.

She showed up at his parents’ place in Colorado to check up on him when he was on vacation.

This was after one date…oh and she drove from western Virginia to do this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whoa.

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like she was more tenacious than the WVU defense last night.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Donners would be proud of this massive white meat consumption. Buh bye Utes.

ALXMAC

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ALXMAC

….and there it is. Not as funny 45 mins after I posted it but still.

ALXMAC

So whoever deleted/disapproved my .jpg to this: I’m new here (although I joined last summer, I don’t comment much but read/like a lot). Did I format it wrong? Is cannibalism not kosher? Inquiring me wants to know.

WCS

Best as I can determine, it’s up to whomever wrote the post to approve pics when that happens. Ask Hippo to approve it.

ALXMAC

Thank you for the response WCS. Do you know how to properly format a JPG post? I’m pretty sure that was the issue (and not the kontent).

ballsofsteelandfury

Sometimes the system automatically selects some comments for authorization before posting.

For pictures, all picture addresses ending in jpg, png, and gif will post automatically. All capitalized endings like JPG and PNG will not post and anything ending in jpeg will not post either.

I have no idea why that is, but all I can say is that it’s not anything personal against you. Welcome to DFO! Damn glad to have you here!

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WCS

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ALXMAC

Yeah buddy!! Thank you for the detailed response bos&f. When I 1st joined (as did many after that “other” site shut down) I thought every comment had to be approved by an admin/article poster.

JustStopDude

So Barbershop 3 huh?

NWA did not age well…

JustStopDude

Oh shit…the GS=SA game is on ABC…

It seems like I can never actually get to see the fucking Warriors play…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wooo…UK lost while I was asleepin’.
Bonus.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude…I’m still half asleep and not even drunk yet. Please do not expect goodly reezuhnings from me quite yet.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have they at least shown our 33 and 42 year old Nat’l Champs banners yet?
Either answer will depress me, FWIW.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s milkshakes?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wooo!!!! Great Nap!!! Plus U*NC losing.
Time to drank!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

/checks to see if I’m still on top of Zymm
WOOOOO….#32 BABY….ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

“10 Years Later, ‘V for Vendetta’ Remains Tremendously Influential to Blockbuster Cinema.”

I weep for the death of art.

JustStopDude

God…talk about an overrated film. The only film that neckbearded losers quote more is “Fight Club” which is really fucking hilarious because the entire book is mocking hyper masculinity and exists to expose a male audience to feminist theory.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The first rule of Fight Club is….HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(still never get tired of the music)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ut52Szpd-w

Wakezilla

My conference speach was slightly above cromulent. Now I’m stuck waiting for the Ferry–the boat, Aaron Rogers– ans won’t be home until 10.

So, how was March Madness?

Gratliff

I get that they marketed the Punisher in the new season of Daredevil to build hype, but it really killed the suspense of the first episode

Unsurprised

That’s not the only thing that got killed.

Wakezilla

I won’t be able to watch this until at least next Sunday. Is season 2 as predictable as season 1?

Unsurprised

I stopped watching after episode 5, but yes. Though I did skip ahead to the beginning of episode 11 or 12 to watch the opening fight scene based on the title image.

Unsurprised

The Daredevil s2e3 five-minute long, single-shot stairwell fight. https://youtu.be/Q0CvkiPS5Ks

ThePirateSloth

Nope nope nope. Not gonna watch that until I finish season one

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
Unsurprised

Batman sucks. Long live Catman.
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Wakezilla

Frank Miller’s Batman is a shitty hero.

#strongtaek

Unsurprised

Strong, but correct.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is the kinda shit my cat does EVERY DAY.
YOU ARE NOT COOL WHEN YOU THAT SHIT, YOU ASSHOLE CAT.

JustStopDude

I want to meet the asshole who examined the entire character history of Lex Luthor and deemed the movie going public was pining for an annoying, autistic version of the character.
http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/batman-vs-superman-ew.jpg

SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!

Unsurprised

I wish Gene Hackman hadn’t retired.

Unsurprised

More realistic than Daredevil. Not that it’s a bad thing, but some of the punches are just insultingly fake.

Moonbatting Average

So Kousinfucky ruined my bracket, what to do? The Big Short is available to rent on Amazon, you say? Well, I know what I’ll be doing for a couple hours

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

You ordered Indian food again?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am continuing my not watching any games other than the one WI game yesterday, but I was driving during the end of the Kentucky game and my radio is always tuned to sports so I heard the end of it and it made me smile when they lost. Back to Daredevil

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

.gif or it didn’t happen

Spanky Datass

Here’s a jpgcomment image The only place I found the gif was at http://thebiglead.com/2016/03/19/kentucky-tears-are-flowing-as-indiana-eliminates-wildcats-from-ncaa-tournament/ but couldn’t extract it.

laserguru

Spent half the day buying a new phone. I’m up to the Galaxy S7 mofos!
It’s nice to have current technology even if it will be outdated by next week.

ThePirateSloth

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ballsofsteelandfury

Wooo!! I’m supposed to get the Galaxy 7 Edge next week from work!

laserguru

It is Little Rock after all.