DFO Radio: Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. LAKE TAHOE HOTEL – LATE NIGHT.

A hulking young man walks with a young woman down a hotel hallway. 

THE BEN: …FIVE FOOT GIMME.

STORMY DANIELS: Ha ha, more like five inch gimme.

THE BEN: SO…BRETT FAVRE?

STORMY DANIELS: [giggles] Like a kid down there!  Ha ha, no, nothing like that.

THE BEN: [taken aback] VISANTHE SHIANCOE?

STORMY DANIELS: Oh, God, no.  More like Trent Green.

THE BEN: …?

STORMY DANIELS: Completely and utterly forgettable.

THE BEN: [nods sagely]

STORMY DANIELS: In those cases I try to make it forgettable for them too, so they don’t bother me anymore.  I have a go-to move I call the Dennis Byrd.

They arrive at Stormy’s room.

THE BEN: YOU WANT BEN COME IN, CHECK FOR INTRUDERS?

STORMY DANIELS: [considers]…That’s very sweet of you, but…not tonight.

THE BEN: YOU SURE? THE BEN IS BIG PLAYER ON REALITY SHOW SCENE.

STORMY DANIELS: You’re gonna get me a guest spot on Hard Knocks?

THE BEN: BEN WILL TELL COACHMAN THAT HE IS TIRED OF STANDING BEHIND JEFF HARTINGS, WANT STAND BEHIND SOMEONE NEW.

STORMY DANIELS: [laughs] You’re more clever than people give you credit for.

THE BEN: THE BEN JUST PAWN IN GAME OF FOOTBALL.  NO, WAIT, QUARTERBACK IN GAME OF FOOTBALL.

STORMY DANIELS: [slips into her room] Good night, Ben! Someday I’ll be telling 60 Minutes how much of a gentleman you were.

THE BEN sighs and takes a few steps away from the door.

THE BEN: LOOKS LIKE THE BEN WILL BE BUNKING ALONE TONIGHT.

Suddenly, three girls in bachelorette attire stumble around the corner.

GIRL 1: Oh my God, I’m so wasted.

GIRL 2: I have to pee.

GIRL 3: [to BEN] Hey…aren’t you that football guy?

THE BEN: YES. THE BEN IS FOOTBALL MAN.

GIRL 1: Sorry to bother you, but…are you staying here? Do you have a bathroom we can use?

THE BEN turns to the camera and smiles.  End scene.

This week’s Request Line was a true delight, as the theme was “things associated with golf”.  There were so many great submissions it’s hard to lock down a favorite, but I think theeWeeBabySeamus clearly earned MVP rights and I’m going to lead things off with five of his choices.  And some honorable mentions go to Armed & Hammered for his DOUBLE SHOT of songs about Greenskeepers (both of which were new to me) and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers for pulling off the rare internal DOUBLE SHOT with Iron Maiden’s “Where Eagles Dare”. Fantastic work, everyone, this was a blast.  Spotify link.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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theeWeeBabySeamusHoratio CornblowerRikki-Tikki-DeadlyLemonJelloSonOfSpam Recent comment authors
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Don T

Sneaky low mobility gropers:
1. George HW Bush
2.
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SonOfSpam

Well, it was either that, or report on the Cohen raids last night.

LemonJello
LemonJello

/Tucker Carlson looks blankly at SoS, wondering what he’s yammering on about.

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair, pandas are native to China, and we are on the edge of a trade war with China, so we really do need to keep an eye on those adorable furry little bastards.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

That poor hotel bathroom never knew what happened to it.
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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Big Ben’s look at the end.

I also found this and loved it.

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SonOfSpam

Agree that Seamus was MVP, but he almost blew it with the Richard Marx submission.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST THAT GUY HE GOT ME LAID A BUNCHA TIMES IN MY 20s!!!!!!!!

SonOfSpam

What do I have against this guy? Nothing. He’s dreamy.

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SonOfSpam

His music all sounds like that picture.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed, fwiw.

Horatio Cornblower

“Richard Marx: Wingman” coming to Netflix in 2019.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I love the banner image. The 13th at Augusta never had such good connectivity.