blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Sill Bimmons

Garry Shandling and Johan Cruyff died today.

Two genuine innovators who revolutionized their respective endeavors.

JerBear50

Man, who would have bet that Artie would outlive Larry?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Alcohol cannot melt steel beams but it can melt your liver.

Wakezilla

I’m on my lunch break and just has to share these creepy stories. I’m teaching a spring break Shakespeare boot camp and I told them i was having a girl. Two of the girls wanted to give me advice.

Advice 1 was to not have cameras placed throughout the house to spy on the daughter when you’re not home.

Advixe 2 was to not hug your daughter for a long time and everytime you see her because she can forget to do stuff. And definitely not hug her for so long that she doesn’t have enough time to do her homework. …..

My heart goes out to these kids.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I, uh, I have to go throw up now.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Degrassi Stasi

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Manziel signing with Rosenhaus doesn’t appear on the DFO breaking news scroll, did it really happen?

jjfozz

Is there a scroll – or is it a joke? If there’s a scroll where in fuck is it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently it’s Cleveland Browns week here at DFO.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They really do have a considerable amount of offseason experience.

Beerguyrob

Then why am I so happy?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Because you aren’t a Cleveland fan?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…
If you’re happy and…

Oh. You’re not happy. That’s understandable.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

They’re called the “Jets” now, Blax.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

New head coach, new front office, #2 pick in the draft…yeah, you don’t get more rebuild-y than that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*rebuildierist.

Don T

Temple needs mixed drinks like that.
-Bill Cosby

I almost choked on rice with the Carroll numerology.

ballsofsteelandfury

Damn, somebody has some Photoshop skills!

The last one killed me. Great job!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I laughed out loud at the XXXX McXXX one.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yeah! My shoddy Photoshop skills and blatant disregard for company time are all I have!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Company time” is the reason given for why little Timmy got sent to his room when mommy’s new boyfriend Bill came over to visit.

ballsofsteelandfury

The others were great too. The outline of the lamp shade just cracked me up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes!”

– me, upon seeing a new episode of Serial posted.