The scene: The Castle of Death in Chihuahua, Mexico, where the DFOers have been fighting all sorts of…

Look, I’m not gonna explain it all here. This is a big episode, and if you haven’t been keeping up, all the chapters are here on DFO. Go ahead & catch up, and we’ll see you at the end, OK?

So, anyway, Doktor Zymm is looking out the yuuuge hole in the wall of the castle, trying to get JJ Fozz’s attention as he beats a clown senseless.

JJ Fozz (smacking the clown soundly): Not so tough now, are ya? Freakin’ clown!

Doktor Zymm: Fozz…? Fozz!

JJ Fozz (looking up): Oh, hey, Zymm!

Doktor Zymm (holding up the Man in Plaid #2’s tooth bomb): Fozz, I need you to get angry right now. Very angry. Und zen I vant you to tozz zis tooth into zat interdim…er, sky-hole.

JJ Fozz (smiling): Actually, I’m feeling pretty good right now, Zymm. I think I worked out a lot of issues on these clowns.

Doktor Zymm (sighing): Fozz, zis ist no time to be agreeable. Ve need you angry.

JJ Fozz (shrugging): Sorry, Zymm. I don’t know what to tell you.

Doktor Zymm: All right, zen…ve vill do zis ze hard vay. Fozz, I vant you to zink back…

JJ Fozz: Think back? Back to what?

Doktor Zymm: March 29th, 1984.

JJ Fozz (wavering): Wha… What did you say?

Doktor Zymm: March 29^th, 1984, Fozz. Zink back to zat night.

JJ Fozz (sweating): No, I… I mean, it’s no big…

Doktor Zymm: Zat znowy, empty night…

JJ Fozz (gulping): I…remember…

Doktor Zymm: Und how does zat make you feel, Fozz?

JJ Fozz (turning into a huge purple brute): FOZZ ANGRY!

Doktor Zymm: Ja, gut. Now, Fozz, catch zis tooth…

Doktor Zymm tosses the tooth down to JJ Fozz, and he catches it in one massive hand.

JJ Fozz: GRR?

Doktor Zymm: Sehr gut, Fozz. Now hurl zat tooth into ze sky-hole up zere.

JJ Fozz: FOZZ WANT SMASH IRSAY!

Doktor Zymm (rolling her eyes): Ja, vell… You zee, Irzay is in zat hole, zo if you tozz zat tooth…

JJ Fozz (leaping towards the sky-hole): FOZZ SMASH IRSAY!

Doktor Zymm (with an uncharacteristically shocked look): Oopz…

JJ Fozz’s leap carries him into the sky-hole from which the mad clowns are dropping. He becomes smaller and smaller, receding from sight. Then, just Fozz is no longer visible, there’s an explosion.

That’s an understatement, really. It’s like calling Niagra Falls a drip of water. It’s massive and reverberates for miles. The sky-hole then starts to collapse in on itself. As it does, it sucks the clowns back into it, their bodies flying up through the air and disappearing inside. The castle shakes ominously as well. In the upstairs room with Doktor Zymm, Future Moose, Ballsofsteelandfury, Covalent Blonde and Yolanda the vampire all struggle to keep from being thrown around.

Future Moose (trying to keep his footing): Holy cow, Zymm! What’d you do?

Doktor Zymm: Ended zis… I hope!

Moosemas Gorilla (running upstairs, Horatio Cornblower on his shoulder): OOK!

Horatio Cornblower: No kidding! It feels like this whole place is coming apart!

Suddenly the entire roof of the room flies apart, pieces of it swirling away in the maelstrom. Man in Plaid #2’s head is pulled up as well.

Doktor Zymm (trying to grab Man in Plaid #2’s head): Nein!

Horatio Cornblower (jumping off Moosemas Gorilla and onto Man in Plaid #2’s head): I got him!

Covalent Blonde: But who’s got you?

Horatio Cornblower: Aw, crap…

In an instant Man in Plaid #2’s head and Horatio Cornblower are gone, swept up into the rapidly shrinking portal. The DFOers can only watch, holding on for dear life themselves, as they disappear. Moments later the portal closes, shrinking into nothingness and leaving no trace of its short but harrowing existence. Bright sunlight beams down into the shattered room as the clouds clear and the blue skies reappear.  A ray of sunshine falls over Yolanda the vampire.

Yolanda (frowning): Oh, fu-

Yolanda disintegrates into a pile of dust and ash.

Ballsofsteelandfury: Aww…

Moosemas Gorilla (glancing around sadly): Ook…?

Covalent Blonde (looking at the devastation): Well, son of a…

Cut to: The In-N-Out across the street from the DFO clubhouse. Litre Cola and The Maestro are walking out of the store with a box of Diggler’s Donuts and heading across the street.

Litre Cola (eating a Diggler Double-Dipped): I’m glad we stopped there first.

The Maestro: Definitely. That clerk was helpful, eh?

Litre Cola: Oh, sure. He really gave us a rundown of this town. Can you believe they have a 36” waffle here?

The Maestro: I’ll believe it after I eat it, eh?

They approach the DFO clubhouse and The Maestro knocks on the door.

Litre Cola: Why are you knockin’, eh? We’re supposed to be the only ones here.

The Maestro: Just bein’ polite. This is America. You don’t wanna just barge in somewhere unannounced. That’s how you get shot at, eh?

Liter Cola: Hey, what do you call an American who doesn’t own a gun?

The Maestro (still knocking): What?

Liter Cola: The victim, eh?

The Maestro (still knocking): That’s jokes!

Cut to: Inside the DFO clubhouse. Future Clone Debbie Harry is just finishing hanging an upside down Unsurprised from the rafters above a large plexiglass tank.

Future Clone Debbie Harry: There! Now I just have to find some mutant piranha…

Unsurprised: Um…I think there’s someone at the door.

Future Clone Debbie Harry: Oh, bother! Lackey, answer that! Lackey!

Future Clone Debbie Harry glances around.

Future Clone Debbie Harry (to Unsurprised): Have you seen that useless lackey of mine?

Unsurprised: Can’t say that I have.

Future Clone Debbie Harry: Well, frek! Where could he be?

Cue music:

Cut to: Unsurprised’s car hurtling down an empty road in the desert. PK is at the wheel and Man in Plaid #1 is sprawled across the back seat, sparking and buzzing.

PK: We’ll see who’s the ignoramus now! I mean, if I knew what that was, I’d probably be really mad!

Man in Plaid #1: Zzt…ggrk… Malfunctioning. Error. Error.

PK (sniffing): An’ here I thought we were partners! Or at least, y’know…

Man in Plaid #1: Grblk. Initiating self-destruct…

PK: Like, teammates. Y’know? Like Tommy and Gronk!

Man in Plaid #1: Countdown…zrrk…commencing…

PK: Or Big Ben an’ Hines Ward! Or…

Man in Plaid #1: Ten…nine…

PK: Yeah! Like good ol’ number nine, Tony Romo! See, you get it!

Man in Plaid #1: Eight…seven…zrk…five…

PK: But that’s okay, ’cause you an’ me are gonna be buddies now!

Man in Plaid #1: Four…three…

PK (glancing in the rear view mirror): Hey, you OK, buddy? You’re lookin’ kinda…weird…

Man in Plaid #1: Two…

PK: Hey! I know what’ll cheer you up! I know a great coffee place!

Man in Plaid #1: One…

PK: It’s only a few hours down the road! Just don’t order the double-mocha. They skimp on the whipped cre-

To be continued…