Congratulations! You made it here! On a weekday no less! This realistically means that you are either an insomniac
a huge AFL fan
or you’re lost. Either way, welcome!
Today’s/Tonight’s/This morning’s Opening Day match features the Richmond Tigers taking on the Carlton Blues. Even though Richmond made finals last year and the Blues ended up with the Wooden Spoon, it should be a lot closer than expected. Maybe some of Hippo’s Donks magic will rub off on the Blues.
Enough with the pre-game show. Every one grab your Captain Carlton Pillow Pet
and get with the gifs, pics, and sterling commentary!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/9543c28db030ed47d02e5a5079120ccd/tumblr_mq079muwKL1rqi05bo1_1280.jpg
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/17/article-2525253-1A298F8700000578-342_634x365.jpg
RICHMOND AT SIXES AND SEVENS HERE
That was a horrible kick by Richmond.
This really is a stupid game.
It’s fun as hell to watch, but it’s so fucking stupid.
It’s the Pacific Rim of sport.
Bad idea.
http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2013/gallery/justin-timberlake/justin-timberlake-09-435.jpg
Just got a quick rundown of the rules. I will get details wrong but I got the basics down.
Hooked it.
Carlton really should be further ahead, but their kicking is letting them down.
Gotta love a bikini red carpet
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/07/16/article-0-1405215F000005DC-677_634x898.jpg
Local color:
Autism isn’t a thing.
“Rugby” league is horrible and you should ignore all the ads you’re seeing for this “rugby” right now.
It’s not real rugby and it is played by people who make Ray Lewis look like Mother Teresa.
Getting all the local commercials on this radio stream. Awesome.
What are they advertising? Auntie Beth’s Authentic Aussie Pies?
Carlton 28, Richmond 25 after one quarter.
Moving on to blondes
My DVR box is rebooting again WOO
Seriously, I’d move all of my life’s chucklefuckery to Oz if I could.
It’s only just the best place ever.
This was around the corner from my house.
http://simonhampel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/20090719-40D_4664.jpg
That’s gorgeous.
Carlton takes the lead! Hippo takes a pill!
I need to work out again
HIGH KICKIN’
HIGH SCORIN’
AND TIES?
NOT A CHANCE!
I think we did have ONE tie last year. I’ll have to check…
Wasn’t there a Grand Final that ended in a tie? I think they had to play a whole new game a week later. Crazy.
That did happen.
St. Kilda v Geelong. Poor St. Kilda!
DAMN
THAT was a great mark.
Jesus, Carlton! Suck some more at kicking!
Tight kick.
Carlton has a good shot if they can improve their kicking accuracy.
MALOO
http://carbonfibrevinylwrap.net.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Matte-HSV-Maloo.jpg
The Aussie El Camino. I wish we had those here.
“Maloo” means “thunder” in Kur-ring-gai.
This one is for JerBear:
I gladly accept.
Seriously, Melbourne does suck.
It’s why they’re jealous of a bridge and a theatre.
Melbourne the city or the team? Cuz I REALLY hate the team.
Always loved how like half of the league is in one city and they all hate each other.
The city.
Dreary, trolley-dodging boredom.
I have no idea what the rules are here. I am trying to learn on the fly. I will cheat and look them up at halftime so I know what I am watching.
Catching kicks on the fly is the most important skill in the game.
An easy one is that if you get tackled, you have to give up the ball or the other team gets the ball with a free kick.
http://s3media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/748/515/515748.jpg
Fuckin’ A.
Fabulous sequence by Richmond there.
They’ve really taken control after Carlton started off well.
This one is for you, MTWV:
Just turned on the official site’s radio stream of the game. Good to have AFL back.
I had no idea they did radio too. Is that free?
It is. I just clicked the “Listen Live” button on the live stats page (aka “Match Centre”).
Sweet!
Nice mark.
Don’t think I’m going to be long for this thing if nobody shows up.
MTWV is here!
Figuratively speaking.
I’m just skulking around here because I’m stuck at work, but I have no way to watch the game.
My DVR box chose this opportune moment to reboot.
It couldn’t handle Carlton actually playing well.
Shouldn’t you be able to schedule that kind of shit these days?
Whatever time the show is on that most want to see in a given week seems to be the set schedule for mine. Right in the fucking middle of it, every single time.
The Commentistiat a couple weeks ago:
The Commentistiat now:
http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2008/06/27/va1237316158961/empty-anz-stadium-6115625.jpg
I’m here. I fall into the insomniac or lost category. Snow day tomorrow so I don’t have to drive someone to school so I am staying up late doing nothing so I turned the game on.
Sweet! Welcome!
WE’RE OFF!
Looks like the crowd is filling in a little. The MCG is fucking huge.
NRL is the filth of the planet.
Balls RN
http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z261/TheAceRock/RandyMarshJizz.jpg
Taking the dog out, and going to bed. ENJOY your kicky games.
Wait, you’re going to bed NOW?
It’s like a big Texas high school Thursday nighter.
God bless ’em.
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SO MUCH BOYFLESH
http://www.reviewjournal.com/sites/default/files/field/media/5699139.jpg
Where is everybody?
I’m guessing asleep like normal people?
Although WhyEaglesWhy has no excuse.
No, I mean in the ground.
Looks pretty empty yet.
Well, it IS Carlton v Richmond. Not exactly a marquee matchup…
It’s Opening Night, right?
As promised, Moar Butt Cleavage!
The fuck am I doing here?
You are a crazy person just like me.
Fuck you.
it’s 4 AM here.
Hey, it’s 1 here. At least you can have breakfast soon.
http://assets.skiptomylou.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/wpid-Photo-Aug-29-2012-344-PM.jpg
Bagel shop across the street is going to be Nirvana at 7:00.
WOOOOOOOOO
/is half asleep
OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!