Your “I Hear Vinny Testaverde Ain’t Busy” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Well, let’s look at the Green Bay rumour mill:
    • Bruce Arians – not interested.
      • A disappointment to those in rural Wisconsin looking forward to possible Arian supremacy.
    • Josh McDaniels – flattered to be considered, but not interested.
    • Jim Harbaugh – PFT speculates he’s tired on working the college scene.
    • Joe Philbin – interested, but has to “prove himself”
      • Getting rid of competitors on staff is a good first start, like…
    • Associate coach Winston Moss – fired after posting an inflammatory tweet.
      • He was a “McCarthy guy”, so this was either venting or a way to get out of his contract.

  • The NFL on Tuesday placed umpire Roy Ellison on administrative leave while it investigates whether he called Bills DE Jerry Hughes a “bitch”.
    • Ellison, in his 16th year as an NFL official, was previously suspended one game without pay in 2013 for allegedly making a profane and derogatory statement to Washington Redskins offensive lineman Trent Williams.
      • He called him a “garbage-ass, disrespectful m—–f—–.”
    • Ellison worked last year’s Super Bowl, and is one of the full-time paid officials, so the league is in a bind because they can’t blame his behaviour on the stress of managing two jobs.
  • Some more details of the Rams-PSL settlement were disclosed today.
    • The licence sales were based on paying for a 30-year lease, but only receiving 21 years of St. Louis football by the Rams organization.
      • The settlement will reflect refunding the nine outstanding years, plus costs.
        • Said attorney Ryan Bruning, “The PSL holders paid for 30 years of NFL football in St. Louis, but got just 21 years. They should get their money back for the years of football they paid for but never received. Under this agreement, they will.”
  • Pour one out for the Donks – Emmanuel Sanders has torn his Achilles.
    • He ripped it during passing drills in practice.
  • They named the XFL cities today.  
    • Eight teams in total, to start, and where they’ll play:
      • New York/New Jersey: MetLife Stadium
      • Dallas: Globe Life Park in Arlington, Texas
      • Houston: TDECU Stadium in Houston
      • Los Angeles: StubHub Center in Carson, California
      • St. Louis: The Dome at America’s Center in St. Louis
      • Seattle: CenturyLink Field in Seattle
      • Tampa Bay: Raymond James Stadium in Tampa
      • Washington, D.C.: Audi Field in Washington, D.C.
    • The first XFL games will be played on February 8 and 9, 2020, one week after Super Bowl LIV.
  • Collusion talk is accelerating after Washington signed first-overall protected pick in the Alliance of American Football draft Josh Johnson.
    • Johnson, who did play in Tampa under Jay Gruden, hasn’t thrown an NFL in-game pass since 2011.
    • But they’re apparently fine signing a serial woman beater, which also isn’t a good look.
    • Counterpoint:


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Oilers at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Blackhawks at Ducks – 10:30PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Cavs – 7:00PM | TSN
    • 76ers at Raptors – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
    • Spurs at Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Hartford at Duke – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN.ca
    • VCU at Texas – 8:00PM | ESPNU
    • Temple at Villanova – 8:30PM | FS1
    • North Carolina (Wilmington) at *North Carolina – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • TCU at SMU – 10:00PM | ESPNU

I really hope Dan Snyder gets all this sorted out soon. It’s not that I particularly like him or his team, but I don’t need the Cowboys & their fans having hope. FUCK ‘EM ALL!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedLow Commander of the Super SoldiersWakezillaBrick MeathookWCS Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

DH Gate has let me down. Not only do they not supply Young Boys football kits, they also don’t carry FC Santa Claus kits. Any ideas?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re watching Killing Eve. It started out fun but has gotten so far removed from anything resembling reality that I can no longer suspend my disbelief.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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WCS

So, at the beginning of the film, it had the UK leaving the EU, and about halfway through, it has the United States electing Donald Trump as President? Life comes at you fast.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Is he mistakenly watching Venom? No, Venom didn’t start out fun.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man, fuck work travel. Flying across the country should exempt me from any substantive work for the rest of the month.

Fronkenshteen

GOP congress STILL not taking the first step towards removing Individual 1 from office. They are ALL Russian agents. We really ARE going to be using the gallows in DC!

WCS

Seems you’ve confused “DC” with “Ashgabat.” Nothing will ever change here, not without major problems for the rest of the world.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.”

Fronkenshteen

Hi!
Fuck David Njoku and David Moore with two stolen dicks.

WCS

Kids are finally asleep, and I finally got the chance to clean up.
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Now, it’s time to grade some students’ work.

Wakezilla

What subject?

Wakezilla

Dynamite Kid died today. I hope someone checks on Chris Benoit to see if he’s OK.

Wakezilla

/checks scores, sees what Westbrook did to the Nets

Well, based on how the week has gone, ISM is either going to be crying into a cold beer or about to go on an epic drunken rant in his Nets weekly writeup

Senor Weaselo

So Madre Weaselo and I went to the Harry Potter exhibit on loan from the British Museum at the New York Historical Society. Our favorite exhibit was a real-live invisibility cloak!

It’s just a hanger encased in polycarbonate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, that’s all for now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope nobody minds following along…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am listening to a podcast that played *just* the song Communist Daughter. I don’t believe that any of the songs on this album should ever be separated from each other.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Otherwise, this is a very good podcast. Actually, it’s a recorded show from Barnard College Radio (WBAR) from 3/10/2005. I only have three of these – I used to have a bunch more.

Fronkenshteen

Yup. NMH, The Clean, Radio Birdman, Clash, Mission of Burma, Ramones, MC5, Stooges, Rolling Stones. Best bands of all time. Rock and roll that is.

ETA: Minutemen!!!

Ian Scott McCormick

I don’t care who it pisses off, I hate Neutral Milk Hotel with the ferocity of a thousand angry suns.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am now amused by the idea of you getting into ferocious political arguments with your teenage daughter when she flirts with socialism, not because of your own politics, but simply because you cannot abide the thought of having your own Communist Daughter because you hate NMH so much.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If she downloads anything by them, she gets shipped off to a military school.

Ian Scott McCormick

Neutral Milk Hotel is the only thing that could get me to root for the Nazis.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I don’t want to say that I’m high, but my head just fell off.

Ian Scott McCormick

Really excited to take my daughter to see that bunny movie, Watership Down. We’re getting ready to watch the BBC version.

Horatio Cornblower

I remember reading that book and getting all stressed out about whether or not the rabbits were going to make it.

Now I can’t remember any of their names and my cats slaughter rabbits 24/7.

Ian Scott McCormick

Rabbits are worthless.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, this one?
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also this:
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And this. I have never forgotten the image of the rabbits crushed together.

Horatio Cornblower

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WCS

Close. This one:

WCS

Horatio Cornblower

I love the fact that The Waitress and Charlie are real-life married. Even more than Mac and Dee being a real life couple, that just kills me.

Horatio Cornblower

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Jodie Sweetin, as discussed in the ‘Finding Santa’ thread below. Meth seems to agree with her.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAM!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or, more appropriately, BAM BAM!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure she’s clean now.

Horatio Cornblower

She certainly got herself a new pair of lungs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Horatio Cornblower

A couple of days after my doctor yells at me about my cholesterol, (look, doc, we both know it’s not going to happen if left up to me, so just make with the statins, OK?), I come home and my wife’s charity group has left and there’s melted chocolate and whipped cream on the table, and I know there’s ice cream in the fridge*, and now I’m pretty sure she’s trying to kill me for the insurance.

*Yes, yes, I know, there’s melted chocolate and whipped cream and why aren’t you and the missus rolling around in it on the table, but you see, I also know that my son is home and sitting right next to the kitchen so the listen here, as always, is never have children.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well, most whipped cream is actually some kind of non-dairy gum-based high-fructose corn syrup based whipped topping and contains no fat or cholesterol whatsoever!

Horatio Cornblower

The two scoops of ice cream, however…

herodotus450
herodotus450

A lot of ice cream is in fact overinflated with calorie-free air in order to rip off the consumer and line the corporate coffers, so maybe not so bad!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mostly cellulose! You’re fine, dude, have some!

Horatio Cornblower

You seem to be under the impression that I haven’t already destroyed it. Let me assure you, I have, At this point I’m just looking to live long enough to find out how Game of Thrones ends, and not the books either, because no one’s immortal.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what often makes work hard? Co-workers.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Also watching porn at work.

litre_cola

Well typing one handed is difficult.

Redshirt

Today I had an argument at work that was analogous with putting square pegs in round holes. Everyone I talked to was okay with the round holes. I gave up trying to convince them because its not my job and I was trying to stop them from looking foolish when our clients or an auditor comes in and see all the square pegs in round holes. I guess that’s the only way they’ll learn.

Horatio Cornblower

Another tough day at the pegging factory.

Redshirt

That explains my job so much.

Redshirt

While this may be a surprise to some, my feelings of George H.W. Bush may differ slightly than everyone else here in clubhouse. I feel he tried his best, and was probably one of the best one-term Presidents of the United States. That being said, there is a reason why he was only a one-term President. The right man won in 1988, and he was it. The right man won in 1992, and he wasn’t it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Historians have him ranked right around the middle, and I’m inclined to agree. While I wasn’t a fan of much of what he did, he did a better job of facing reality than most men who filled that office.

Redshirt

Its like how I interpreted Obama: while I didn’t agree with his policies and politics, I had nothing but complete respect for the man.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

I think he was involved with some shady dealings with the Iran Contra stuff, but I also think it was much bigger than just him so it would be unfair to pin more than the pardons on him. Otherwise, I think he was a decent man who did hold the office with dignity and only sought the best for America. Then I couldn’t help but smile at the stories of him grabbing ass from a wheelchair, just like the grandpa that I dream of being.

Wakezilla

Joe Philbin is being considered for a job after Miami? Da fuq you doing, Green Bay?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The team that kept McCarthy around as long as they did making stupid decisions? Never.

Wakezilla

Had a fun day tutoring adults at the ole community college today. One guy was the Indian version of Cheech and higher than a satellite in space. Another guy was a crotchety old Giants fan who reminded me of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. It was fun shit talking him. Then I got to finish off with a stunning Persian woman. All the other students sucked, but those three made the day fun.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Stoned Indian—dot or feather?

ballsofsteelandfury

Place your bets!!
Odds:
Dot – 3 to 1
Feather – 5 to 1

/Hippo Door Flies Open

Wakezilla

Dot. Feathers should never be called Indians.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

They prefer “[*Redacteds]”

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Many bits in that movie have not aged well since I first saw it at age 12, but the bit with him catching the bullet in his teeth, chewing it up, and spitting it back out as machine gun fire will always be gold.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

*Vomits to death*

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Drew collected a bunch of personal anecdotes about Anthony Bourdain from his friends.

https://www.gq.com/story/anthony-bourdain-men-of-the-year-tribute

scotchnaut

Jodie Sweetin’s gravity-defying boobs are the star of “Finding Santa”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, is “santa” the new street name for meth?

WCS

I was about to type that they’re propped up by a kilo of coke each.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Man, that was some baaaaddd santa I had last night.”

ballsofsteelandfury

She has made a tremendous comeback and I look forward to her first topless scene.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Redshirt

They look fake. I’m not complaining, just making idle conversation.

ballsofsteelandfury

They are incredibly fake, but in a fun “what do you mean your eyes are up here?” kind of way.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Any team offering McDaniels anything other than to stomp his balls into paste deserves to be fucked by him.