Your “What Day Is It In Mexico?” NFL Open Thread

I think today is a good day to celebrate my non-existent Mexican heritage by eating a brand of chip that has no real connection to Hispanic culture but hints at it in the name. Behold, “Munchos”! Imagine if you will the end result of a jar of Pringles having a three-way with a salt lick and a teenager with cystic acne. Bang! There’s your Munchos. They will make you drink though, and if you choose booze you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a desert in your throat. Where am I going with this? I’ve no idea. TO THE GAMES!

Buf/LAC: The Bills D was onto something as late as three weeks ago but then gave up a combined 81 points in their last two “adventures”. Maker of Children Phil Rivers has been cleared to play by an independent consultant that is paid to give that specific diagnosis. Tyrod Taylor gets the benching and fifth-round rook Nathan Peterman makes his first start. I hope his previous experience as a buttoned-down, blonde, blue-eyed president of a Harvard fraternity house prepared him adequately for his new role.

Cin/Den: The Broncs only give up 305 yds. per game but have been buzz-sawed by opponents to the tune of 92 points in their last two outings. On the offensive side, the Bengals inability to run the ball will be countered by Denver’s pathetic qb play. The adjective “watchable” is taking the day off here.

NE/Oak: Ah, Raiders-where did it all go wrong? One little hint that I can see is that the team’s leading receiver isn’t a Crabtree or a Cooper but is actually a Cook. And you know what they say about too many cooks, right? They throw the baby out with the brothwater or something like that. The Pats are favoured by just 7 but have won their last three by an average of 16.

Saddle up, partners-we’ve work to do!

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King Hippo

alright, only game so I “get” to watch all of Brock Lobster’s 40 second drill.

King Hippo

think Jeeeeem is gonna cum over the P*ts

Doktor Zymm

I read that as T*ts cause my brain is feeeelthy

rockingdog

My friend has a theory that Gostkowski is a cyborg

Viva La Tabula Raza

just lost my CBS feed, but it looks like its back in time for the record attempt

Brick Meathook

All these crime-fighting agencies on CBS, and none of them seem to have a dress code.

Doktor Zymm

Only law firms and banks have dress codes nowadays.

King Hippo

and law firms are getting pretty slack, thank fuck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“If it is good enough for de club, it is good enough for de crime fighting work.

[Sifts through dumpster for evidence in heels and $1,000 suit….. gets out clean and pressed]

Doktor Zymm

Loving the Bay Area so far, and I’m eating way more vegetables now! Not today though, today I am eating carbs and booze and cheese.

rockingdog

Bay AREA!!!!! TELL ME WHEN TO GO!!!!
Enjoy it Doktor! Have fun!!!

King Hippo

Donks are bad, y’all. We even lost to Buffalo, mind.

rockingdog

Goal for me: Take some computer science classes. So I can understand what all theses things mean….

  • `
    [spoiler title=” “]

Doktor Zymm

Just read an html wiki

rockingdog

Found it!

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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King Hippo

sometimes in life, Anthony Lynn, we have to admit we have made a terrible boo boo

rockingdog

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Funble!

Doktor Zymm

Damn. I should have waited to buy my Raiders ticket. That alone might have driven prices down.

King Hippo

5 in a half for catalog boy!

Doktor Zymm

I’m kinda sad that Gilmore doesn’t have children by a lot of women, cause then Gilmore Girls jokes

...

Wait, the Chiefs lost to the GIANTS?!

rockingdog

Welcome to the party dude!

Doktor Zymm

And the Bears had offensive TDs. You missed a lot in the early games.

King Hippo

but Barth was still BARTH!

King Hippo

face guarding – only allowed for NE

rockingdog

Yea thats weird. Should have been flag….

Doktor Zymm

WOOO MEL THE ONLY SHITTY CLIPPERS PLAYER I CARE ABOUT!

King Hippo

so….these late fixtures, huh?

rockingdog

First time hearing Tony Romo as announcer. He is Fun!
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Mother Puncher

Leave to Dalton to pick the wrong option on a triple option. Too many options.

Doktor Zymm

Didn’t Sports Authority go out of business? Did they pay in advance for naming rights for X number of years? Wouldn’t it make sense to try and resell those?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any authorities on sports products.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, there is an apostrophe! Sport’s Authority!

Doktor Zymm

lulls < lulz HOMONYMS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

rockingdog

LOL remember when that Super Bowl Brady jersey went to Mexico City?

Doktor Zymm

Serious question : Why no NFL in Canada?

Doktor Zymm

Do y’all Celcius?

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Hmm, a lot of pepper in the garlic crackers, which is….not bad, but somewhat overwhelms the garlic

rockingdog

Cooks has 69 receiving yrds. NICE!

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Bunnies. ^_^

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Doktor Zymm

Wait…is the bunny a bitch, or is the bunny calling you a bitch?

...

/extreme pedant voice

Actually the last mood is not a mood and moreover a rabbit’s only blind spot is directly in front of it’s face so it would never turn to look at you.

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rockingdog

Xmas ape twitter is good: Despite Trump’s campaign promises, all the touchdowns are now moving abroad.
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Doktor Zymm

MAKE MEXICO PAY TO MAKE THE RAIDERS D INTO A WALL

...

This reminds me that Brady will probably get 500 TD passes and we’ll get something obnoxious like this:

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Doktor Zymm

I kinda wish there was a video game that was basically Pacman, but with a little Gronk monster and the pacman noise replaced with GRONK-GRONK-GRONK

Redshirt

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Reposting since Dok’s request for the D waylaid the round:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hollywood/NFL before and after

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s try an “R”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ R| _ _ _ R _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Doktor Zymm

T

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Negative

...

This was posted on Twitter with the words “When you win solitaire on the computer.”

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Doktor Zymm

Holy shit, that’s perfect

rockingdog

Bros being Bros.

rockingdog

Virginia Black. One sip and wooooo!

King Hippo

I’m expecting streakers at Mile High, this is getting ridiculous

Doktor Zymm

GET ON IT MICROBREWERIES
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Three Repo Man references in one day. Are you stalking my brain?

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably my favorite movie, and it’s rare anyone gets it. Though top tip, don’t make relationship decisions based on their opinion of Repo Man

Viva La Tabula Raza

Glad to find another member of the cosmic unconscious. I too number it among one of my favorite movies of all time.
The only women I’ve ever met that passed the “Repo test” were already spoken for.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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JustStopDude

Hue Jackson is now got a 3.84% winning record as coach of the Browns.

That is half as bad as Rod Rust’s winning percentage when he was coach of the New England Patriots.

Doktor Zymm

I mean, that doesn’t seem that bad considering?

JustStopDude

Whoops I am an idiot. Its twice as bad. Rod Rust went 1-15.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Bengals scoring at will is possibly the strongest indictment yet of the broncos defense

King Hippo

not quite sure everything is hunky-dory in the locker room

rockingdog

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Whoooo Jared Cook with the reception for the raiders!

Doktor Zymm

Who the fuck are all these not AJ Green people?

Redshirt

Yes! Touchdown Bengals!

No! Not AJ Green!

Doktor Zymm

So….you’re having a nice bottle of wine?

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mount Vernon Davis? Well, if everyone else is….

– A. Rodgers

Doktor Zymm

VERY IMPORTANT WHICH CRACKER SHOULD I EAT FIRST ; ROSEMARY, RED CHILI, GARLIC

rockingdog

Red Chili

Doktor Zymm

Good call, that is a tasty cracker

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Roy Moore.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hollywood/NFL before and after

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, that’s a long one!
It’s a long shot, but I feel like a D

BrettFavresColonoscopy

:stifles jokes:

No D for you

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I realized a second after I posted that…’phrasing’

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From our very own Make it Snow via Twitter:

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King Hippo

You gonna die on this J. Peterman hill, Anthony Lynn?