Just so we’re clear:

Sorry not sorry there was no review of last week’s episode. I was busy.

Boy howdy – a lot of websites sure liked last night’s episode. I’m not sure how I feel. Visually, it was stunning. Plotwise it felt like another Herschel’s farm episode, but in three locations.

Okay, here’s what you paid to see

His name is Winston, and he was the challenge the “Garbage Trolls” put in the way of anyone wanting to form an alliance with them.

See, it turns out that the supplies Rick took off the houseboat back in the first half of the season were really coveted by a group of unnamed survivors who live in a garbage dump. They stole the houseboat goods from Alexandria & took Gabriel hostage, despite their motto being, “We take. We don’t bother.” Rick & friends went looking for him (via rock hard clues) and found him with this heretofore unknown, unnamed community of rag-tag misfits who appear to have just left a Cure concert.

Despite being held at gunpoint,

back at the dump, Rick proposed an alliance between the two communities, because eventually the Saviors would come looking for them. To test Rick’s mettle & determine his strength, they tricked him into gladiatorial combat, kicking him from the top of their mountain

down into the Garbagedome!

After picking up some tetanus,

Rick was able to use the garbage to his advantage & finish off Winston the walker. This impressed Jadis, the Narnian leader of the “Scavengers”,

Sorry, that’s Jadakiss; Jadis leads the Scavengers.

She decided that, yes, they would ally with Rick, provided he brought them guns. “Many guns”. Then they went home.

(Unsaid but implied request – more books from a sophomore English reading list, so more Scavengers could choose cool names.)

Oh, and Daryl finally met Carol.

He found out where she was because Richard wanted to use her as bait for a trap to get Ezekiel to change tack & fight the Saviors. Daryl laid him out for such temerity, letting him know that “if she gets hurt, if she dies, if she catches a fever, if she’s taken out by a walker, if she gets hit by lightning, if anything — anything — happens to her, I’ll kill you.” Then, he set out to find her.

It was touching. But pointless, because he didn’t tell her how the gang really was. He lied to her and said everyone was fine. Then he left for Hilltop.

Before I forget, a Savior took Morgan’s stick, which was special to him because it was given to him by “a friend”.

That won’t come around at all.

Many websites I surveyed loved the episode, since it again showed progression towards the war that is coming IN SEASON FUCKING EIGHT! All these people are jizzing their pants over something we are going to have to wait a year & a cliffhanger to see.

More than a few sites also posited that the spike through Rick’s hand is how he actually loses it, as he does in the comics.

Forbes was the best alternative theory site, since they reviewed the episode like they were playing Fallout 4.

Including breaking down dialogue for intelligence & ability to make allies.

I was frustrated with the episode because, despite Rick possibly gaining another ally – which, again, we won’t really know means anything until Season 8 – nothing else changed. For the most part, and it’s been echoed a couple of times elsewhere online, I thought I was watching a ripoff of “The Warriors”.

You’ve got a charismatic leader of ragtag followers,

being told about a boogeyman trying to hunt them all down.

An opponent that must be bested before any partnership will be entertained.

Victory.

Recognition of said qualities & begrudging respect

Acceptance of said compliments

Then a return home to contemplate the next quest.

Plus, an annoying B-plot about a romance that isn’t a romance that interferes/intersects with the main story juuuuuust enough to tie them together.

Next week, the episode jumps back in time, focusing on The Saviors kidnapping Eugene, Daryl’s escape, and something that made Dwight shit his pants. And I know there’s going to be one more episode where Oceanside is involved, because where else is Rick going to get the guns he needs, despite Tara’s promise to not reveal their location to anyone. This was foreshadowed in Rick’s comment to Tara that, “Well, you can at least tell us where not to look.” That leaves four episodes to build towards the war, and one has to involve how they turn Ezekiel into a fighting ally.

OOH BOY – POLITICS! That’s why I watch.