Coach Duchess Takes a Knee

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*Blows Whistle



Alright everybody bring it in!

Take a knee, boys. Skylar god damn it I said take a knee not two a knee. Taking two knees are for girls, and you’ll understand that when you get older. Now shut up everyone listen while I am talking to you. See boys this is what I wanted to talk to you about, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect. You show me your coach respect by taking a knee and I am showing you respect by taking a knee down with you so we can all talk to each other on the same level.

We show respect for a fallen teammate or even a fallen opponent by taking a knee if they are on the field injured. Injured not hurt, right Robinson?

And if the god we knelt to before the game and prayed to for a win proves to be more powerful than the god the other team knelt and prayed to, and we are staring at victory. Then, boys, we show our respect to the other side, not by running up the score to the point I get suspended from next weeks game, but we snap the ball and run the best god damn play in every football teams playbook. We take a knee. That’s the greatest feeling in the world now, isn’t it?

Well, second to when you get that girl to take two knees, amiright coaches?

See boys we show respect to our coaches, our teammates, our opponents, and our GODS by taking a knee. Taking a knee is the ultimate show of respect. Except when those overpaid monk… er dar…. “ATHLETES” take a knee during the second greatest song, behind Freebird, our National Anthem. That, boys, is the greatest sign of disrespect to our veterans. Our commander in Chief didn’t claim a foot injury so he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam, then say a former POW isn’t a hero because he got captured, then pledge money from pep rallies to Vet groups only to not not give the money until reporters kept asking him about it, then delegate the go/no-go order to an operation that put servicemen’s lives at risk to a person whose only qualification is that he’s boning his daughter only to then blame the former President when the operation failed, then who doesn’t even put his hand over his heart and talks through the anthem and told reporters he hasn’t called the family members of servicemen who have died because it’s really hard for him, just so these “ATHLETES” could disrespect our flag and servicemen by taking a knee in the form of silent protest against institutional racism.

Alright, now we have a big game this weekend against Chantilly, Where I am planning you boys will take a knee no more than five times.
1st During my pregame talk
2nd during our pregame prayer
3rd when Brock here hits the other Quarterback so hard, he limps off the field
4th When we are winning in the 4th quarter by over two scores
And lastly, 5th time during our post-game talk. Now bring it in here, and I’ll see you boys tomorrow.

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“What can I get for these old things?”
– RGIII, misreading the title


I’d say tweet this at the President, but he wouldn’t get the sarcasm


I’m resisting with all my might not to just burn down everything with my hot takes.


I mean, it is (informally) HOT TAEK week here at DFO, so you shouldn’t feel compelled to hold back.


I thought this was American Jobs Week and that’s why the President was calling Gold Star mothers to let them know that they got what was comin’ to ’em.


Comrade, if my face isn’t melting from your taek, then you’re going to get a tummy ache from keeping it in. Let it out.


Obviously you don’t coach in a CYO league.

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Trent’s mom is looking pretty hot today. You know, they keep saying his dad has been out of town but I heard they’re getting a divorce…


I was taking a dump while I read this. If that’s not respect to the post, I don’t know what is.