Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
A pair of radio professionals are standing outside the recording booth sipping coffee. CONNOR, THE INTERN is talking into his cellphone while the PRODUCER stands next to him, angrily checking his watch.
PRODUCER: Goddamnit, where is he?
CONNOR: [hanging up] His agent said he pulled up outside of the studio twenty minutes ago.
PRODUCER: Damnit, it doesn’t take that long to park. I…wait…[looks inside the recording booth]…
PRODUCER: What the hell? How did he get in there?
Both the PRODUCER and CONNOR look around in bewilderment at how AMARI COOPER managed to get into the booth without either of them noticing.
PRODUCER: [into microphone] Amari, glad you could make it. Sorry I didn’t see you come in – we’re a little tight on time here, you ready to jump right in?
AMARI COOPER: [shrugs agreeably]
PRODUCER: Great, we’re live in three…two…one…
AMARI COOPER: …
PRODUCER: [realizes Cooper is not going to say anything] So…welcome to another edition of Request Line, folks. We’re lucky to enough to have Raiders standout receiver Amari Cooper as our guest deejay for the day, Amari, you want to say hello to all the folks listening out there?
AMARI COOPER: [waves hello]
PRODUCER: Amari is waving, folks, in case you couldn’t see that, which of course you can’t, because this is [looks imploringly at Cooper] a radio show. Anyhow, Amari, you have a reputation of working incredibly hard in the offseason, and I understand that this year you added another activity to your training regimen: reading.
AMARI COOPER: [nods]
PRODUCER: …so I understand you even started your own book club to encourage people to join you in your hobby. What are you reading this month?
COOPER: [smiles faintly, holds a copy of Stephen King’s “The Stand”]
PRODUCER: Um…you know we’re on the radio here, right?
COOPER: [raises eyebrow, nods]
PRODUCER: So people can’t understand what you’re trying to tell them unless you say it.
PRODUCER: Out loud.
PRODUCER: Into the microphone.
AMARI COOPER: [leans forward] Man, enough of this talkin’ shit. Let’s just play some music.
This week’s topic: Literature! I’ll get us started with a perfect song for those Friday nights when you have no date and a two-liter bottle of Shasta. Post your requests in the comments and we’ll bundle them up for Monday.