Your “Tears Are Something To Hide” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

 

NFL News: two days until the Draft.

  • Adrian Peterson has indeed signed a two-year, $7 million contract with the Saints.
    • it’s effectively one-year, plus incentives, with a team-option for a second.
    • Oh – the Saints open in Minnesota Week-1.
  • No one can blame him: AJ McCarron wants out of Cincinnati.
    • the main problem is that:
      • Mike Brown is a cheap bastard, so wants too much in a trade.
      • due to injuries & time lost, the Bengals are sure to argue McCarron isn’t a free-agent after 2017.
Too bad he only has this to go home to.
  • On the heels of his dilute sample being announced comes word some teams are questioning Jabrill Peppers’ commitment to his team, given that he skipped the Orange Bowl day-of.
    • some mock drafts now have him falling out of the first-round altogether.
  • Taking Peppers’ name off the front page is Ohio State CB Gareon Conley, who is being investigated for rape.
  • Not willing to be one-upped by Mark Davis announcing the Raiders will announce their Saturday picks from the Las Vegas road sign, the Texans will have their Saturday picks announced from the International Space Station.
    • since Houston is home of the Johnson Space Center, you see.

Finally, your long-read of the day is ESPN‘s account of Aaron Rodgers’ terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Draft day.

Something he’s done repeatedly since 2009.

Your non-sports long-read is this – frankly – excellent article at Deadspin about Yakov Smirnoff, the father of the “In Russia, Party finds you!” style of joke.


Canada 150:

April 25, 1959 – The St. Lawrence Seaway is open for business.

The St Lawrence Seaway (Great Lakes Waterway) is the system of locks, canals and channels linking the Great Lakes and the St Lawrence River with the Atlantic Ocean.

The construction of progressively larger canals along the St Lawrence River began as early as 1783. By 1900, a complete network of shallow draft canals allowed uninterrupted navigation from Lake Superior to Montréal. The cost of the navigation project was $470.3 million, of which Canada paid $336.5 million and the U.S. $133.8 million. The waterway, some 3,700 km long from Île d’Anticosti to the head of Lake Superior, permits vessels of up to 225.5 m long, 23.8 m wide and a maximum draft (i.e., the distance between the top of the water and the bottom of the ship) of 8.1 m to sail from Montréal to Duluth, Minnesota, on Lake Superior.

The Seaway is connected by six canals (South Shore, Beauharnois, Wiley-Dondero, Iroquois, Welland and St. Mary’s Falls) and is comprised of 19 locks. All but two of the locks (Snell and Eisenhower located in Messina, N.Y.) are Canadian. The Welland Canal boasts the most locks with eight. It takes the average ship 45 minutes to pass through a lock.

The official opening ceremony took place the following day in St. Lambert, Quebec, with Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, Prime Minister John G. Diefenbaker, and President and Mrs. Dwight D. Eisenhower in attendance.

On average, 44 million tonnes of cargo moves through the system each year, although 2016 was a down year with only 35 million tonnes moved.

Without the Seaway system, we’d never have this song.

On Day 1 of a trade war between Canada & the US, it’s important to remember a time when both countries could work together on issues, rather than simply appealing to nativist sentiments to further personal agendas.

Sources: Library & Archives Canada; Canadian EncyclopediaCBC


Tonight’s sports:

  •  NBA:
    • Thunder at Rockets – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Jazz at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Cardinals – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • Premier Boxing Champions:
    • Barrios-Lara (super lightweights) – 9:00PM | FS1

Since there’s very little on tonight, please to enjoy the April 1, Season 3 premiere episode of Rick & Morty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5MjfEMMuLc

BRING BACK THE SAUCE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

For the O&A people: Jimmy now has a Chip Chipperson podcast, and Anthony is actually funny on it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am just still extremely angry at my school right now about them saying I owe them money. Teacher missed her sixth class tonight. 2 is still fail the student. There wasn’t even a note on the door. Just didn’t show up.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

2 things. I swear to god every room I live in is somehow 90 degrees when it is 50 degrees outside and the AC is on.

Second. My blue Adidas shirt combined with the black, red trimmed Adidas hoody actually looks awesome in practice. I need to wear it more often. I wasn’t lying about the 90. so i went immediately back to boxers after the cig.

Unsurprised

Damn.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That Yakov Smirnoff piece was indeed fantastic reading

Unsurprised

So how goes things?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They go.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I wish I was on Twitter so I could send this to ZODIAC_MF, since he tweeted the original stills.