Request Line: Navigation

INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY

A pair of young men are driving a rental car through the streets of Culver City.  The one driving is clutching the steering wheel frantically and whipping his head around in frustration, while the passenger fumbles around with a folding map.

JARED GOFF: Where ARE we?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: I don’t know, I don’t know!

JARED GOFF: Goddamnit.  I’m pulling over.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Don’t stop, we’re late already!  Just go west.

JARED GOFF: [grumbles] Fine.

JARED GOFF continues driving straight.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Dude, I said go west.

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Jesus, do you not even know what fucking direction west is?

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: See the sun? It’s past noon, so the sun is in the west.  Drive towards the sun, stupid.

JARED GOFF turns and begins driving west.

JARED GOFF: And then what?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…I’m not sure where we are on the map.

JARED GOFF: [peering out the windshield] We’re on Jefferson, the cross street is…Somerset.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…

JARED GOFF: Dude, do you not even know how to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: DUDE I WENT TO FUCKING UNC THEY DON’T TEACH US THAT SHIT THERE!

JARED GOFF: How to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Uh, yeah, that.

JARED GOFF: Ah, fuck.  Might as well pull over now.  It’s two o’clock.

— [radio flies open] —

DJ 3000: [as excited as a computer-generated voice can possibly sound] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO REQUEST LINE.  I’M YOUR HOST DJ 3000, FILLING IN FOR JARED GOFF AND MITCHELL TRUBISKY WHO APPARENTLY WERE HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH THE NAVIGATION FEATURE ON THEIR CELLPHONES…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY and JARED GOFF: [in unison] Hey!

DJ 3000: …BUT DON’T YOU FRET AND DON’T YOU FROWN CAUSE YOUR OLD PAL DJ 3000 IS HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO ROCK AND ROLL TOWN.  TODAY’S THEME IS ‘NAVIGATION’ SO WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT MAPS, COMPASS DIRECTIONS, BEING LOST, THAT KIND OF STUFF.  I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A CLASSIC FROM THE CHURCH.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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JerBear50
JerBear50
JerBear50
JerBear50
laserguru

How the fuck do you get lost in Culver City?
Ain’t but 4 fucking streets!

Now Hollywood on the other hand…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXIuAz7aryo

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It was brought to Buddy’s attention that he sometimes makes the same Aaron Rodgers is a dubious pansexual joke rather frequently. Guilty as charged, motherfuckers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzllVlzzeuo

Wakezilla

A different kind of navigation

Khia: My Neck, My Back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMB2uCTTvJ0

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Doubled up (and worth watching even if you hate the song)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22EwI3QN2Ls

theeWeeBabySeamus

My sincere apologies. Like seriously, even I hate myself for this one. A really really lot.
But I still gotta…..
(don’t click it)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM

JerBear50
theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, I can’t stand that fucking song anymore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But I’ll double it up anyway…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN5s9N_pTUs

King Hippo

You have to listen to the lyrics, but it TOTES fits perfect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF45jk0_SJc

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know I post it on every theme I can but it fits, so shut up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why yes, I DID win a TV reality show to get my job bcuz some guy hanged himself…why do you ask?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8SSDvDI5yg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well darn, now RTD is gonna hate me. Again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LhCd1W2V0Q

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I love the youtube title for this clip. And the answer is yes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ak4vjiNzw

King Hippo

“Hey, all publicity is good publicity so’s long as theys spell your name raght??”

– The South

King Hippo