I think today is a good day to celebrate my non-existent Mexican heritage by eating a brand of chip that has no real connection to Hispanic culture but hints at it in the name. Behold, “Munchos”! Imagine if you will the end result of a jar of Pringles having a three-way with a salt lick and a teenager with cystic acne. Bang! There’s your Munchos. They will make you drink though, and if you choose booze you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a desert in your throat. Where am I going with this? I’ve no idea. TO THE GAMES!
Buf/LAC: The Bills D was onto something as late as three weeks ago but then gave up a combined 81 points in their last two “adventures”. Maker of Children Phil Rivers has been cleared to play by an independent consultant that is paid to give that specific diagnosis. Tyrod Taylor gets the benching and fifth-round rook Nathan Peterman makes his first start. I hope his previous experience as a buttoned-down, blonde, blue-eyed president of a Harvard fraternity house prepared him adequately for his new role.
Cin/Den: The Broncs only give up 305 yds. per game but have been buzz-sawed by opponents to the tune of 92 points in their last two outings. On the offensive side, the Bengals inability to run the ball will be countered by Denver’s pathetic qb play. The adjective “watchable” is taking the day off here.
NE/Oak: Ah, Raiders-where did it all go wrong? One little hint that I can see is that the team’s leading receiver isn’t a Crabtree or a Cooper but is actually a Cook. And you know what they say about too many cooks, right? They throw the baby out with the brothwater or something like that. The Pats are favoured by just 7 but have won their last three by an average of 16.
Saddle up, partners-we’ve work to do!
alright, only game so I “get” to watch all of Brock Lobster’s 40 second drill.
think Jeeeeem is gonna cum over the P*ts
I read that as T*ts cause my brain is feeeelthy
My friend has a theory that Gostkowski is a cyborg
just lost my CBS feed, but it looks like its back in time for the record attempt
All these crime-fighting agencies on CBS, and none of them seem to have a dress code.
Only law firms and banks have dress codes nowadays.
and law firms are getting pretty slack, thank fuck
“If it is good enough for de club, it is good enough for de crime fighting work.
[Sifts through dumpster for evidence in heels and $1,000 suit….. gets out clean and pressed]
Loving the Bay Area so far, and I’m eating way more vegetables now! Not today though, today I am eating carbs and booze and cheese.
Bay AREA!!!!! TELL ME WHEN TO GO!!!!
Enjoy it Doktor! Have fun!!!
Donks are bad, y’all. We even lost to Buffalo, mind.
Goal for me: Take some computer science classes. So I can understand what all theses things mean….
Just read an html wiki
Found it!
sometimes in life, Anthony Lynn, we have to admit we have made a terrible boo boo
Funble!
Damn. I should have waited to buy my Raiders ticket. That alone might have driven prices down.
5 in a half for catalog boy!
Forward progress?
I’m kinda sad that Gilmore doesn’t have children by a lot of women, cause then Gilmore Girls jokes
Wait, the Chiefs lost to the GIANTS?!
Welcome to the party dude!
And the Bears had offensive TDs. You missed a lot in the early games.
but Barth was still BARTH!
face guarding – only allowed for NE
Yea thats weird. Should have been flag….
WOOO MEL THE ONLY SHITTY CLIPPERS PLAYER I CARE ABOUT!
so….these late fixtures, huh?
First time hearing Tony Romo as announcer. He is Fun!
Leave to Dalton to pick the wrong option on a triple option. Too many options.
Didn’t Sports Authority go out of business? Did they pay in advance for naming rights for X number of years? Wouldn’t it make sense to try and resell those?
Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any authorities on sports products.
Ah, there is an apostrophe! Sport’s Authority!
lulls < lulz HOMONYMS
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
LOL remember when that Super Bowl Brady jersey went to Mexico City?
Serious question : Why no NFL in Canada?
We can only measure things in meters?
Do y’all Celcius?
We’ll sell anything!
Hmm, a lot of pepper in the garlic crackers, which is….not bad, but somewhat overwhelms the garlic
Cooks has 69 receiving yrds. NICE!
Bunnies. ^_^
Wait…is the bunny a bitch, or is the bunny calling you a bitch?
/extreme pedant voice
Actually the last mood is not a mood and moreover a rabbit’s only blind spot is directly in front of it’s face so it would never turn to look at you.
Saw a thingy about Atlanta and lemon pepper wings. Cooking up some lemon pepper wings.
Xmas ape twitter is good: Despite Trump’s campaign promises, all the touchdowns are now moving abroad.
MAKE MEXICO PAY TO MAKE THE RAIDERS D INTO A WALL
This reminds me that Brady will probably get 500 TD passes and we’ll get something obnoxious like this:
I kinda wish there was a video game that was basically Pacman, but with a little Gronk monster and the pacman noise replaced with GRONK-GRONK-GRONK
Too Many Brandin Cooks.
Reposting since Dok’s request for the D waylaid the round:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hollywood/NFL before and after
Let’s try an “R”.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ R| _ _ _ R _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
T
Negative
This was posted on Twitter with the words “When you win solitaire on the computer.”
Holy shit, that’s perfect
Bros being Bros.
Virginia Black. One sip and wooooo!
I’m expecting streakers at Mile High, this is getting ridiculous
GET ON IT MICROBREWERIES
Three Repo Man references in one day. Are you stalking my brain?
It’s probably my favorite movie, and it’s rare anyone gets it. Though top tip, don’t make relationship decisions based on their opinion of Repo Man
Glad to find another member of the cosmic unconscious. I too number it among one of my favorite movies of all time.
The only women I’ve ever met that passed the “Repo test” were already spoken for.
Hue Jackson is now got a 3.84% winning record as coach of the Browns.
That is half as bad as Rod Rust’s winning percentage when he was coach of the New England Patriots.
I mean, that doesn’t seem that bad considering?
Whoops I am an idiot. Its twice as bad. Rod Rust went 1-15.
The Bengals scoring at will is possibly the strongest indictment yet of the broncos defense
not quite sure everything is hunky-dory in the locker room
Whoooo Jared Cook with the reception for the raiders!
Who the fuck are all these not AJ Green people?
Yes! Touchdown Bengals!
No! Not AJ Green!
Brain: “OK, buddy. Just one more beer.”
Me: “Sure. Fine. Three more scotches is okay though?”
Brain: [sighs] “Why do I fucking bother?”
Liver: “WE HAD A DEAL!”
Brain: “Oh… right. No more scotch!”
Me: [stomps foot] “I HATE YOU!”
So….you’re having a nice bottle of wine?
Mount Vernon Davis? Well, if everyone else is….
– A. Rodgers
VERY IMPORTANT WHICH CRACKER SHOULD I EAT FIRST ; ROSEMARY, RED CHILI, GARLIC
Red Chili
Good call, that is a tasty cracker
Roy Moore.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hollywood/NFL before and after
Oooh, that’s a long one!
It’s a long shot, but I feel like a D
:stifles jokes:
No D for you
Yeah, I realized a second after I posted that…’phrasing’
From our very own Make it Snow via Twitter:
You gonna die on this J. Peterman hill, Anthony Lynn?