Request Line: Do Your Job

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

We join our regularly scheduled program in progress…

PRODUCER: …but I think it’s great that the team kept you on the payroll.

JIM MCNALLY: Yeah, well, those ticket stubs aren’t going to sort themselves.

PRODUCER: No, I suppose that’s true.  Unless everything were done electronically, you know, using barcodes and such.

DJ3000: [quietly writes a database management program out of boredom]

JOHN JASTREMSKI: Well, you know, the Patriots are a throwback organization.  We keep it real, you know what I mean?

PRODUCER: I guess it seems a little like busywork, is all I’m saying.

JIM MCNALLY: To you, sure.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: I mean, seriously.

JIM MCNALLY: This guy.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: Right?

JIM MCNALLY: Listen, if you can find someone that will pay you fifteen large to spend sixteen weekends of the year in a room matching ticket stubs to the original printouts, you should definitely go for it.  We’ve got a pretty good thing going.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: And all we had to do was sign an N…D…oh shit.

JIM MCNALLY: So…wait, did you read that thing?

JOHN JASTREMSKI: I mean, I kinda did.

JIM MCNALLY: Shit shit shit shit shit.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: We’re not supposed to talk about our work for the organization.  Publicly.

JIM MCNALLY: Shit.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: Okay, okay, okay. [to PRODUCER] So what we’re gonna need you to do right now is to retract this interview.

PRODUCER: Retract it?

JIM MCNALLY: Yeah man.  Just work some of your producer magic and erase the part where we talked about what we do for the Patriots.

JOHN JASTREMSKI: And then what he just said, retract that too.

JIM MCNALLY: Huh?

JOHN JASTREMSKI: [stage whisper to JIM MCNALLY] We’re not even supposed to say we work for the Atriots-Pay. 

PRODUCER: Guys, this interview has been going out over the airwaves for the last ten minutes.  Did you really not know that?  We’re live right now.  I can’t just…take it back.

JIM MCNALLY and JOHN JASTREMSKI both sit tight-lipped in their chairs. 

PRODUCER: Are you guys…clamming up on me? Oh man, just like a couple of Bostonians.  [chuckles at his own joke as they remain silent] Okay, I guess you are.  Well, I suppose that means we’ll be getting to the music.  Today’s theme is “occupations”.  Give us a call with songs about specific occupations, like architects, or matadors, or secretaries.  I’ll get us started with one from Radiohead.

Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “occupations”.  In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0UrF!r3d”.  When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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SonOfSpam

You just couldn’t…I mean…fuck…you do this shit on purpose I swear…GAH…

theeWeeBabySeamus

A simple “Dude” would have sufficed.
Sheeeesh.

SonOfSpam

I think you broke my amygdala.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better that than your hymen.

SonOfSpam

That’s been broke since my prostate exam.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Using the whole fist, Doc?

Game Time Decision

somewhere i still have this CD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYcXjJXxqVM

SonOfSpam

The trumpet in this song is just the best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fprYfInkErg

King Hippo

As means of an interlude, I just want to lament the lack of quality songs about jizz moppers.

NOW, carry on mah wayward sons. Here’s a nice peppy tune about slingin’ dope:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewRjZoRtu0Y

ArmedandHammered

And of course you often end up with this after your interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHDNWf_ws38

ArmedandHammered
SonOfSpam

Another Brad Childress reference?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS-s_xcmwaU

SonOfSpam

DAVID LEE ROTH DOUBLE SHOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-4lX0QyZc

SonOfSpam

And a Just A Gigolo DOUBLE SHOT because Louis Prima was the best (so was Keely).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-a8kLtJSJ4

nomonkeyfun

Hey, having an addiction is work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61fy8Y1Ojt4

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right

Fuck it. It’s a threesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiQa8pIVPjI

nomonkeyfun

Definitely NSFW. But it sure as hell is hard goddamned work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGRoEfRJSGs

SonOfSpam

Lyrics are slightly NSFW but oh so good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yFNDnSMmgI

Brick Meathook
yeah right
BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

Oates + mustache + trench coat = Childress

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsntlJZ9h1U

SonOfSpam

Fox News bimbos were foretold.

SonOfSpam

How are they twins when there are three of them???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APyl6Cnbfzw

ArmedandHammered

I had no idea there was an official video for this song, thought they did a good job with it.

Sharkbait

I had no idea there was one either. I agree, it was well done.

ArmedandHammered

Manti Te’o posting in the Hiring section of his local paper:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Z-DQGqM90

ArmedandHammered

It does seem to be a growing profession:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsWNxOAm9CI

King Hippo

Hey, they ain’t all glamorous (video feat. BIG GAY AL!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYg3CFVAyP4

King Hippo

World’s Oldest Profession!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T1c7GkzRQQ

nomonkeyfun

Let’s go for a double down the shaft. Hey, what’s so funny?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUpTJg2EBpw

Sharkbait
nomonkeyfun

What, some people considered scabbing to be a job. Just ask Joe Montana

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bvchgyXyik

scotchnaut

At a certain period in time I thought Mike Scott was the greatest musical artist I’d ever come across.

King Hippo
Sharkbait