Can we beat a micro-meme to death inside of 12 hours? I betcha we can and I’ll certainly do my part. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention what some people call The Battle of The Canada, The Politest Civil War Ever, The Bleeergh By The Iceberg, The Red and Black and Blue Game, The Only Closers Get Cocoa Bowl, The Bury My Heart at Red Deer Cup, The EH, Be Nice! Game, The Atrocity By The Rockies, yes it’s the one and only Grey Cup. As a respectful gesture, not a single Canadian NHL team is playing today aside from Calgary and Edmonton. Well, now that that’s out the way… TO THE GAMES!
Cards/Chargers:
Tip of the helmet goes to Patrick Peterson for feeding 221 families in need this past Thanksgiving. My mind boggles at the size of his kitchen and living room though. The logistics of getting the mashed potatoes together while the turkey was resting-that alone must have been a logistical nightmare. And it was just one guy! I hope he didn’t use a food mixer to whip the potatoes-they always end up so gloopy. One single mother did complain that the dressing was a bit dry. So ungrateful. Why didn’t she just take the shuttle from the table back to the kitchen, throw some gravy into the microwave and then take the shuttle back to her spot? It’s that lack of initiative that will pretty much guarantee that she’ll continue to struggle. Ummm… Chargers win to get to 8-3.
Steelers/Broncs:
Pitt is undefeated on the road but it all comes crashing down like a mudslide in an eastern European country you couldn’t identify on a map. Forget about their league-leading 37 sacks. Forget about their 6 game win streak. Forget about their one-two-three punch of Brown, Smith-Schuster and Connor. “Top 10 Defence?” I say, “Top 10 Schmeefence!” And I mean it. Besides, Denver whipped out a special play last week and I’ve no doubt they’ll do it again today. Oh yeah, Phillip Lindsay, HE GON WILDCAT!
Fins/Colts:
I thought about slyly picking up Mr. Andrew “Hasn’t thrown less than 3 TD’s since September 23rd” Luck and stashing him but I chose to just go on living my life. No, the one has nothing to do with the other, I’m just sharing. If you don’t count most of the season, and who does, really-the Colts are 4-0. But just wait a second-good old Randy Dandy, Fanny Hill is back behind center for the Fins. So head over to your armoire and dig out your favourite play-action overalls and put those puppies on.
[looks round] Puppies? Who said “puppies”?
My god, do I ever love me some pregame garlies.
What the hell is that and where can I get some??
Cheesy garlic bread, but the magic is the donair sauce.
1 can (300ml) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)
1/3 cup white vinegar
1 tsp garlic powder
Mix together until thick, then refrigerate 1 hour. Thick, tangy, sweet, and fucking delicious.
Thick, tangy, sweet and fucking delicious? I like where this is going.
King of Donair.
Drop that donair and get you some toum, which are like within a half a degree from eachother, but toum is the dominant sauce gfy
Is that garlic bread and is that butter?
Damn the Steelers and their awesomely great talent!
97yrd TD! hahahahaha!
I may not like them, but with a play like that, you gotta show respect!
Note: Steve Wilks is a defensive head coach.
The guy from Jerry Springer?
Juju be gone!
Philip Rivers loses a record because of an low hit to the knees that wasn’t called. That’s the 2018 NFL Season in a nutshell.
So bet on the P*ts?
Ryan Tannehill has/shares the NFL record for consecutive pass completions in a game?! Doesn’t that warrant an investigation?!
I’m sure there are plenty of mar a lago sure-payers who could run ANY investigation.
Are those black donks helmets?
no, just a very dark navy
I mean integration was tried in WWII!
Dark blue. Normal helmets with old decals.
wait am I high, or has philip rivers really not had an incomplete pass yet?
Yes?
Is there any voice more unsettling than that of Tracey Wolfson? Who told her that she would be welcome on national teevee?
So, the soccer stadium isn’t full for a 7-3 team. Truly is sad.
PRAISE BOLTMAN
Despite your sidebets, I’m alive. Satan said it would be a worse punishment for me to stay alive watching the Bengals.
Satan can indeed be a bit of a dick
ghaaaaaa!!!!
damnit luck why didnt you throw it to Doyle?
And Melvin Gordon ded.
STOMP
STOMP
CLAP.
Shitty Clippers get cute, injure their best offensive player.
Surprised they didn’t fumble the kneel down
WHHHEEEEEEEEEE
And now 3 turnovers in a row in dolts vs derphins
that game does have all the AIDS, indeed
clusterest of fucks
stupid, poorly coached team falls for the fake, film at 11
Deephins one playvlater
lol
Loldooooor
Garbage yards to T.Y. please?
Well, that’s a KIND of garbage…
Trickeration!
Trickeration!
Now that is a fucking salute to service Yinzers.
oh clots
Luck better than Brady
drinkly drinkly doo!
[waves tail of raccoon cap]
wow, the YINZERS get called for a pick play, hell shall freeze over imminently
Grabbing a helmet opening?
Fisting Helmut a German Protest(tribute) 80s video
Chargers 7-3 not even LA cares
We really don’t.
hearts at full capacity re RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
The thing no one understands is that LA is full of three types of fans:
1- Fans from somewhere else that root for their childhood team.
2- Rams fans left over from when the Rams were first here.
3- Raiders fans left over from when the Raiders were here.
To expect any of them to now cheer for the Chargers is extremely stupid.
Make the stadium a giant sports book.
Hippo I done took care of Weaselo for you this week. It is some tight up top.
I am indifferent re position 1 v. 2, just want that sweet, sweet bye. But that is a mighty tall order, good on you Imaginary Buddy-Guy.
/need a couple David Johnson scores to feel 100% confident (and same would give me a fighting chance to survive MNF in money league)
Who are these people that either hasn’t joined some hateful cell phone company or are masochistic enough to switch? Especially at Christmas on top of all the other soul-crushing experiences.
You know the people who get bows on cars? Them.
People who cheated on their spouses?
If only those guys were smart enough to become Mormons. Then they could have a buffet style life.
Evening, folks. It’s Grey Cup day, and in preparation, I’ve been eating like crazy. So far on the docket:
– Two Tim Hortons breakfast sandwiches (needed for 6 AM 4-hour drive home from Toronto to Ottawa this morning)
– Fresh poutine
– Gourmet doughnuts
Still to come:
– Homemade garlic fingers with Halifax donair sauce
– Homemade ribs, baked potatoes, coleslaw
– Probably pie of some sort
Oh, and a shitload of craft beer.
GO REDBLACKS
Any Nanimo bars though?
We were out, unfortunately.
No wave as you drove by me, wtf.
You were passed out and snoring… I didn’t want to wake you!
How loud are your waves that it would have woken me up
You know what the sound of one hand clapping sounds like? That’s the sound of my waves.
T.J.Watt tries to punch the ball loose and fucks up his hand. Good on you, bro!
/last comment, I swear
No, he deserves all the ridicule that mankind can manufacture.
According to Yahoo, there is a 1% chance that Marlon Mack and Greg Zeurlein will combine to score negative 36 points for me.
Both of my fantasy teams are pigeon shit. This team drafted Leveon Bell!
Daddy wants sleep. Nighto!
DONKS WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/must be the jerseys!!
//colour rush 4eva
That throw from tannehill should have been a pick 12
This is a shitty slate, but I have an addiction and it must be fed I suppose.
I’ve had enough of your Slate-bashing, young man!
im a fan of these broncos helmets+jerseys
The helmets and jerseys indeed work.
Want doesn’t work and never has for anybody ever are the orange pants.
Jesus.
Too much Thanksgiving football has diluted NFL viewing. Now, when are we getting London and Mexico City teams?
“You and me. Looking at the big picture.”
-Mark Rothko
“Hi there! I’m James Connor and I’ve made Le’Veon Bell irrevelant. Ask me anything.”
“Uh James, James! How do you feel about being underpaid by your current rookie deal followed by three years of Franchise Tag cirlclejerking to follow up?”
/That’s when you jerk off into the middle of a circle made of your giant piles of cash, right?
“I’m thinking I should sit out next year’s early practices. Here’s hoping that the Steelers don’t have anyone like me waiting in the wings”. #fingerscrossed
Do you think that Disney is remaking the Lion King too soon, given its cultural significance? Is this merely a money grab by a studio that is out of ideas?
Of course it’s a money grab. Let go the notion that Disney is some sort of magical ‘memory maker’. They’re listed on the fucking stock exchange!
They’re listed on the fucking Dow Jones Industrial Average. Disney is officially a conglomerate.
By correcting me you made my case all that much stronger. Thanks!
I wasn’t correcting you I was making your case stronger.
COME ON Andrew luck throw it to Jack doyle!!!!!
get this thing done!!!!!
Broncos unis aren’t doing them any favours.
I want to die.
Goat cheese and balsamic? Townie savages.
I feel the same way after reading an Applebees menu.
Just don’t ask for strawberries on it.
Ask for some sunburn proof water to wash it down.
My 9-2 fantasy team is projected to lose by 30. Shoulda started Victoria Principal, Cheryl Ladd and Dolly Parton. Why the hell did I start Carole Brunett and Loretta Swit? smgdh
So sad to see another factory close down in Ohio.
Bills fans can taste it. But what is “it?”
Captain Morgan poured through an ass crack.
Ah, the taint luge.
Jerry only does it with Blue Lable.
Particle board dust, there must be clouds of it outside the stadium from all the broken tables.
I learned everything I know about this “Gray Cup” from this documentary about Canadian life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwcf3OtjtcY
That wasn’t funny at all.
Corner Gas was never funny
Acting like total hosers.
One of the more bizarre features is that every year, some journalist is obliged to ask the “traditional” question about whether the coaches have banned their players from having sex.
I feel like the NFL should respond by having some dumb shmuck ask every year before the Super Bowl that “how long have you been a black quarterback” question (which I know isn’t exactly what happened). Bonus points for asking Tom Brady.