2016 Quotables (Week 15 Results)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
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GENERAL: Mr. President, Agent Blaxabbath is pinned down in Caracas and can’t post Quotables this week!

PRESIDENT RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I’ll handle this!  [pulls up pants, fires up computer]

 

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Mike Peireira: “And here we see the referee signaling to the police sniper that this black guy is NOT to be shot, which upon review I feel is the correct call, as “being uppity” was declared a non-lethal offense in 1983. You know, that’s what makes the replay system work, this clear communication.” – SonOfSpam
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“Look, we can’t call it that anymore, I don’t care if he’s the punter. It’s ‘kill the carrier’ now.” – BrettFavresColonoscopy
“With this green screen, they’ll just edit in me catching the ball in post-production, right?” – LemonJello
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“Bryce Petty finally takes his class in Women’s Studies, ‘The Female Student Experience at Baylor.'” – nomonkeyfun

ART BRILES MEMORIAL AWARD FOR ACHIEVEMENT IN THE FIELD OF TAG TEAMING:
“15 yard penalty for demonstration of a sexual act.” – Sunrisesunrise
“What do the kids call that, an 11/9? Two towers hitting a jet?” – LemonJello

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“What do you mean you know who this guy voted for?” – BrettFavresColonoscopy
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“DOUBLE DARE HOST: In order to find the flag, you’ll need to dig into this walking piece of fecal matter!” – Bloody Lethal
“Is there anything sadder than a Cleveland Browns fan watching his team get blown out by the Buffalo Bills? Maybe, if the Browns fan is actually a puppy and it’s raining and also the puppy has cancer.” – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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“So a Bills fan walks into a talent agents office and says ‘Have I got a show for you…’ – JerBear50
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Bloody Lethal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMmksjQwE88

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/8021050/1118full-hayley-atwell.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/8862172/760full-monika-jagaciak.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IN A CAR WASH!
HAPPY ABOUT FUCKING TIME SEXY FRIDAY!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/stunned.gif

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ballsofsteelandfury

In 15 minutes

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Correct; still at work and one other idiot is in the office still.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck 2016. She’s not done with us yet.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

They’s still SHITSMAS to come!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.bromygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Helen-Flanagan-010-03032014.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdp73ipwF91qf0rpdo3_500.gif

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Unsurprised

Ah. President. Chimp.

I thought that would never be something to aspire to again after W.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You mean President Mongoose?

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Unsurprised

Suuuure

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://yarr.me/c/652/14/picard-jiggle.gif

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rockingdog

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Bloody Lethal

The name, the avatar, and the post. It came together to make me chortle.

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Bloody Lethal

Anyone want to commiserate with me over how the refs called last night’s game as if it was in the prison yard and they were afraid to get shanked by the Philly fans?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Nice work, but no one believes you actually put on pants to write this RTD

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sweatpants with a hole in the crotch still count as pants.

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montythisseemsstrangetome

Rikki, immediately before the General ran in:
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I LEARNED BY WATCHING YOU, ALL RIGHT TRAVIS KELCE!

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JerBear50

Try convincing the doorman of that. I mean, clearly you’d think that make make it more exotic, but they’ve got all these stupid rules I guess.

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King Hippo

Man, LemonJello was fucking KILLING IT this week.

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...

DFO closes out the year strong with the best Quotables yet.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I know! And it’s all thanks to ME!”

– President Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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blaxabbath

PK-Deadly

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...

Editor: Actually, the proper version is “PK-Tikki-Deadly,” sir.

Blaxabbath: [frowns and throws sextuple-shot of Starbucks espresso in editor’s eyes]

Editor: [screams] Oh Thank God, at least it wasn’t another Favre load.

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JerBear50

MAKE DFO GREAT AGAIN! Uh, that Richard fellow isn’t around any more, right?
/eyes Don T warily

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In all seriousness, I feel an inordinate sense of accomplishment considering all I did was move a bunch of words around.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“In all seriousness, I feel a completely unreasonable sense of accomplishment considering all I did was move a bunch of words around.”

— Peter King’s “Editor”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: Peter King’s editor used to play tight end for a franchise called the “Houston Texans”.

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...

“In all seriousness, I feel a completely unreasonable sense of accomplishment.”

— Donald Trump’s suppressed superego

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s how i feel after every post i write.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now you know how Ape felt before he got fired from the Post

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