So, I have to be the designated driver at a wedding tonight. It is for one of my wife’s colleagues. I’m pretty certain it’s a ploy to keep me from embarrassing her. The tedium of the whole event will be staggering without a drink in my hand.
Joke’s on her – I don’t need alcohol to be a jackass at a work function. I’mma gon’ turn this into a werk function.
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Edmonton at BC – 10:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- MLB:
- Angels at Red Sox – 7:00PM | FOX (?) / Sportsnet
- MMA:
- Bellator MMA: Davis vs. Bader – 8:00PM | SPK, CMT
- Left turns:
- NASCAR XFINITY Series: American Ethanol E15 250 – 8:30PM | FS1 / TSN2
They seem nice.
Why did I look at the comments on the news site…..
“Old Look”
“New Look”
Again, that’s:
“Old Look”
“New Look”
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sculpture-class/n11144?snl=1
She seems awesome, NSFW. https://gfycat.com/WideHalfAnglerfish
Also,Vika Kereces showering. https://gfycat.com/ShockingDimwittedJellyfish
Choo Choo Rat is a pussy. Apologies…and one you paid for to boot?????
You gotta own that shit, Choo Choo. Then go to his house and punch him again causing him hurt and pain. In front of his wife and kids!!!!!!!
:belch:
I LOVE this episode!!!!!!!
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/f2afa0c30234de1c70bcafbc3942c1a9/tumblr_orrtn0sFB71ric2iqo1_400.gif
I have brought doughnuts in to work before….. I work at the wrong place.
Is it wrong that I’m sizing up that hole?
(the doughnut hole you perverts)
((wait that doesn’t make it better))
Never mind.
We are not here to pass judgement on your desire to fuck a big smiley face doughnut. We still have some freedoms left in this country.
Cool. Happy to know that what happens between an adult male (totally not me) and his consenting vacuum cleaner is still sacred.
Yeah, it’s racist. But it’s funny, sorry.
I feel a power nap coming, see if youze are all here after a few…
If this film somehow makes a live action aquaman seem cool. ..
Idk, fuck it
WTF is that?
Aquaman is what happens when your drunken sailor father inpregnates your meremom
https://youtu.be/rl9ADiXBiQI
Wish I would have known that sooner.
Aquaman on the Batmobile from the Justice League trailer.
Also, $100 says they shoe horn a scene with Margot robbie as harley Quinn in somewhere
Jason Momoa is a pretty cool-seeming dude. Then again, he was in the Conan remake.
Watching the Astros and Mariners playing in throwback unis and it is awesome. It’s like the acid flashback I’ll never have until I actually do acid.
When Norm hears acid will give him a flashback trip 30, 40, even 50 years later and he, as a guy who likes to get the most bang for his drug dollar, he says it’s a great deal. But then he takes it and the flashback trip doesn’t come so he blames it on Big Acid selling a promise they have no intention to fulfill.
Who da fuq is Norm?
Norm Macdonald from his Netflix special
Goddammit, I’ve gotta get one of those kodi box things.
It’s on various streaming aggregators, too. Like solar movie .st or f movie .io
I have no idea how to use that kind of stuff. Also, I prefer to watch on tv rather than the computer, so the dummy-proofed version of the kodi box would probably be my best bet.
My wife and I were out to dinner last night and I guy walked in with a T-shirt with Bob’s face surrounded by the cosmos on it.
It was awesome.
He is very relaxing. And he likes trees. Not all trees are perfect, you know.
I was once watching the show and his voice put a six-month old puppy to sleep.
Well, that and the vet with the syringe.
Dad said they were taking him to a big farm where he could run and play!!!!!!
He also said he was proud of your participation trophy.
Jesus, dude.
And that he only hits your mom and you because he loves you so much.
Bob always claimed that there are no mistakes, only happy accidents. My mom always looked at me, smiled, then nodded when we heard him say that on PBS.
She’s checking…..yep, still there.
Can’t blame her. If I had a rack like that I’d never leave the house.
I’d jump rope in front of a mirror while naked until I had a heart attack.
So about 6 minutes.
Great 6 minutes, though.
(which should not necessarily be construed as me saying that you personally have great tits)
((dammit….get the lawyers in here))
Five of ’em would be great anyway.
How many mini-Ditkas can Horatio bang in 6 minutes?
Sorry….5 minutes.
In a Ditka-banging situation, your are clearly the bang-ee, not the bang-er. Yes, even mini-Ditkas. It just makes the tearing less severe.
Yeah they are.
Deciding on which local news to watch.
NBC has a hot blonde weekend anchor, ABC has an equally hot Latina.
CBS has two dudes, so that’s out. I take my local news seriously you guys!
That medallion would have pulled him under, chick is on her own.
Note to self: Subject: New come on line:
Hey baby, that’s one slippery ass you got there.
Note to self: Early feedback less than positive.
http://olivethepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Kumar-Weed-Dream.gif
This should help with the problematic non-https urls.
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/129/137/tumblr_lm2yd4TxwL1qanb21o1_500.gif
Don’t call ME racist, you little no front teeth having bastard.
Wait is calling him a bastard racist?
SONOFABITCH!!!!!!!!!
Convenience store beer selections are decidedly limited. Supermarket is better, but too much effort.
First World problems can be hard, ppl forget that.
I have a WaWa down the street that carries Victory, Cigar City, New Belgium, and Sierra Nevada. I’m really glad WaWa has infiltrated my region. Also, soup.
Sorry. Had to.
Yeah, I knew it was coming. I actually changed it from “area” and realized that “region” wasn’t any better, so I just figured I’d take the hit.
Yeah, I knew it was coming……so I just figured I’d take the hit.
LMFAO
Really sorry tho, honest.
Did I make it back on time?
Huh? Did you leave?
Shit, this thing won’t light!!!!!
Crackycane.
See? Now if the inventors of crack had only called it “crackycane”….?
That has a much more positive connotation.
MARKETING PEEPUHL!!!!!!!!!!
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ttp://wrestlingpundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/i7b3Sp1.gif
So hey man, what time was Romonobyl supposed to be back?
Beer run. If I’m not back in 15 minutes, wake the president.
You can count on me.
Maybe.
I don’t know modern dance, but I know what I like.
Her technical is sharp, but it’s her interpretive which….
Ah fuck it….great tits, great abs, great ass (I’m presuming but I feel safe).
9.6
Could never bang.
Yeah, but when the time comes to make the roux, he’ll eat the butter and snort the flour.
Little freak.
My mom always said the cat was “making bread”. Guess she was right.
No, that won’t cause any nightmares at all.
Finally get to play, and there are TWO open threads???// Shenanigans I say…forthwith!!!!
Indubitably.
Harummmphf.
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ttp://s.pikabu.ru/post_img/2012-12_5/1356374123_3174387.gif
Fortunately, my monocle has a lanyard for efficient retrieval.
Yes, very wise indeed.
Tit pistol, eh? Well perhaps you’d like to meet scrotum knife!!!
/ouch dammit!!!!!!!
That is one talented little pussy.
/drops mic
So the crocodile is a Cleveland Browns “fan”?
h
ttp://cdn.gifbay.com/2013/04/very_very_interesting_report-43915.gif
Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated?
— My Penis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NPBIwQyPWE
Hypnotizing.
Weird….but hypnotizing.
Just weird.
NOT Hypnotizing.
Was with nickelback, 1/10 might consider with extensive precleaning.
I’ll take your turn.
Thanks.
I DIDN’T RULE IT OUT.
Hehehehehehe
That Crocodile Dundee….what an actor?!?!?!?!
YO
Yo Yo
Thankfully there are no riots after two hung juries allowing a killer cop goes free. Hopefully the prosecution will drop murder and replace with Negligent Homicide (murder is a stretch but cut your losses and get this guy in jail, but keep Voluntary Manslaughter in case you get a good jury) and hopefully if a riot does break out, hopefully they’ll decide not to burn down their own houses and stores and remember where the rich, white people live who have nice, valuable expensive stuff.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Samuel_DuBose
George Soros is providing the buses to Shaker Heights, right?
No, but Cincy is only 4 hours away and we also know the rioters are bussed in from out of town (rolls eyes – I love Conservative Talk Radio).
(T)werk function?
Btw, GREAT obscure Cure track!
Seconded.
I am actually watching women’s golf.
I blame tWBS.
Might as well. I get blamed for everything else.
(yes, deservedly probably….but still….it hurts my feelings)
I wasn’t complaining.
I bet, considering it’s your stuff I’m getting blamed for.
😛
And I wasn’t serious.
Well except for the whole me deserving blame thing. Ya know bcuz….I’m a dick.
But since I have no feelings the rest was just a joke.