Your “Happy President’s Family Day” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Everyone in North America has a holiday today except British Columbia and whoever drew the short-straw in the Wal-mart employee break room. My condolences to myself & the others in this circumstance.

I was all set to go back to doing a preview of NFL News, and then I saw this:

Video unembeddable. Good thing, because you’d punch your computer.

I know it’s parody and the Sklar Brothers, neither of whom/which are very funny, but still: Fuck you! and NO!

NFL Free Agency kicks into gear March 7-9, so I’ll probably get back to the round-up aboot then.

[Fun fact: why trying to get my computer to accept “aboot” as a spelling, I ran across this image which fits nicely with Senor Weaselo‘s post from Sunday about Pokemon. I’mma just going to leave that on the right side of the page.]


President’s Day:

As of today, President Trump has equalled the shortest term in office – 31 days – set by William Henry Harrison, who died from the pneumonia he caught while being sworn in. Next on the list is James Garfield at 199 days, who was shot 3 months and 28 days into his term, and died of incompetence & lead poisoning 79 days later – 6 months and 15 days into his term.

Fifth on that list is Warren Harding, who died 2 years, 4 months, and 29 days into his term. When Trump got elected, this was the president who I felt would eventually parallel Trump’s time in office. NO, SECRET SERVICE, I DON’T HOPE HE DIES! Rather, my understanding of American history drew me to these parallels:

  • both won a seemingly popular-among-the-fanbase election
  • both had a far-more-competent-than-him running mate
  • each candidacy was lukewarm in the press, even among Party-supported papers
  • Harding ran a “front porch” campaign, whereas Trump flew his front porch to meet people
and to embarrass his opponent.
  • Harding’s campaign slogan was “Return to Normalcy”, advocating a US withdrawal from world affairs in the post-WWI era. We all know what “#MAGA” means.
  • Finally, a typical Harding campaign speech was referred to as “an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea. Sometimes these meandering words actually capture a straggling thought and bear it triumphantly, a prisoner in their midst, until it died of servitude and over work.”

Once elected, Harding vowed to consult the “best minds” in order to appoint only the best candidates as his cabinet & advisors. Much like Trump, he appointed officials to lead departments they had been opposed to when in private life. Harding’s famous appointee in this manner was Albert Fall as Interior Secretary, a farmer & miner who opposed conservation on “Manifest Destiny” grounds. He became famous for the “Teapot Dome” scandal, over the Department granting favourable & untendered drilling leases to friends of his. During hearings into the scandal, he uttered the immortal line:

“Sir, if you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake and my straw reaches across the room, I’ll end up drinking your milkshake.”

which was borrowed for “There Will Be Blood”, along with a solid mustache game.

We are only 31 days into the Trump presidency. I’m sure there will be bigger scandals than Michael Flynn, hopefully involving Russians.

I doubt they’ll be as sexy.

Tonight’s sports: Hope you like college hoops!

  • NHL:
    • Florida at St. Louis – 8:00PM | Sportsnet / NHLN-US, FS-MW, FS-F
    • Anaheim at Arizona – 9:00PM | Sportsnet1 / FS-A
  • NCAA:
    • Men: highlighted contests
      • Miami at Virginia – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Texas at West Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Women:
      • Maryland at Ohio State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Baylor at Texas – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • Curling:
    • Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Draw #7) – 7:30PM | TSN
  • WWE: RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • apparently, we might be able to smell what someone might be cooking
    • last week, we saw friendship die a magnificent, Jannety-esque death

  • tonight, we will get an explanation (and Wrestlemania set-up) from the dastardly & former best friend, Kevin Owens.

It should be glorious.

GLORIOUS!

(All presidential terms & factoids from Wikipedia,because I was lazy)

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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WCS
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUHlxBZMiqw&ab_channel=ScreamDream3000

Also, I haven’t smoked grass in twelve years, and I quit cigarettes in 2009. I do vape, because it’s easier, and cleaner for Lil’ WCS (COME AT ME BROS). That all said (typed?), this song really makes me want to toast a blunt, and smoke a pack of Camels.

WCS
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I’m quite aware I’m the only one left. I’m simultaneously thrilled and terrified about Lil’ WCS’s development today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Another thing I learned from watching Batman Returns and Danny DeVito’s Penguin. Frank is just a slightly more real life Penguin. Of course not by much still loves sewers, inappropriately groping women, gagging rants about water when he is gonna die, wants power and money, and I think they designed his suit from the movie to make him look like he does today other than the nose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I sometimes don’t understand this code that certain heroes live by.
“How dare you kill the person that killed you? Follow the law”
“Literally 20 minutes ago you strapped a bomb to a guy and let him explode”
“I had a good pun”
“You killed like 30 more people since then and another 70 earlier when I was there”
/ I was watching Batman Returns for some reason tonight

I have to post this again

laserguru
Member

I saw Manchester by the Sea today.
While it won’t win for best picture it has haunted me.
I already told you that LA LA Land wins everything and you should bet some money if so inclined but this movie fucked with me.
Anybody who has raised kids and raised a glass will understand.

Fuck man. My dreams are going to be intense.

WCS
Member

FACK YOU FACK YOU YOUAH DUHN THINK AHNUDDER AHHFLECK CAHN WIN AN AHSCAH?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anybody who has raised kids and raised a glass will understand.

This shared experience proclamation is highly presumptive; there are probably an equal amount that feel it is manipulative and condescending writing, artistic hubris at its best.

At least you watched it before you formed your opinion. Glad you liked it.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/97a02d15802a911f7f9ad51472b2ee83/tumblr_o2ny0jgdzr1u2ragso1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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WCS
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Lil’ WCS started to crawl tonight. Like, actually managing to move towards things she wants. My life is now officially over, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, consider your drinking habits, your wife should have already child-proofed everything dangerous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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WCS
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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laserguru
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Yep.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Combo chokehold + never washing your balls = keys to victory.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/27ec4c959d2783f43f72d45ac5381b84/tumblr_o2yvq2vEHz1u2ragso1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Congratulations. Now with training and sports you will be putting a lot more kms on the ol’ Dodge minivan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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WCS
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