2017 Madness – Sweet Sixteen Friday Open Thread

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

How do you ensure getting your cheer and/or dance squad featured on the preview post?  You beat one of the hated Blues, that’s how…

#4S Butler v. #1S North Carolina (7:09, CBS)

I’ve never wanted to hear a cringeworthy Jim Nantz “The Butler did it!!” pun MOAR in my entire stupid life.  P.S.  A player in this fixture served as the inspiration for a Commentist Party member’s chosen moniker.  Bonus imaginary points if’n you can figure out who.

#7E South Carolina v. #3E Baylor (7:39, TBS)

The Chickens aren’t really used to being the good guy, nor really having they basketball side having notice paid to it all (outside of being coached by a Mafia hitman).  But when you beat Coach K, then take on the embodiment of Rape Culture the next time out…you get a little following.

#3S UCLA v. #2S Kentucky (9:39, CBS)

CBS executives all simultaneously ejaculate (even the ladies).  Yes, I will still reluctantly watch.  Big Blue will roll.

#8E Wisconsin v. #4E Florida (10:09, TBS)

Time to see how good Bucky Badger’s deal with the devil is.  Nothing fluky about their win over Nova – they just beat ’em straight up.  The Gators are playing like a house of fire right now, so yet another gear needs to be found/goat to be sacrificed.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well NighWakezillaSenor Weaseloherodotus450Croooow Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

Wow, Devin Booker had 70 points tonight

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Wakezilla

Holy shit that game was incredible!

Senor Weaselo

So, would Joe Flacco call the last eight teams in this tournament ELITE?

Senor Weaselo

That whole last minute (gametime) of overtime!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Wisconsin you dumb fuck pieces of shit: foul that dude!

Croooow
Croooow

Holy Shit!!!!!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Refs should wear camo instead of stripse so we DONT NOTICE THEM AS MUCH

Senor Weaselo

Well that was exciting.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Wisconsin crushing it in the “points off offensive rebounds of blocked layups by white shooting guards” category

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that PEAK GRIT?

herodotus450
herodotus450

I don’t know, anything that involves scoring points automatically loses grit points; assists are where grit is earned.

Senor Weaselo

But offensive rebounds are gritty? There’s gotta be a formula. Calling the good Doktor!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Knee-bend angle: 5 points
Assist: 3 points
Rebound outside the 3-point arc: 3 points
Diving out of bounds to save possesion: 6 points
Diving for anything: +1
Slapping the floor: 1 point
Holding teammates back on the bench: 100 points

herodotus450
herodotus450

Ooh: Taking an inbounds pass out of bounds: 10 points

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
herodotus450
herodotus450

We’re officially calling that free throw style the “pimp grip” ritght?

Senor Weaselo

Son of Rick Barry free throw sighting!

Croooow
Croooow

Does Indiana really want Steve Alford?

herodotus450
herodotus450

All these athletes cant even pick themselves up off the floor and they want to get paid smdh? how about find yuor bootstraps and then find your hamiltons?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Does Billy Donovan have Benjamin Button disease?

herodotus450
herodotus450

The Knicks have retired two #15’s and one #613 jerseys? And they’re disfunctional?

Senor Weaselo

Wiscy-Florida might be the best basketball game played at the Garden this season.

litre_cola

Hello fellows. How are you all this evening? I want Calipari to lose and LaVar Ball pandemonium to continue?

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
Brocky

darn it, this is where the cool kids are hanging out?

figures i’d go to the wrong thread.

fuck purdue, that is all

Shogun Marcus

I’ve been informed Aaron Rodgers is at the Wisconsin game and is wearing a shirt that says midrange. That would be the beginning stages of an erection according to the urban dictionary.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have watched very little of this tourney, but now will be in the Bay area and could see an elite eight game (I want to say Zags-Zona?) in San Jose tomorrow in the nosebleeds. Worth it or fuck it?

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

That’s gonna be a goodie.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Only worth if it they pipe in the commercials to you in-arena; otherwise, what’s the point of watching a basketed ball game?

WCS

It’s actually Gonzaga-Xavier, and FUCK YES YOU SHOULD GO.

Shogun Marcus

Since I has no cable and am too lazy to stream anything…Wiscy good so far?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shouldn’t you be celebrating being old?

Shogun Marcus

Did. Done. We now return to reclusivity already in progress.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, happy birthday (again)!

Shogun Marcus

Danke kind Sir.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

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Senor Weaselo

Watson will learn all the idioms. And THEN it’ll kill us all!

WCS

Not before he changes his name to “Skynet.”

Croooow
Croooow

Only if Trump doesn’t accomplish it first.

Croooow
Croooow

Apparently someone on the Phoenix Suns scored 70 points and the team still lost. Holy crap.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The woman next to me in the boarding line for this Southwest flight just lifted her shirt to show everyone the large abdominal tattoo she has of her dead dog.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And by “Southwest flight” I assume you mean “South Texas bus station.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

People think demographic research in marketing is bullshit, but there’s a good reason you’re going to see a lot of ads for Movantik during a game that features a team from Kentucky.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think Kentucky residents have set aside double doses of whatever particular opioid they are addicted to in anticipation of making the Elite Eight?

herodotus450
herodotus450

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Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, time to go prepare the ingredients for tonight’s cocktails: Penicillins.

herodotus450
herodotus450

(Unmutes basketball for first time in 2 hours)
(30 seconds of game, then rigth back to unbelievably obnoxious commercials)
(Mute)

Croooow
Croooow

Blue Blooded programs and Jim Nantz on the call. Ugh, this is going to be an elite smug-fest.

Senor Weaselo

The good news is he probably won’t be a massive homer one way or the other?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And ads for that show “Bull” too. It’s smug night in America.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen the state of South Carolina so proud of the work done by its unpaid laborers since…hmm, probably shouldn’t finish that.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Can’t spell Secede with SEC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please don’t challenge South Carolina to a spelling contest. It’s like challenging a paraplegic to a game of hopscotch.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Maybe if we ask them to spell “rendezvous” it will take up most of their spare time and they’ll forget to vote.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, if you need to distract them just point out someone’s attractive cousin.

herodotus450
herodotus450

That explains Daughterinka Trump.

Croooow
Croooow

Frank Martin looks like a corrupt politician from 1920s Chicago.