A “You Never Seen Such Scufflin'” Saturday Evening Open thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

There’s nothing to talk about. It’s all Olympics or GAMBLOR!

The men’s snowslopes final is tonight. There are four Canadians among the 12 qualifiers. Also, there’s three Norwegians.

 

WAR’S ON, BABY!


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBCSN:
      • 7:00PM – Figure Skating: Olympic Ice, Snowboarding
      • 9:45PM – Curling (Mixed Doubles): U.S. vs. Finland, Snowboarding
      • 1:30AM – Curling (Mixed Doubles): Canada vs. South Korea
      • 2:40AM – Hockey (Women’s Group A): U.S. vs. Finland
      • 5:00AM | Speed Skating, Biathlon, Cross-Country
    • NBC:
      • 8:00PM – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing
    • CBC:
      • 8:00PM – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing
    • TSN:
      • 2:40AM – Hockey (Women’s Group A): U.S. vs. Finland
    • Sportsnet1:
      • 8:00PM – Snowboard – Men’s Slopestyle Qualifying
      • 11:00PM – Snowboard – Women’s Slopestyle Qualifying
      • 2:00AM – Speed skating – Men’s 5000m Finals
      • 6:00AM – Men’s Luge

  • NHL:
    • Sens at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Preds at Habs – 7:00PM | City / Sportsnet360 / NHLN
    • Oilers at Sharks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Warriors – 8:30PM | ABC
  • NCAA:
    • San Diego State at Nevada – 8:00PM | ESPN2
    • Kentucky at Texas A&M – 8:15PM | ESPN
    • Gonzaga at St. Mary’s (Cal.) – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Washington at Oregon State – 10:00PM | ESPNU
    • Southern California at Arizona – 10:15PM | ESPN
  • UFC 221 Prelims:
    • Romero vs. Rockhold: From Perth, Australia – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

King Hippo

I put $55 on St. Mary’s now that it’s a pick ’em. Fuck the Zags, they ain’t shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I mean holy shit….
Run bitch, run fo’ yo’ life, get some hep!!!!!!

King Hippo

applying my system fearlessly made at least $2,700 today, after all

theeWeeBabySeamus

If you’ll stop betting I will suck your dick.
There….now that’s incentive.

King Hippo

I kindly decline! There are no MOAR fixtures I wish to bet, at any odds.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Uh huh. We’ll see.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

/places large bet.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

King Hippo

I can play with the scrilla above $4,100. That is my right.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. It’s an amendment I think.

King Hippo

NOPE, $4,100 is what I am cashing out on Monday.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No I just meant it’s your right, thus an amendment and… Oh fuck that….

STOP FUCKING AROUND AND CASH OUT UNTIL FALL YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

I won’t cash out MOAR than $4,100 yet because I don’t want to deal with tax query. I will play with whatever is left through the NCAAT and re-evaluate. Save that for the fall or re-cash after tax time.

King Hippo

I still have a decent amount out on Southern Cal and Washington (placed this morning, system bets), FWIW. Could still end the day around $5K, perhaps a little higher.

Spur
Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Lovely girl. I’m sure she’d hate me.
So, smrt too.

King Hippo

Wyoming, down 1 after early 5-23 hole

theeWeeBabySeamus

I still can’t believe you bet that. But Imma rootin’ fer ya.

King Hippo

lemme tell ya ’bout tha muthaland!!

litre_cola

Damn straight

theeWeeBabySeamus

Openly defective is the lover you elected and…
A portrait she was bound to portray.

Yup…let’s drink some things.

Spur
Spur

Gasol is unplayable against the Warriors, take him out !

litre_cola

Evening commentist party.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Hi there!
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King Hippo

Evening. GAMBLOR be praised!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Saturday Night, bitches!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Jim Carroll can add himself to that list now.

King Hippo

It’s nice when someone practice what they preach

Spur
Spur

Derrick White is looking like a real stud right now

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

Sixers doing everything they can to fuck up the perfect week in Philly

Spur
Spur

Durant is juked out his his shoes by Slo-mo yet he wants to be in DPOY talks….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

why put so much jism on a perfectly good doughnut?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Well, when you name it the “Victoria Paris” people have expectations?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Salty affect.

Spur
Spur

Spurs are not making excuses they came to grind out a game,

Spur
Spur

Block and 4 point play from the Latvian Laser!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Dr. Doom approves!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is that an oven mitt? What is this from?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could be an actual mitten.

That romcom with what’s his name; plot: they hate each other then fall in love. GIS it.

King Hippo

Did Lady Carlton win again?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, she did!

Spur
Spur

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s an echo in here.

King Hippo

Like tWBS, I plan to cash out my $4100 (to break even and not have to worry about no tax man shit) and whatever is leftover at the end of the night above and beyond that, I can play with through the NCAAT. I go bust, that’s it until Glorious Footbaw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Joliet Jake Delhomme

Wow. My lady footy sucks. That is what happens when your team wins the spoon.

litre_cola

I forgot the 1st game. Fuck.

Spur
Spur

Zaza being an asshole with the illegal screen..again.

King Hippo

I enjoy winter evenings when Spur speaks in tongues. I truly feel a heavenly presence amongst the Commentist Party, da?

herodotus450
herodotus450

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Do you think there’s an agreement to go easy on the unified Korea hockey team? It’s not like these teams with mostly NHL players are really missing out when the benefit is something Kim Jong Un can gloat over for a while.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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LemonJello
LemonJello

50’s porn is just weird.

Spur
Spur

Fuck you KD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What did K.D. Lang ever do to you?

Spur
Spur

Stole my girl. i just couldn’t compete with her.

King Hippo

I mean…she spends 24 hours a day with the equipment – what chance do we have?

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s always craving something or another….
(good song actually….memories of my tiny blonde surfer chickie in fact)

King Hippo

Watching Kentucky, it’s like 5 guys who have never seen a hoopsball before and aren’t quite sure what to do with it. Perhaps one enterprising lad will gin up the courage to try and fuck it one of these nights!

Gratliff

Sir, it’s a ball; not a cousin.

Spur
Spur

LMA drops 50 tonight.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Shit, what cryptocoin is that? Do I have any!? How do I sell now!!!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well shit, that was close.
But after the vig, that nets me about $1,100.

I’m done until next year. Gimme my cash, assholes.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Gimme my cash, assholes.

What are rejected slogans for Buddy Cole’s Anal Ass-travaganza?

I’ll take TheRapists for $600, Alex.

King Hippo

WHEW. I saw nothing except the balance on my Sportsbook account shoot upward. GOOD TIMES.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, next calendar year or next football season?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s just kidding; he’s wackin’ one off tonight.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Just five more to go to beat Craig James’ record.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Football season. Shut up.

My $1,100 net will go toward California hookers and weed in May, thank you very much.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mostly weed, admittedly.

Spur
Spur

Planning on going to Death Valley national park next weekend. Who wants to go? Taking off Friday and going to overnight.

King Hippo

are there suicide booths?

herodotus450
herodotus450

I will just send you a puddle of my sweat along with a recording of me saying “why is it so fucking hot?” That should effectively emulate my presence.

Spur
Spur

it’s the middle of “winter”, highs in the low 80’s.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Is it a dry heat?
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herodotus450
herodotus450

Dry heat though, ppl forget that.
/Not even joking, dry heat is so much more tolerable.

LemonJello
LemonJello

The time I spent in the Horn of Africa confirms this.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Watch out for the lows at night because it can get cold as shit, and windy. And “dry cold” is even worse.

ballsofsteelandfury

You camping or did you get a hotel? Death Valley is fucking amazing

Spur
Spur

camping but I really don’t plan on sleeping. Going to some stargazing and sunrise photos.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Dang! Look at that banner image! You gotta admit, lions are pretty bad ass.

That guy isn’t fucking around; I suppose the other guy isn’t fucking around either. Yet they’re not trying to kill each other, just dominate, because killing is woman’s work. So I guess in a sense they are fucking around. Look at the female in the back with her resigned expression: Oh, they’re at it again. Why don’t they just fuck each other. Lady, maybe they will.

herodotus450
herodotus450
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

herodotus450
herodotus450

Wait there’s a Christian Fauria who plays tight end? When you add that to Joseph Fauria, ex-Lions tight end, you get a Finite Fauria Series.

King Hippo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

I’m not sure what this is, but I know that I want more of it.

Spur
Spur

Is that from the new Tom Cruise/Aziz Ansari movie?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“That was fucking funny.”

-Kevin Hart

King Hippo

I am not allowed to have a good day. Not one single day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

These air bag recalls are no joke.

King Hippo

Fuckers can even blow the spread part of my bet now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which porn are you watching?

Spur
Spur

Michelle Beadle’s voice does not match her face. it’s “off”

King Hippo

So…that’s twice today I had a double digit underdog moneyline bet with the game seemingly won in the final minute. I really should blow my fucking brains out already.

theeWeeBabySeamus

FFS VPI….I mean just fucking horrid end of game bullshit taking moneh out mah pocket.

Spur
Spur

Hope Hicks, the WH communications director, sure seems to get around. How much are these Trump people fucking in the WH? Is it more or less than previous administrations?

King Hippo

Perhaps it just seems that way, going back to a “normal” bunch of sleazebags after 8 years of Mr. Clean, who actually loved his wife and set a good example and shit.

Gratliff

Set a good SECRET MUSLIM example, you mean

herodotus450
herodotus450

It’s probably all the secret muslim african MIND CONTROL drugs that he left behind that is causing all the trouble in the trump admin even though there is no trouble and he’s doing a better job than all previous presidents combined

King Hippo

Even in my current most foul mood, this made me smile. Huzzah!

herodotus450
herodotus450

New key idea for hippo
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King Hippo

/she would still make it her life’s mission to misplace it

King Hippo

watching the end of San Fran/BYU was a jinx, so I ain’t watching here.

King Hippo

I net about $2200 if VPI manages to win this. I got 2 bills in at +600, $55 at +625. Plus $225 ATS (+12).

Well, at least I should be good to end up with $437 when they lose a heartbreaker. Because Hippo can never have nice things.

One of my dipshit kids dropped her car keys down the autoflush toilet at work tonight.

/of course she doesn’t know where the spare is

LemonJello
LemonJello

dropped her car keys down the autoflush toilet at work tonight.

As a father of 3 I feel your frustration. Plus, how is that possible?

King Hippo

She said she had them in her back pocket. That didn’t help the physics/particle dynamics for me, neither.

If I could go back in time and shoot my balls off, I gladly would.

LemonJello
LemonJello

OrangeJello and TangerineJello are death itself on phone screens – if I could buy phone cases made from Wolverine’s bones for them, it’d probably be cheaper than replacing cracked screens.

King Hippo

oh, I get that in spades too. All 3 best remember that when I suggest they elope.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hang on, I can translate that from kidspeak for you:
She dropped her keys and drugs down a toilet to avoid getting caught, then blamed poor old autoflush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

I’m really enjoying the karma DeAndre Jordan is suffering right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Another clean hit on Brady that still draws a flag.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, deer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

Go Spurs Go
Let’s see some hustle.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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herodotus450
herodotus450

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Fantasy achievement: Unlocked

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Isn’t that from “Wookie Nookie: A Star Wars Story” ?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Well fuck!
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ballsofsteelandfury

I wonder who Hippo and TWBS have in the US v Finland curling/women’s hockey…

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LemonJello
LemonJello

And do they parlay that with figure skating or alpine skiing?

ballsofsteelandfury

Apparently, Hippo NEVER parlays…

King Hippo

es verdad!

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