The Day of the Dead came a little late this year, eh? We’ll never forget you, TannyFanny. So very GIF-able. Does that mean we need to say something about his game, too? The fraudulent Dolphins won on a late FG in the monsoon, despite the quartered backery of Matt Moore. Because Arizona was there, too. Miami managed a blocked extra point 2-point return, so that was fun. But that prompted AZ to go for two later (which they made) so I doubt it turned the outcome, at least not for sure like last week.
Hat tip to Commentist Party member in good standing Spur from the Live Blog, for “Long Snapper Lives Matter.” Iggles fans will surely attest to that, after losing their starter in the first half. Not really a stretch to say it was the difference in a coin flippish even game. But the Redacteds get the road win, move to 7-5-1 and lurk dangerously close to the playoffs.
Also ded? Nobody will be surprised that it’s MOAR key Chargers. Joey Bosa on the D, Melvin Gordon on the O. King Laserface lives, but he might as well have been playing for the Panthers today, handing the ball over a ridiculous 5 times. That’s too many for even the 2016 version of Carolina to fuck up. Though they kinda tried, at least periodically. Real shitty game.
There was snow in Buffalo again!! And it made The Ben even more childlike than usual, and he threw to ALL THE CATCHMEN, not just his’n. Spread the holiday joy, ya know? But Le’Veon ran for about 700 yards in between HARFceptions, so the outcome was never in question. The Bills are just a garbage pail full of shit. I’d rather be a 2 or 3-win team than them right now.
Oh yeah, maybe Le’Veon is that #4 player after my troika of Von, Khalil, and David Johnson. He good.
Tennessee raced out to an early 13-0 lead and just went into a complete shell. Need proof? Mariota completed 6 passes. SIX. Weather was NOT a factor. Trevor Siemian threw for 330+, and his team lost 13-10. Life really sucks sometimes. Trev and HillyBob should get a beer tomorrow.
It looks between TN and the imaginatorium in TX for the AFC South, as Brock Lobster herped and derped his way to a season sweep of the Humps. It makes no sense whatsoever, but it happened.
Do the Titans and Texans at least play again? Yup. Week 17, in Nashville. Expect a SNF flexing.
Jim Caldwell’s Fuck Lions of Destiny. Should they have lost at home to the lowly Bears? Sure. But they didn’t. Fat Stafford has a gross sounding middle finger injury on his throwing hand, which sounds like it will test the limits of their voodoo hex and/or their payoffs to get strategically timed holding calls.
And guess who got blown out on the road (surprise, surprise) allowing those aforesaid Lions to grab the coveted 2 seed? Apparently Russell Wilson was jelly off fellow NC State graduate (Wilson DID get his degree, only took him like 3 or 3.5 years, he’s ridiculously smart) Philip Rivers, so he turned it over 5 times to the Packers. Watch out for Green Bay coming in the back door for that 6 seed. Hee hee, Rodgers joke.
It was postulated that perhaps Factory could grab a win over the still AJ Green-less Bungles this week, what with RG3 back and all. They, uh, could not. Tyler Eifert probably saved my (and countless myriad other) fantasy playoff lives with his two TD catches. The Detroit Perfecto remains in play, the #1 pick a near-certainty.
Speaking of the #1/2 pick, San Francisco looked sure to win today. The Jest looked every bit like they had flat out quit, and were lucky to only be down 17-3 early. Then, Bryce Fucking Petty got nanobubbled or something, pumped some life into the team, someone decided to start tackling Carlos Hyde. 11 fourth quarter points got us to OT, and New York got a TD on their opening drive. Unreal.
There was no such resurrection in SoCal. Ram It!! got well and truly turned inside out by the Julio Jones-less Falcons. It was 42-0 before Atlanta decided to invoke the mercy rule. Jared Goff is shit again.
Mike Zimmer was back on the sidelines with an eye patch, and was goddamned terrifying. Perhaps not coincidentally, Sam Bradford got HIS shit together and played an excellent game. The Jaguras are ordinarily very good in pass defense, believe it or not! Anyway, despite goal line follies, Minny pulled away late and JAX never did anything significant because DUH.
Forgive them, Breesus Christ, for they know not what they do. But serious, if Drew hunted his teammates for sport, it would be TOTES warranted. Tampa stays even with the tiebreak-winning Falcons atop the other South. N’awlins, ded.
That leaves only SNF. We was teased with snow, but it stopped right before kickoff because 2016! The year that shat in everyone’s mouth. Unwatchable dreck followed, with many reminders of how dominant Dallas is, particularly it OL and DL. And then OBJ got loose for one big play, and Dallas shat themselves offensively for 20 painfully awkward minutes, and lost 10-7. It was weird, man.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ccb0491788c6e6535e8015d349a70389/tumblr_ocqk596ndP1r4dip7o1_500.jpg
Whole Foods and/or the butcher shop and their stupid sexy, sexy thick cut smoked bacon…… fuck!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9ihIfoWl3Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayi2xRSC_uM
I love this because I hate kids.
I finally am starting to guess why Vin Diesel is popular…
blob:http://www.dailymotion.com/c791309a-cb72-4b4a-b3e4-7d626872e300
“Page not found
The page you’re looking for is either restricted or doesn’t exist”
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2p9m3v
This is a wonderful feature of this site.
I came for the puzzles, but I left with an admiration of King Hippo’s NFL acumen.
That reminds me, RTD needs to get on those puzzles!
I was thinking of doing one related to Jeff Fisher finally getting fired. Perhaps this is the push I needed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wbdeav9Mos
In Dallas this morning.
http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m179/TeamPointBlank/4ff9a0d2.jpg
Dude, what the hell? Some of us still have queasy stomachs as a result of overimbibing yesterday.
Bell blew his ACL last year and ran for three hundred & whatever in snow? That’s amazing. Is it HGH that heals these guys that quickly? I got my ACL reconstructed & his confidence is almost unimaginable to me.
The healing power of Mary Jane. Been hushed up by Big Pharma. You ever see Josh Gordon or Icky Sticky Ricky (during his high usage years) miss a game due to injury?
/returns to reading High Times and making hemp potholders
So was anyone else’s fantasy football bacon saved last night by Dez’s dud?
Possibly…
No shit, huh? Hey, I still have the New England defense! They can score… 17 points!!
/I’m fucked.
I need Malcolm Mitchell and Justin Tucker to outscore Gostkowski by 8, to avoid the guy who has David Johnson AND Le’Veon Bell in the first playoff round. That team is currently pummeling mine by NINETY (90) in a our last regular season game.
Check out the other game – their scores are…
http://www.dnjournal.com/images/lowdown/even-worse-320.jpg
Yeah, it sucks that I’ll probably outscore them both and get knocked out.
So about Shan’khor not going down the middle …
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/808145945301020674
Thursday Sky Goddess spoketh
Shan,khor
All I need are Hippo Thoughts on a Monday morning and a bourble to guide me…
I was away from DFO all day yesterday, and gosh-darnit, I missed you people.
Read through the SNF comments. Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show was murdering the fuck out of it.
Per my usual Monday Morning Work Avoidance, I’m reading my way through all the threads I missed.
I’m stuck in Indonesia of all places (unfortunately not a vacation and not Bali), and it’s only 7:30 in the evening. Much to my dismay there is no coverage what-so-ever of anything NFL. The only “football” coverage is the tepid dirt-hockey variety that Mark Sanchez’s dad likes to watch on Saturday afternoons with the volume cranked up ridiculously high. I realize this is an Islamic country, the 4 AM call to prayer is a convenient reminder, but just because it was ‘muricas team is no excuse for a flexing faqua.
Oh well, watching footed-ball at 8:30 AM is a fool’s errand unless it’s the Jags giving Londen a reason to re-think the Redcoats. That’s too far from five o’clock even for me, and no self-respecting ‘Boys homer can tolerate anything created by hand of J-squared without something to dull the sences.
Welp, off to the Philippines for five days then a very brief visit to Bangkok, necessarily cut short due to the dicey political scene at the moment. I can’t wait to return to the land of an air conditioner in every pot. GO BLUE TEAM!!!
The Philippines and then Bangkok? Also known as the Rob Ryan Off-season Tour.
“Hey, if you run into Tim Tebow in the Philippines make sure to take some pictures!”
– Brad Childress
Long way to go for that W17 flex. Likelier rite now IMHO: GB @ DET, OAK @ DEN, NYG @ WAS.
If the Tits beat KC next week, I might get injured from overgloating. Oh: that KC tilt is the 3rd away game for TEN where the host is on a 10-day mini bye. Dear NFL: ????.
I would love to see how many homeless they let in to keep whatever they call the Silverdome now from being overrun by Cheeseheads.
But I suspect they will have an unbeatable lead for the division and will be playing only for that 2 seed in Week 17. Fuck Lions of Destiny!!!
I think Detroit might be fucked. They are @giants, @cowboys, v. Packers. Their last five wins have come against kind-of-bad to very bad teams: Chicago, Minnesota (twice!), Saints, and Jags. Green Bay finishes with @Chicago, v. Minnesota, and @Detroit. I could see the Lions and Packers coming into that game both at 9-6. Even if it is 10-5 and 9-6, Green Bay wins by virtue of head to head if they beat Detroit. Vikings get Colts, Packers and Bears. I bet if there is a three-way tie at 9-7, somehow Green Bay would go to the playoffs because of course.
I agree. They’ve been feasting on shit teams.
There is no night game in week 17 so … no flex.
The Cowboys record is now 11 and Giants.
They Might Be Giants after all, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhjSzjoU7OQ