2017 Quotables – Wild Card Round (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Nah, it’s just the image. I don’t actually have anything to say about the officials this postseason. I mean, nothing that hasn’t been said already.

“Water is dry.” – Mike Carey

Personally, I think they should just get rid of replay — with the exception of coach’s challenges, scoring plays, turnovers, and inside two minutes (which I could live without, really) — and go with the calls on the field. In the experiment that has been Getting It Right, the NFL has:

  • Not gotten it right.
  • Not sped of the game.
  • Not improved the product.
  • Killed any semblance of momentum.
  • Simply replaced fan complaints about bad calls to complaints about bad calls even when replay is available.

We’ve had 50+ Super Bowls. Football is entrenched enough in our culture that you can say, “Look,  there’s 22 guys running around acting a fool every play; we’re going to do out best to be objective but it’s a sport.” Then maybe add an official on the field and call it good enough.

You know, like they’ve done with improvements for player health and safety.

Anyways, enjoy your post-seasoning. I’m sure there is absolutely no way that this weekend, as with nearly all previous Divisional Round weekends, will go straight chalk. So, with that said, here are your Wild Card Weekend Quotables Results!


“’Why must we suffer the slings and arrows of this fool? Where is the beer, flames and 300lb slob to drive through the table? Where’s the art in this?’ -All Buffalo Fans” -LemonJello

“‘I did that quite often when I played running back. It saves your brain.’ -Trent Green” -nomonkeyfun

“Same frightened and disgusted face Lindsey Duke used to make during sex.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Since you guys block for me so well, let me return the favor, here are some Trojans for when we hit Bourbon Street later!” -ArmedandHammered

“I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say ‘Fuck you, Titans’, I do it myself.” -Redshirt

“You would think that the fucker had the Waffle House menu memorized by now…” -JustStopDude

“‘Okay, his forward progress is stopped right here.’ – Jeff Triplette” -monty this seems strange to me

“They will show you the latest in .gif mobile technology, but not how to get a Peterman Jersey.   P.S. I have a problem” -walkingthedog

“Rollin’ down the street smokin’ indo, sippin’ on…Dasani and Diet Coke? Man, I’m gettin’ old…” -Petronel

I don’t usually do unsolicited submissions but…

“MUST. JUMP. ON. TABLE. LET ME GO. THOSE FLAMES WON’T BURN FOREVERRRRRR” -Game Time Decision
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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Petronel
Member
Petronel

Woohoo! My first! (And – what Game Time said below. I’m just happy that I get to play too.)

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

This week had some awesome submissions. Great jorb, everyone!

Clipboard Jesus
Member
Clipboard Jesus

Is it time to dub Mariotta “Jobu”?

/yes, I realize that Cerrano said it, but Jobu is funnier

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

That unsolicited one is genius. Can’t believe I missed it the first time.

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

Woohooo, unsolicited submission for the win

Tho, i always feel like i’m getting a participation medal, as y’all bring the funny and i don’t feel like i’m at the same level

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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