Your mom.

1- Why is she so fat?

2- When she sits around the house, does she sit AROUND the house?

Just kidding.  We can save that for another time.  This week,  I’d like to tackle one of the pressing issues of our time.  I speak,  of course,  about the upcoming season premiere of Archer.

There has been a lot of controversy as some feel that the show is not as good as it once was.  Let’s dive in.

1. Why do people dislike the Archer Vice season?

2. Do they really dislike Burt Reynolds that much?

3. Because,  if they do,  doesn’t that mean they hate Archer period?

4. What ever happened to Jerry Reed?

5. He sounds like he would be a wide receiver for the Patriots,  doesn’t he?

6. Is Sally Field hot or cute?

7. Would anyone rub one off to a Sally Field picture?

8. Are there any legitimately hot Sallys?

9. Kinda like the name Bertha, isn’t it?

10. Does a baby girl gain 10 lbs the moment her parents name her Bertha?

11. Why did they name Lana’s baby Aubergine?

12. Seamus is a more appropriate Archer baby name,  isn’t it?

13. Do you see a Commentist naming themselves after Aubergine?

14. Wait,  was that a reference to Mallory’s dildo inside her desk?

15. Wouldn’t you then have to name her Hitachi instead?

16. Have you ever used one?

17. Pretty good,  right?

18. Did you know they make furniture that can mount those puppies?

19. It’s amazing how masturbation technology is so advanced for women but quite shitty for men,  isn’t it?

20. Do I need to qualify that to exclude gay men?

21. Is Ray your favorite character too?

22. Wouldn’t you watch the shit out of a Ray spinoff?

23. Pam has to be in it,  right?

24. And Krieger can make at least a monthly appearance?

25. Can we call that show “Boobs Akimbo”?