Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 11

Once again, apologies for posting the AFL Beat later than usual.  I really need to get a spare key made for the DFO Clubhouse…

This week, to make up for last week, we meet not one but TWO AFL footballers, we review this week’s results, and we look at where we are at roughly the halfway mark through the season.  There is a lot to cover.  Let’s get started.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

For the last two weeks, we had been treated to some really good Friday Night Footy (Friday morning here in North America) matchup.   The matchup between the North Melbourne Kangaroos and the Richmond Tigers would have been promising if the Tigers had bothered to show up. The Kangaroos thoroughly dominated them throughout and ended up with a resounding 124-54 victory (one off!).  Here, North’s Brent “Boomer” Harvey scores his 500th goal in his 420th (he he) game:

Earlier, Shaun Atley scored a goal from an impossible angle:

On proper Friday Night, the slate of five games began with an expected victory of the Hawthorn Hawks over the Melbourne Demons.  It certainly did not come easy as the Demons played exceedingly well throughout and only faded away at the very end. The final margin was 18, but this was a game that was tied midway through the fourth.  If the Demons can figure out a way to maintain excellence through the finish, they will be a very tough team to face.  Emerging superstar Jesse Hogan had a fuckup for the highlight reel but at least the Demons scored on the play:

At roughly the same time, the resurgent Carlton Blues were thoroughly thrashing the Brisbane Lions. The final margin was 38, but it could have been a lot more if Brisbane hadn’t come back with some scores late in the fourth. Here, the Blues’ pressure leads to a goal:

On the bright side for the Lions, newbie Jarrad Jansen scored in his AFL debut:

Later that night, the eagerly-awaited (by me and theeWeeBabySeamus) return of Stevie J and his GWS Giants to Simonds Stadium in Geelong took place.  The Cats were looking for a little revenge after losing the first matchup with GWS in Canberra earlier this year and were also keen to stop a two-game losing streak.  I was too fucking tired from the work week to stay up and watch, but I was happy to wake up to my phone showing a 98-88 Cats win!  Things didn’t look good in the beginning as Stevie J scored early,

but the Cats took over late and pulled away for the win

In the first of the two late late games, the Sydney Swans had a bit more trouble than expected against the hapless Gold Coast Suns.  Of course, the weather had something to do with it as it was dripping wet good times (phrasing)

I don’t know about you, but I fucking LOVED playing in the rain when I was young.  Still do.

In the last game of the night, the Fremantle Dockers hosted the Essendon Bombers in a valiant effort to get away from the Wooden Spoon.  No one can say that the Dockers are tanking after a 79 point win. Why is Essendon so bad?  This should give you a clue:

***

This

is not a mirrored image of the same person.  It is a picture of twin brothers Brad and Chris Scott, former AFL players and current coaches of the league-leading North Melbourne Kangaroos and #3 Geelong Cats, respectively.  Can you tell which is which?  Maybe this will help:

There is a fun article here sharing fun facts about the two brothers. My favorite line is that they were they first ever AFL coaches to share a womb. I’d like to see that description given to Rex and Rob

God knows the mess these two left when they exited that womb.

Both brothers were successful AFL players and won two championships while playing together for the Brisbane Bears (the forebears, I’m sorry, of the Brisbane Lions).  This interview here, with a former teammate of both, shows the differences between the two.  Their life story is pretty fascinating, specially considering that their dad died while they were 8 and their mom raised them and their three siblings all alone.  At some point, it will probably become a movie.  If you get a chance to watch the Geelong-North Melbourne game this weekend, I’m sure the broadcast will have at least one feature about them.  I encourage you to watch.

Incidentally, the record when the two brothers’ teams meet?  Big brother Chris (by three minutes) is looking to even up the slate this weekend with a Geelong win.  Brad holds a 5-4 in head to head matchups including one win in a finals matchup.

Now, can you tell which Scott is which?  The answer is that Chris Scott is on the right side of both pictures.

***

Saturday night brought three more games.  The first was a highly anticipated matchup between the Collingwood Magpies and the Port Adelaide Power.  Unfortunately for the Pies, recent injuries have really taken their toll on the squad and it showed in the scoreboard.  The Power blew them out at the MCG to the tune of 125-58.  They scored goals early

and often

The best of the round was the battle of the West with the Western Bulldogs hosting the West Coast Eagles.  One of the major knocks against the Eagles is that they struggle to win away from home.  They did nothing to convince their detractors as they fought hard but ultimately succumbed to the Doggies by 8.  This is a beautiful curve goal from Jake Stringer:

The Eagles would try to come back with some great effort

but would ultimately come up short.

The last game of the Round had Adelaide hosting and kicking the crap out of the St. Kilda Saints by a score of 133-45.  Geez, Saints!  Miss Fisher puts up more of an effort to stay out of people’s beds than you do to get goals.

Young Jade Gresham kicked a nice goal early

but it wouldn’t be an Adelaide recap without an Eddie Betts highlight:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

PLACE TEAM G W T L % POINTS
1 North Melbourne Kangaroos 11 10 0 1 130.80 40
2 Sydney Swans 11 9 0 2 146.50 36
3 Geelong Cats 11 8 0 3 138.80 32
4 Western Bulldogs 11 8 0 3 132.00 32
5 Hawthorn Hawks 11 8 0 3 108.90 32
6 GWS Giants 11 7 0 4 133.30 28
7 West Coast Eagles 11 7 0 4 133.00 28
8 Adelaide Crows 11 7 0 4 127.10 28
9 Port Adelaide Power 11 6 0 5 111.70 24
10 Carlton Blues 11 6 0 5 86.20 24
11 Melbourne Demons 11 5 0 6 105.10 20
12 Collingwood Magpies 11 4 0 7 87.30 16
13 St Kilda Saints 11 4 0 7 82.80 16
14 Richmond Tigers 11 4 0 7 81.80 16
15 Gold Coast Suns 11 3 0 8 69.60 12
16 Fremantle Dockers 11 1 0 10 77.10 4
17 Brisbane Lions 11 1 0 10 62.40 4
18 Essendon Bombers 11 1 0 10 57.60 4

Fremantle is no longer the leader for the Wooden Spoon!!   See, yeah right?  I wouldn’t lead you astray!

As for the rest of the teams, what can we really say?  We can say that Essendon will still most likely be the Wooden Spoon winner with the Brisbane Lions giving them a run for their money.  We can say that the Gold Coast Suns and the Fremantle Dockers are now in the mode of developing young players so as to do better next year.  We can say that the six teams right outside the eight still have a shot at finals, but we can also say that they need to start getting their shit together soon.  Finally, we can say that the pack that currently makes up the top eight is a group of damn good teams that can beat any other team in the competition on any given weekend. It’s going to be a wide open finals, I believe, with any of those eight having a very good chance at winning the championship.

Let’s take a look at the schedule for Round 12:

Friday June 10

Essendon v Hawthorn at Etihad Stadium (2.50 AM) (LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus!)

Port Adelaide v Western Bulldogs at Adelaide Oval (8.40pm) (LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus and TSN2!)

Brisbane Lions v Fremantle at Gabba (11.35pm)

Saturday June 11

Geelong v North Melbourne at Etihad Stadium (2.25 AM) (LIVE on Fox Sports 2!)

West Coast Eagles v Adelaide Subiaco Oval (2.40 AM)

St Kilda v Carlton at Etihad Stadium (8.10pm)

Richmond v Gold Coast Suns at MCG (10.20pm)

GWS Giants v Sydney Swans at Spotless Stadium (11.40pm) (LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus!)

Sunday June 12

Melbourne v Collingwood at MCG (10.20pm) (BONUS SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTY LIVE on Fox Sports 1!)

We’ve got some great games on tap this week and a lot of TV coverage too!   There are intense games on tap for all tiers of footy.  At the top, the clash between #1 North Melbourne and #3 Geelong will tell us a lot about both teams.  The same holds true for the Sydney Derby and the West Coast-Adelaide clash.  In the middle tier, St. Kilda-Carlton and Melbourne-Collingwood should be close and hard-fought games between clubs struggling to remain in finals contention.  Finally, the Cleveland Bowl features 1-win Fremantle against 1-win Brisbane.  This is the first week that Fox starts showing games on channels other than Fox Soccer Plus, so check them out at a bar with a drink in hand!

Let’s check in on how we are doing on the Footy Tipping Contest:

PLACE TIPPER ROUND TIPS ROUND MARGIN TOTAL TIPS TOTAL MARGIN
1 BALLS 8 54 30 90
2 Litre_cola 8 43 26 102
3 SonofSpam 8 39 25 83
4 WhyEaglesWhy 7 53 25 101
5 seb blax 7 20 23 61
6 Zymm 6 20 21 101
7 BFC 2 70 13 173

Blaxabbath is doing really well on the margins, but just needs to catch up on the tips.  As for BFC, the lesson, as always, is to PUT THE TIP IN!

Enjoy the games!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Sill Bimmons

Some days it’s more fun to read the paper than others.

Today is one of those days.

blaxabbath

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just have to let the headline sink in for a bit:

“Playboy mansion sold to Twinkies owner”

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/playboy-mansion-sold-to-twinkies-owner/ar-BBtVRUY?ocid=ansmsnmoney11

Unsurprised

Well, its occupants are used to being cream-filled.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOO!

That is good and bad; yellow, chunky, Cloroxy, old man Hefner cream

Unsurprised

Nothing natural. Got it.

So what’s the difference between that and a Twinkie?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They mask the Clorox smell in the Twinkies?

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Obama got some laughs when he called kicker Brandon McManus the “heart and soul and the horsepower of the offense.”

Unsurprised

Scrolling text is a powerful reminder that life sucks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m just excited to be losing a contest where o can’t find the sport on tv.

blaxabbath

How spectator-friendly is the AFL? For one thing, the field looks enormous so what’s good seating? I mean, I assume it’s like an NFL game where you want to be near mid-field in the upper portion of the lower bowl.

Also, is defense typically just a zone scheme? I have no clue how you could track man coverage here.

blaxabbath

I just tune in for the videos.

blaxabbath
blaxabbath

Where does the key for the clubhouse entrance go exactly?

http://www.ewholesale.com.au/images/T/Hawaiian%20Girl.jpg

laserguru

Whoop Whoop.
Things are really going to start happening for the Dockers now.

Thank God for my Cubbies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The zipper is down.