A Cable Car Christmas

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Normally Christmas movies are Scotchnaut’s beat, but I stumbled upon a seemingly unheard of gem on the NFL Network over the weekend and I wanted to spread its holiday cheer with the fine folks here.

The Players:

Sara Rue – who you might remember as “Earth Girl” from the nineties teen comedy Can’t Hardly Wait – plays spunky San Francisco single mom Audrey Mullins, doing her best to raise her autistic son Austin with a limited support system of friends and supportive coworkers.

Tom Cable plays gruff, no-nonsense MTA supervisor Tom.

Plot Shenanigans:

Audrey first encounters Tom when – after a complicated mixup involving several bags full of Christmas presents – she gets stopped by a transit cop for fare-jumping on a cable car. Tom sees her at her worst – overwhelmed by the holiday season’s demands – and he mistakes her frustration for the signs of a kindred soul. You see, after a scorched-earth divorce from his second wife, Tom hates everything and everyone in the world around him and longs for his misremembered younger days when the world wasn’t overrun by “pussies and deadbeats”.

Due to her limited finances, Audrey is completely dependent on public transportation so having her transit privileges revoked would be a disaster. As a supervisor, Tom uses his clout to ensure that Audrey is released with only a warning. As the Christmas season moves forward and Audrey tries to juggle her job, Austin’s hectic schedule, and everything else, she keeps running into Tom. Eventually, when a homeless derelict knocks Audrey’s coffee into her lap, she accepts Tom’s offer to purchase her a new cup.

Obstacle?

Tom is an irreparable misanthrope who channels his rage and frustration with the world into terrifying outbursts of violence against his coworkers and former loved ones. Audrey is correspondingly terrified by this and pulls away emotionally. Wisely listening to the advice of her friends and family, Audrey attempts to eliminate Tom from her life entirely.  Tom tries various grand romantic gestures – like savagely beating the derelict who spilled coffee on Audrey, or violently assaulting Audrey’s stockbroker ex-husband after he’s late to pick up young Austin from school, but these actions only seem to drive Audrey further away.

Resolution:

After Austin’s class puts on an adorable performance of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas – which Audrey misses because her boss forces her to work triple overtime – Austin is nowhere to be found. Tear-stricken Audrey surmises he might have gotten confused and tried to ride the cable car system home, since it has become so familiar and comforting to him over the holiday season. She runs out of the school and coming towards them is a cable car decked out with Christmas decorations.  Tom is at the wheel and an unconcerned Austin is riding happily next to him. The film ends with Audrey riding alongside Tom on the cable car, clutching her son’s arm tightly and wearing a forced smile on her face.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprisedIan Scott McCormickballsofsteelandfuryJustStopDude Recent comment authors
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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Drunk…on PTO…watching the film “UHF” for the 10,000th time.

scotchnaut

“You drank from me. You knew the consequences…”

-The Fire Hose

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Ian Scott McCormick

I was at a party two years ago and somebody mentioned they were doing film editing on a movie.
“What kind of movie?”
“It’s a New York version of… What’s that movie? Damn it, it was a 90’s movie with that guy…”
“Seth Green. Can’t Hardly Wait.”

“Yeah. Wait. That’s amazing.”
I’m good at trivia.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I got a guy that used to work for me on the mess decks. He was a boatswains mate. This is a job where you need a fucking pulse and that is it. Its a shit job in the navy.

Right away I picked up that this kid was wicked smart. Like so smart…he kept getting in trouble. So I kind of put him under my wing and tried to guide him.

Long story short, he got out after four years. The dude got a BA and and MA in english lit from University of Kentucky. He is a taxi driver as his “main” job, but the real money maker for him is ghost writing autobiographies.

The kid is wicked smart. Like on a level I struggle to follow…and he picks up drunks from the airport and college dorms.

The thing is, if you ever drink with him, he can drop crazy shit about movies and famous people he has written for. He does the same thing. Like just start talking about some minor thing and you realize he is talking about being the writer for a movie or an autobiography that made an insane amount of money. Like the people he has met is insane.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If he didn’t interact with normal drunks driving a taxi, that ghost-writing job would kill him or drive him irreconcilably insane.

Ian Scott McCormick

I had an offer to ghost write a C or D list Celebrity’s book (Don’t bother trying to guess). The friend who offered told me I wouldn’t get any credit for obvious reasons.
That’s fine. How’s the pay?
“Not good.”
Okay, well I’ll get to meet them. I guess that’ll be an interesting experience, working with them, figuring out what they want to put out there.
“Actually, they don’t want to work with anybody. You’d just be doing it pretty much from scratch.”
Okay. Well, I guess I wouldn’t have to work very hard.
“Well, they’re kind of counting on this being their ticket back. They’re looking for literature.”
Fuck, man. Do you want me to do this thing or not?
I passed.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I can’t imagine how their career came to the point that they needed a comeback.

Game Time Decision

My old neighbour worked for ILM at one point and did clean up at other places. The stuff they fix up after filming is crazy. Nothing you see in a movie hadn’t been touched up

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The amount of VFX in Zodiac is mind-blowing.

Beerguyrob

I’m glad to see we are continuing the [DFO] tradition of “Tom Cable: Rage Monster” now that he’s (back) with the Raiders.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I’m not mistaken, Sara Rue also had a great role in an episode of Psych that was an homage(esque MAYBE) to the Shining.

Game Time Decision

For the Little drummer boy challenge, how much of the song do you need to hear to have failed? Long enough to recognize it, or most of the song (50%+)? Looking for the rule here. And I’m still in it, just trying to figure out a plan.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I assumed it was the former.

And I also assume I’m fucked, because I’m at Logan for the next couple hours until my flight takes off, and they’re blasting the Kenny G (I assume) version of Silent Night. Fortunately I’m singing this in my head instead:

Game Time Decision

I’d just go with noise cancelling headphones.
/Safe travels

scotchnaut

Some say that a Salvation Army Santa Claus gets beaten up every time Tom Cable smiles…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Tom Cable is a Wobblie?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sarah Rue lost a lot of weight since the 90s (She played teenage Roseanne to give you an idea) and did a couple topless roles and now she’s an angel.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

h

ttps://gfycat.com/WhiteWeakBluetonguelizard

ballsofsteelandfury

Those are delightful and I remember that guy from The Chris Isaak Show and that movie where Tim Allen played William Shatner. Galaxy Quest!

Game Time Decision

a single mom with a checkered past, works even better for the story\ mad lib

ballsofsteelandfury

Or porn.

ballsofsteelandfury

Pics or it didn’t happen!

ballsofsteelandfury

I retract my statement.

Thank you for that link below!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Well, this would be a happy ending for a couple by NFL standards.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“After further investigation, the NFL will drop any fines or suspensions in the alleged altercations with one ‘Tire Yard Teddy.’ However, regarding the incident with Mr. Mullins, the allegations are the second most heinous of crimes, ‘Assault of a man with money’ and we have no choice but to institute a lifetime ban on Mr. Cable.”