Snap Draft: “Fire and Fury” Audiobook Narrators

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)

That’s right, folks, it’s January, and it’s time for me to start thinking about the same thing I always start thinking about as soon as the playoffs start: the draft!  I thought in honor of Michael Wolff’s book that is coming out tomorrow, we’d draft people we’d like to hear read chapters of the upcoming audio version of the book.  Your pick should be based on how much you think it would infuriate Trump to know that his downfall is being narrated by people he hates with as much passion as his flaccid corpse can muster.

With the first pick, I’m going to shock the pundits by passing over obvious #1 picks like Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Rosie O’Donnell, and go with Ghazala Khan.

Not only is English her second (or possibly third) language, she’s a Pakistani immigrant of modest means.  Who better to narrate the first chapter in what we all pray will be the book that heralds Trump’s downfall?

Your turn, commentists.  Who ya got?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

I guess id go with Ice-T

Don T
Member

Stephen Hawking.

nomonkeyfun
Member

Mike Bloomberg, so long as he mentions his net worth every paragraph.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

We still doing this? I’ll take Megyn Kelly.

Spanky Datass
Member
Spanky Datass

Emmitt Smiff.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

I feel like the answer is obvious.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Go on…

yeah right
Member

Vlade Divac.

SonOfSpam
Member

Ok, so you’re old…remember that old razor commercial where Vlade’s line is a heavily-accented “I am no longer irritating”? Because that still cracks me up.

SonOfSpam
Member

Found it – I AM SO HAPPY!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

What the hell did AC Green know about what American girls liked back then?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

If I’m able to get back on the clock, I want to take Cher

SonOfSpam
Member

“Then keep your eyes open bitch”

Cher on Twitter is a treasure.

SonOfSpam
Member

Round 2, Chris Matthews, volume turnt way up.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Link to the PDF

h

ttp://libgen.io/ads.php?md5=2DAA2388D09025790CCAFBF44A3DB342

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

The link is being weird….. Im confused how to access the link
I keep getting a 504 gateway time-out

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

nevermind. I got it.
U are awesome!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Chapter 2: Marla Maples

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Can I take Al Franken?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Ooooh ooooh I changed my mind, I’ll take Elizabeth Warren

Senor Weaselo
Member

It’s slow, so I’m gonna take a second pick and go for Vicente Fox.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

No one should give this motherfucker a penny, so I’m going to promote a certain site just this one time.

h

ttp://libgen.io/

SonOfSpam
Member

Alec Baldwin

litre_cola
Member

Kim JOng Un

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Hillary Clinton [oh, snap]

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Ivana Tump.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Good value here, I’m taking Morgan Freeman

ArmedandHammered
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ArmedandHammered

Katlyn Jenner

Senor Weaselo
Member

For my first pick, I’ll go with Meryl Streep.

Don T
Member

Rosie Perez

/kicks back

I’ll take the prize money in rubles, please.

sunrisesunrise
Member

Bobby Lashley.

yeah right
Member

Larry the Cable Guy.