Your “Weather Report? Sloppy With a Chance of Turnovers, of Course!” Sunday Afternoon Football Thread

Can we beat a micro-meme to death inside of 12 hours? I betcha we can and I’ll certainly do my part. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention what some people call The Battle of The Canada, The Politest Civil War Ever, The Bleeergh By The Iceberg, The Red and Black and Blue Game, The Only Closers Get Cocoa Bowl, The Bury My Heart at Red Deer Cup, The EH, Be Nice! Game, The Atrocity By The Rockies, yes it’s the one and only Grey Cup. As a respectful gesture, not a single Canadian NHL team is playing today aside from Calgary and Edmonton. Well, now that that’s out the way… TO THE GAMES!

Cards/Chargers:

Tip of the helmet goes to Patrick Peterson for feeding 221 families in need this past Thanksgiving. My mind boggles at the size of his kitchen and living room though. The logistics of getting the mashed potatoes together while the turkey was resting-that alone must have been a logistical nightmare. And it was just one guy! I hope he didn’t use a food mixer to whip the potatoes-they always end up so gloopy. One single mother did complain that the dressing was a bit dry. So ungrateful. Why didn’t she just take the shuttle from the table back to the kitchen, throw some gravy into the microwave and then take the shuttle back to her spot? It’s that lack of initiative that will pretty much guarantee that she’ll continue to struggle. Ummm… Chargers win to get to 8-3.

Steelers/Broncs:

Pitt is undefeated on the road but it all comes crashing down like a mudslide in an eastern European country you couldn’t identify on a map. Forget about their league-leading 37 sacks. Forget about their 6 game win streak. Forget about their one-two-three punch of Brown, Smith-Schuster and Connor. “Top 10 Defence?” I say, “Top 10 Schmeefence!” And I mean it. Besides, Denver whipped out a special play last week and I’ve no doubt they’ll do it again today. Oh yeah, Phillip Lindsay, HE GON WILDCAT!

Fins/Colts:

I thought about slyly picking up Mr. Andrew “Hasn’t thrown less than 3 TD’s since September 23rd” Luck and stashing him but I chose to just go on living my life. No, the one has nothing to do with the other, I’m just sharing. If you don’t count most of the season, and who does, really-the Colts are 4-0. But just wait a second-good old Randy Dandy, Fanny Hill is back behind center for the Fins. So head over to your armoire and dig out your favourite play-action overalls and put those puppies on.

[looks round] Puppies? Who said “puppies”?