Your “Where’s John Facenda When You *Really* Need Him?” Xmas Day NFL Football Open Thread

Well look at you, all survive-y and shit after at least one go-round of the festivities! Good work. There should be plenty more where that comes from so take some time for yourself, pour a glass of cheer (or bleach if you’re a Titans, Bills, Chargers, Seahawks or Raiders fan) and have a non-existent seat beside me for the game. Kidding! I’ll be out of service due to family shenanigans but if I’m willing to risk the wrath of wifey I may be able to show up for the late show. TO THE GAME!

Bal/Pit-I think I’ve watched every single thing that NFL Films has ever put out from the 60’s to the 90’s. What they taught me was that games played under cold conditions between hard-hitting teams that don’t like each other very much is Heaven. I also learned that the best of the best players were the ones that bled on the sidelines. Anyhoos, this looks to be a game that no one is going to come out of with at least their hair being mussed up a little. At stake (“Steak?”-Andy Reid god help me, I love that joke) here for Pittsburgh is a 3 seed and a home-field game as the division winner. As long as a Big Ben, Bell or Brown type doesn’t break a leg while victory-ing like Carr did yesterday then it’s all good. Rb Bell is a hard guy to bring down but the Ravens tend to do a great job on him-he averages 67 yds against them and only went for 32 in their last meeting. The Steelers 5th ranked O will look to wr Brown a bit more often given that Baltimore’s best cb, Jimmy Smith is inactive for this one. I can’t see any team running away with this one but I pride myself on being wrong at least 50% of the time when making predictions.

Did you get socks? I got socks. NOW GO GET ‘EM!!!

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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

No Choco Taco from Santa tonite. The Ben sad.

ballsofsteelandfury

This team really loves to kill itself. Fuck.

Redshirt

Big Ben forced to do something he doesn’t want to do. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

...

Alanis Morriception

Sharkbait

R.I.P George Michael

ballsofsteelandfury

Sports Machine or Wham?

Sharkbait

Wham. I guess it was his last Christmas after all

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THOSE AREN’T THE SAME GUY?

King Hippo

This Christmas, he gave us his corpse.

ballsofsteelandfury

¿AIDS? ¿Is it bad that my first thought is AIDS?

King Hippo

you were just the first one to SAY it

Col. Duke LaCross

Guilty feet ain’t got no rhythm.

Redshirt

Ah, Mandatory Mimosas. A Family Christmas Tradition.

King Hippo

better than mandatory enemas!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mimosa Enemas(TM) FOR EVERYONE!!!

Redshirt

Well, if its a DFO tradition…

(unzips)

...

The bubbles feel wonderful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

So, this game huh?

I need more alcohol. This team is so fucking frustrating.

...

Wine’s out at my house.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHAT?? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

*Considers he just means it is out on the table ready for some drinkin’.

King Hippo

Personally, I saved mah bottle for you-know-who later this evenin’

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

It isn’t Christmas until that picture is posted.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Roasting Chet’s nuts by an open fire…..”

The dad (Chet) fell asleep to close to the fireplace.

Redshirt

Hi, FBI! Welcome to our website!

Brick Meathook

What’s with that microphone angle Bob Costas?

King Hippo

A black guy in the elevator told him it would look cool

Brick Meathook

This “Mexicans love the Raiders” is a parody, right?

rockingdog

hahaha

ballsofsteelandfury

Wasn’t it funny how white they were?

WCS

There aren’t enough words in human communication to fully describe how much I loathe Christmas commercials.

Happy Christmas, slapdicks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
rockingdog

Merry christmas all.
My gift to you is the Seinfeld script about 9/11. its funny: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/view

Redshirt

Referee: “Offside, Defense. Penalty Declined. Result of play: … …. LINE!”

Spur

Black people will watch anything Ice cube is in. Good for Charlie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” –Mark Twain

rockingdog

“Were here when your ready.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My ready?

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NO! What CHU talkin’ ’bout?!?

Dunstan

Greetings, fellow degenerates. May Shan’klor bring us many presents!

Redshirt

Its crap like this that caused the undecided middle class whites to turn to Trump. And I’m only saying this so you Liberals can get your shit together for ’20. I’m resigned myself to the fact that the Republicans are lost to the Far Right and that Moderate Republicans like me will never have a voice. Seeing how the only alternative to Trump is Cruz, you Liberals are our only hope in ’20. Just so long as you don’t go too far left and scare Middle American again.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/23/health/college-course-white-controversy-irpt-trnd/

rockingdog

I wonder what the proportion of men to women taking that class is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Sigh] You actually think this type of minor activity is responsible for the major divide…… ah, forget it. Wrong day.

King Hippo

CNN turning into Faux News-lite with the “white Christian male outrage clickbait” approach certainly is a factor, no doubt. But it’s just part of a larger failure on the part of the media to cover real news in a real way.

Such that all the people could really, truly understand they were voting for a fascist. MOST knew and understood, but not enough. Maybe they would have anyway, my faith in humanity is shaken enough to imagine so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He may be too self-serving and stupid to be a good fascist…. but point taken.

...

Trump isn’t a fascist and never really was, he’s just an enabler and playing the fascism fiddle got him the attention and adoration he sought. He’s definitely a casual racist and an all-around terrible human being, but real fascists were really committed the cause and I’ve seen nothing to suggest Trump is anything more than a garden-variety plutocrat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I should not have said “may”…. you are correct; a true fascist need more than a 60 second attention span.

King Hippo

we shall see. I suspect now that he’s there, he will see that he’s NOT universally adored and will seek to consolidate as much unilateral power as he can so he can crush his “enemies.” It’s not really in service of any ideological goal directly (though he’s operating in tandem with the GOP, their goals are being served along the way), it will be authoritarian fascism in how it plays out.

I also find it hard to believe he will allow truly “free” elections to be held, either.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As long as they are free enough for Putin to help.

...

He’ll certainly use his power to benefit himself, but Trump has proven himself a petty man mostly concerned with image and money. I suspect he’ll bore of the presidency eventually and prefer the significantly small world of real estate and branding where he can control things much more.

And the president can’t do much about elections as they’re not managed at the Federal level. Of course, some states are eager to disenfranchise certain voters and have already been taking steps to that end.

...

CNN is absolute shit but that’s mostly because when Zucker took over that he wanted to broaden the definition of news. The result is a network that I consider worse than Fox.

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HOT TAKE INCOMING.

So I read about this and despite the provocative title, it’s basically an examination of racism and how it’s intertwined with white identity. The dipshit objecting to it is basically saying “this course is a bunch of lies because racism doesn’t exist” which is patently wrong. I’d argue the nature of racism is varied and misunderstood and classes that examine how it’s shaped white identity are important–provided they aren’t framing everything as “white people are evil.” It doesn’t appear this class is doing that and I doubt the people objecting to it would even sit through a class to discover that.

Basically, you’re arguing we should pretend racism isn’t an issue because it’s uncomfortable for people to face the fact they’re probably harboring some racism subconsciously and addressing that is too uncomfortable for them. It’s throwing a lot of Americans under the bus–Americans who are as essential to defeating the Republicans as white folks are–to win an election.

And I’d argue the main reason undecided middle class whites turned to Trump was the same reason that they used to justify voting for Obama: We need “change.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Very well said.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moar like Animate Carbon Rod Marinelli AMEYERITE FOEKS!!

King Hippo

and if you can’t admit that your “white identity” has helped you function and advance in American society, then you’re being an asshole. That doesn’t mean that one has specifically does anything wrong or that I or you ought to be flogged in public or pay a “whitey tax” but coming to grips with that and academic study of the phenomenon seems perfectly legitimate to me.

...

As I see it, the larger issue is that racism is treated as a deep character flaw that can only exist in morally-inferior people. It’s not. It’s just a set of beliefs like any other that need to be exposed as false.

The left’s Achilles’ Heel has always been it’s righteousness and they’re eager to brand anyone who expresses even a single a racist thought as a thoroughly defective person unworthy of forgiveness. You’re either as bad as the KKK or you’re not. This is a huge mistake that fundamentally misunderstands racism and makes it impossible to do anything but yell and scream judgments at one another.

King Hippo

oh, as a leftist I DEFINITELY don’t believe that’s true. EVERYBODY is at least a bit prejudiced, it’s a matter of whether your heart is in the right place, and what you do about your “blind spots.”

And we should always talk shit out. Keeping it quiet and hidden away only makes things worse.

...

Talking shit out is good, but you can’t always jump right to that. For some people, the realization that they’re more racist than they realize will be very painful to deal with because they genuinely believe racism is wrong and racists are bad people.

You have to get people to the place where they can distance themselves a bit from their own beliefs and, frankly, most people will die long before they get the level of comfort.

King Hippo

That goes back to the whole “black and white” (no ofence) belief system, which is always so hard for me to even understand. Almost everything, to my thinking, lies somewhere in the grey zone. I mean, every human being alive is capable of both good and evil. It’s just a matter of degree and frequency, generally. But nobody in your neighborhood is God or the devil.

...

Thinking non-dualistically is hard. I mean, it’s really hard.

We’re also heavily conditioned that being smart and right is good and if you aren’t those things you’re bad. When your standard of self-approval is dualistic, your thinking will follow.

Beerguyrob

My mother in law just asked me about “the player with the long last name.” My answer was, “that’s Ben Roethlisberger. It’s German for ‘rape’.”

The day is going great.

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More specifically “rape in a tavern bathroom” because German is a rich language with long words.

Spur

And KD chokes as usual. Fuck the Warriors and FUCK KD for jumping to that ship.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Croooow

It’s why I want Russell Westbrook to win the MVP and a season Triple-Double average.

Spur

Does that count as a missed FG?

Redshirt

HOLD’KOR, cousin of SHAN’KOR?

Redshirt

I can’t help but get a laugh seeing “Merry Christmas” replaced with “Flag”, almost like its the PC Police saying “You can’t say ‘Merry Christmas’. Its disrespectful to Non-Christians!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beerguyrob

Yay! Blood orgy!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

He had already caught the ball THEN dropped his head. He’s a runner at that point. AWFUL call.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

the fuck was wrong with THAT??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No butt-plug.

Redshirt

(Actual line uttered to me by my mother)

“On the ham won’t fit? I’ll get a bigger ham. You just stand there holding your meat.”

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“Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s OK; I think he’s from Kentucky.

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I hope Jeff Fisher’s next job is to be the “coach” who delivers tickets bought on NFL Ticket Exchange to fans and that we get to see fans mock him.

Recovery Whiskey

Walmart Poutine?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The fries and mac-n-cheese are much higher quality than anything Walmart. However I would expect the health effects would be similar.

Spur

Cavs going at Klay, making him defend. Make him and Curry defend and you get a great shot at beating them. And what a surprise KD is fucking up in crunch time.

rockingdog

christmas day. when the NBA season actually begins.

Redshirt

How wasn’t that Intentional Grounding? Oh, right its the Steelers. Nevermind.

Spur

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the fucking Steelers?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Richard Gere’s present??

Spur
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So when I first turned on the stream of this game, I got both the English AND Spanish commentary mashed together.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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What a coincidence! I poop candy too!

Recovery Whiskey

Sherman got one of these for Goodell

Spur

These look like the Steelers jerseys they had in The Dark Knight Rises.

King Hippo

I guess they did colour rush, what with it being Thursday night and all…

Redshirt

Don’t get my hopes up.

Spur

Would LeBron James be a wide receiver or tight end if he want back to playing football?

Redshirt

THIS STEELERS-RAVENS GAME, I CALL IT THE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS WHO WINS AND EVERYONE INVOLVED CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES!

King Hippo

once the bombs start falling you may change your tune (for about 30 seconds, then we ded)

Redshirt

Be honest here, with Hillary there would’ve been a decent chance of the bombs dropping. Not nearly as much as Trumpy but still a decent chance.

King Hippo

much, much less. 50% vs 5% I’d say

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s be honest here: bullshit.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

You guys, I’m really fucking full and food coma may commence. Or the Steelers will make me vomit.

King Hippo

that kickoff makes for quite the Roman tickle feather

Spur

Cavs/Warriors game is getting good.

Spur

…Tony Dungy is announcing?

King Hippo

His family didn’t need him hanging around

ThursdaySkyGoddess
King Hippo

Wow, the ENTIRE studio crew picked Balmer. They are all moe-rons, but still…

Brick Meathook

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Spur

Are we going to get a Christmas Day truce between the Steelers and Ravens like we did in WWI?

Spur

I got socks and a robe.

King Hippo

I got to sleep until 11!

/thanks, extended release muscle relaxer, kids being out of town with their mom, and having cats instead of dogs