Your “We’re Done Here, Back To You ‘Murika” Second Round OF NFL Games Open Thread

So glad all that rainy, drizzly weather that is so conducive to badly-played football is behind us now that we’re back across the pond! What’s that you say? Washington and Chicago are overcast? SHUT UP!!! It’s a different kind of weather for one thing. And another thing, SHUT UP!!! TO THE GAMES!

Ten/Hou-Not sure if you heard, the Houston JJ Watts are without their premier self-aggrandizer today, tomorrow and more than a few days after that as well. Lb Cushing and safety Demps are listed as questionable though I don’t think it’ll matter much against a Titans team that has no discernible identity. Maybe rb Miller chooses this game to break out.

Cle/Was-Rook qb Kessler has a tendency to throw to the right side of the field. 1.) He threw to the left side only 3 times last week 2.) Josh Norman plays the right side if I’m not mistaken. Another reason to turn left? Cb Breeland is out and safety Hall is gone for the year. Hopefully the rook figures these things out otherwise Norman will feast. Wondering how the Browns will use wr/wild-catter Pryor is about as interested as I’ll ever be about anything Cleveland.

Sea/NYJ-Seattle finally got some points on the board last week, putting up 37 vs. San Fran. The Jets did a great job imitating the Seahawks recent O struggles by posting a mere 3 points against KC. Can qb Fitzpatrick Harvard his way back from a six pick performance? If cb Sherman doesn’t get a pick against him I’ll have lost face in all loudmouth cornerbacks forever. It looks like Wilson is ready to go but Graham is a bit iffy. With wr Decker out take a look at Quincy Enunwa-he’s come out of nowhere (Nebraska, close enough) and been remarkably effective when on the field.

Buf/NE-Yet another thrashing of the Bills by the Pats. Will they do it through the air? Will I care? Will they do it on the ground? If watching, will I frown? Maybe they’ll do it by special teams-do you sense a theme? So many uninteresting questions… However it goes down, old Rexy will say it was his fault and that he was out-coached yet again.

Car/Atl-I started Tevin Coleman last week. I just want to get that out of the way. Due in part to their ‘splosion last week the Falcons O is #1 in the league in scoring which comes in mighty handy when the D is giving up an average of 30.3 points per game. Beware Atlanta, following the Saints model will not earn you much success. Their secondary seems okay but they can’t stop the run, cover the TE and pressure the QB. (three sacks total) With Julio not being dominant/having a nagging injury I thought for sure that Sanu would pick up numbers-wise but that hasn’t been the case. 1-2 Carolina desperately needs this game and I’d bet they get it.

Oak/Bal-I’m sure there are more surprising things going on in the world right now but the Ravens being undefeated after three weeks has got to be in the top 5 at the very least. All I know is that they’re not going to shut down a young and frisky Raiders O that has been busy sowing its oats or fondling its humbleberries or however the saying goes. Ravens cb’s Wright and Smith better be shot-gunning Red Bull on the sidelines all game long because they’ll be busy. Silly Factoid Time-The Ravens haven’t won a game by double digits since week 10 of the 2014 season.

Det/Chi-NFC North Snoozefest Alert! Despite what your gut tells you, the Lions have won six straight vs. dem Bears. Wr Jones is listed as questionable but is expected to play as is rook rb Howard because Langford is down. Wr Jeffrey is troubled by both knee and hamstring issues-with that and Hoyer throwing him the ball it may be best to look elsewhere. How about to Kevin White? He was targeted 14 times last week and the only drawback is that Hoyer is throwing the ball to him.

There’s your lowdown. Before you start commenting, for God sake, DO YOUR STRETCHES!

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King Hippo

TOO CLOSE TO TEH SUN, Horse Balls…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Cook’s hands shown for scale…
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ArmedandHammered

But are her hands bigger than Alex Smith’s?

Redshirt

Dammit Falcons. You should have ran backwards to your own 20 and given Ryan and Jones a chance at the records.

Unsurprised

I’m watching Sicario again. I am so glad not to live in a border state anymore.

I don’t think the Jets’ “turning the ball over and giving up big plays” strategy is working very well.

Senor Weaselo

So forget the run the clock out, Falcons are just gonna throw to Julio for the record, right?

Senor Weaselo

Aaaand reply fail.

...

Holy shit. Julio Jones has 300 yards receiving?

Spanky Datass

And ATL is averaging over 36 points per game. Where am I ’cause I don’t recognize or like this world …

ThePirateSloth

Jon Ryan: Best punter in the league!

Senor Weaselo

But not the best ninja.

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