Balls was left alone with the three new arrivals and Goodell.  Goodell addressed each of them individually by name in vain hope of saving his life.

“Ben, don’t do…whatever you plan on doing!  Mike, I brought you back into the fold!  Thanks to me, you got a bunch of money you otherwise would not have.  James, let’s be reasonable, you know you deserved those fines!”

The men were unmoved.  With cold precision, they took turns hitting Goodell in the stomach with a cricket bat, kneeing him in the groin, and kicking at his knees and shins.  The room started to smell as Goodell lost control of his stomach and bowels.  Feces dripped down his legs while he vomited until only yellowish bile came out.

The one named Mike Vick pulled out a dog leash from his jacket and snapped it on Goodell’s neck. The tall white one named Ben tied Goodell’s hands together while the last one, James, tied his knees together.  After this was done, Goodell was dragged out of the vault and into the room outside.

PK was outside,  now conscious, but in a similar state as Goodell.  The ex-players had given him the same treatment and the room smelled worse than the vault. Suddenly, a side door opened and a team of Russian operatives entered. They chloroformed Goodell and PK and dragged them outside into the back of a waiting van.  As the players and Balls entered the van through the side, one of the operatives handed Balls an envelope.

Inside, there was a picture

and a handwritten note:

Gronk and I have your drink waiting.  Our friends will take you.  

РАСПУТИН

The Russian team stayed behind while the van sped off into the dark night. After about an hour and a half, the van turned off pavement onto a dirt road and started climbing.  After another fifteen minutes, the van reached the peak and then descended into a hidden valley among the mountains. In the distance, Balls could see a faint light.

Ben Roethlisberger got out of the van when they reached the light. He spoke in Romansch to the shadowy figure outside holding a lantern.  Balls’ German was a little rusty, but he could clearly make out the words “barn” and “hungry”. Both men laughed and the van moved on.

Upon reaching the barn, the players grabbed Goodell first and then PK and dragged them inside. Balls followed. James turned a light on and Balls instantly knew the horrible acts he would bear witness to.  They were in a barn on a platform above a mudpit with about a dozen pigs.  There were several agricultural tools hanging from the sides of the barn including a couple of chainsaws, some sickles, and some hay forks.

The first one to wake up was PK.  He loudly exclaimed, “Where are we?”

Mike Vick replied coldly, “Wichita, motherfucker.  Say your last words.”

PK bumbled, “Huh?” and was soon hit in the face with a shovel by James.  His nose was immediately broken and he yelled out in pain.

James ordered him to shut up. Taking a sickle from the wall, he tore at PK’s clothes until they were all in tatters.  Blood was streaming from his body.  James and Mike took turns tearing the pieces of cloth off so that only PK’s fat naked body lay in front of them.

At this point, Goodell woke up.  Upon seeing PK naked on the ground and bleeding he screamed, “PK!!  What have they done to you???”

Ben spoke, “Nothing yet.  Now that you are both awake, I will tell you where you are and what is going to happen to you. We are at a remote farm in the Swiss mountains that my family owns.  We raise some sheep, some cows, and some pigs.  We create a damn fine cheese, by the way. But I digress.”

A look of panic took over PK’s face.  Goodell was quiet but still defiant.

Ben continued, ” I have been a bit neglectful, however, and I have not fed my pigs for awhile.  They are quite hungry by now.  This is where you come in.”

Goodell realized what was about to happen and roared, “You’ll never get away with it, Roethlisberger!  Do you know who my father is?!?  Do you really think I can disappear and no one will ask questions?!?”

Ben calmly responded, “Oh Rog.  Isn’t that what you told me to call you the first time you had me visit your office?  This is Switzerland, man.  This is my turf.  You are nothing.”

“Why you big..” His words were cut off by a sharp poke with a hay fork from James.

“Thanks, bud!  I think my piggies will appreciate the meat being a little tenderized before they eat it.  Mike grabbed another hay fork and commenced stabbing PK’s fat body with it. A devilish grin showed on his face.

James swung his shovel and struck Goodell straight on the face, momentarily knocking him out.  Ben and James stripped him as Mike continued tenderizing PK.

As soon as Goodell was naked, Ben and James grabbed hay forks and stabbed Goodell until every square inch had a hole in it.  The pigs were squealing with delight.  Balls was enjoying himself and only wished he had some alcohol to drink.

Finally, the three men pushed Goodell over the edge.  Before the pigs could get there, PK landed on top of Goodell face against groin.

“In death as in life”, said Ben and the pigs pounced.  The inhuman screams were quickly drowned out by noise-cancelling headphones that Mike Vick handed out.  Balls was grateful to receive one.

After every piece of Goodell and PK had been consumed, the players left in the van, leaving Balls by himself.  About ten minutes later, a helicopter appeared.

***

“Did the guys do a good job?  More importantly, are Goodell and PK dead?”

Tom Brady was drinking vodka russian-style and had a dancer sitting on his lap.  The look on his face, however, was deadly serious.

Balls responded, “Oh yes, they most certainly are.  You must be proud of your men.”

“Good. I knew those guys would be happy to take care of those two.  The flight was pleasant?”

Balls still didn’t know what was going on with Brady.  There was still something Brady wanted, but he couldn’t figure it out. His sixth sense told him to be careful.  “Yes, it was lovely.”

“Excellent!  I’m glad we have gotten to know each other, Mr. Balls.  To your health!”

Mr. Brady raised his glass.  Balls did likewise with his, “To yours!”

They clinked glasses and drank the vodka.  It was cold and smooth like water.

“And now, Mr. Balls, I will leave you in capable hands.  I’ll be seeing you sometime. Or not.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Balls could see several figures and he could sense someone walking towards him.  As he turned to see, his heart skipped a beat.