Your “You Don’t Have Beerguy To Kick Around For A While” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Zach Orr is coming out of retirement, after being told by doctors that his congenital spinal condition is not as bad as first feared.
    • His risk as been downgraded to “just like anyone else who plays that position”.
    • Luckily, he has a crack medical team behind him.

  • The Eagles are also giving LeGarrette Blount a weight incentive.
    • I guess because he no longer fears the capricious hand of a vindictive master coach.
  • Drew Brees is tired of all those fat kids in his jersey, so he started a flag football league.
    • It’s a co-ed youth flag football enterprise called the Football ‘N’ America League.
    • It’s also a way to get kids into the game without contact at an early age.

Well, I’m off on vacation. I got my wife Adele tickets for Christmas, and the concert is at Wembley on July 2. (I had to do something – she caught me on the internet at 2:00AM; I said it was ordering tickets, because why else would I be constantly hitting refresh?) The Canadian embassy is hosting a party in Trafalgar Square on July 1, so I’ll be hitting that.

I’m 48 & married, so I’m not hitting this.

After that, it’s off to Italy to meet up with my brother & his wife, for a week in Tuscany at the villa he’s rented.

Despite lies about availability.

After that, down to Rome for a couple of days before flying home. It’ll be like I’m my own Gothic invasion!

The hardest part of the whole thing has been convincing the mothers that, despite the recent news, we are going to be fine. My “If they didn’t lock up every guy named Seamus in the 80s, they’re not worried about guys named Ahmed in the 21st Century,” didn’t change their minds but did let them know I heard what they said. At least my mother-in-law is staying at the house to look after the dog, so that’s a comfort. To be safe, I’ve moved the porn & good booze to the crawl space in case the rest of the family visits.

See you in mid-July, unless I get blowed up.

Blowed up real good!

The volunteers filling this space will likely make you wish I’d never return.


Tonight’s sports: Curse Cthulhu, there’s not even a national baseball game tonight. (In America.)

  • Beisbol:
    • Orioles at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Dodgers at Angels – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  Futbol:
    • U.S. Open Cup Soccer 2017:
      • FC Cincinnati vs. Chicago – 8:00PM | ESPN2

See you in a couple of weeks. Until then, this Saturday

  

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Your “Anything But The Grammys” Sunday Evening Open Thread – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Damn, everyone is gone. Sleeping like normal people. I have been up for a few hours. My system of 2 fans aimed at me from either side got me 4 hours of sleep which is honestly great for me but i was still up at 2:30

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Note to self: Eat dinner before drinking all the wine you incomparable buffoon. And don’t look at the bathroom when you’re drunk and just got home or your stomach gets ideas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Love the monobrow.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Hi Mom!”

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