Request Line: GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

A young man sits inside a recording booth, looking relaxed and happy.  The PRODUCER is outside the booth, punching buttons and counting off with his fingers.  For once, everything seems to be running quite smoothly.  

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line!  We are beyond thrilled to welcome today’s guest to the studio, Raiders franchise quarterback Derek Carr.

DEREK: Thanks for having me, it’s a pleasure to be here.

PRODUCER: So when I said “franchise” I wasn’t kidding, just this week you inked a deal making you the highest paid player in the NFL and locking you in as a Raider for the next five years.

DEREK: That’s right.  I’m honored that the Raiders consider me to be such a valuable part of the team, and looking forward to training camp now that it’s all been resolved.

PRODUCER: I understand there was a bit of difficulty getting the deal done?

DEREK: Yeah, but not in the way that people think.

PRODUCER: Oh?

DEREK: Mainly it was just communication issues.  Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”.  It was hard to get a word in edgewise.  But it worked out fine in the end.  I really wanted to make sure we could structure things to keep the core of the team together, and we’re on the right track as far as that’s concerned.  Gabe Jackson just got his deal done too, we should be in good position to lock Khalil Mack back up next year.

PRODUCER: How’s the leg feel?

DEREK: Great, great.  Or as Marcus Mariota would put it, quack, quack.

PRODUCER: It seems like you two are destined to build a nice rivalry, with the Titans franchise seeming to have turned a corner of their own.

DEREK: I’m hoping so.  They’re our first opponent this year, and I know Marcus is looking forward to the season as much as I am.

PRODUCER: So are you ready to play some music?

DEREK: I sure am.  I thought for a topic today we’d go with songs about “money”.  Give us a call, folks, and let us know what you want to hear, and for a price (ha ha ha) I’ll give it a spin.  I’ll get us started with one that I myself had never heard before being introduced to it here on Request Line.

As the song plays, the PRODUCER takes off his headphones and turns to CONNOR, THE INTERN.  

PRODUCER: You know, that’s probably the smoothest lead-in we’ve ever hard.

CONNOR: [shakes himself awake] Huh?

PRODUCER: Yeah…yeah.

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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SonOfSpam
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Every time we’d sit down to work on terms, Mark Davis would start pounding on the table with his fists and yelling “GIVE DEREK ALL THE MONEY”.

That’s pure gold.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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ABBA? ABBA.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Ha!! Nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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theeWeeBabySeamus
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I will take your on theme offering and fuck it in the ear:

SonOfSpam
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80s computer graphics are the best computer graphics. Also, mullets.

SonOfSpam
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Rihanna’s best jam

SonOfSpam
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Lonely Island Double Shot!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
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theeWeeBabySeamus
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theeWeeBabySeamus
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SonOfSpam
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So many to choose from…let’s go with an obvious one:

blaxabbath
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wpDiscuz