So much not-that-bad-if-they-try action!

Virginia Tech (+5.5) v. JV Cincinnati, Military Industrial Complex Bowl (Annapolis, MD – Noon, ESPN)

I moneyline bet the Castrated Turkeys, as this is a de facto home contest, and they are fairly well-coached.  This will be at the half when this posts, so y’all may already be mocking this.

JV Pittsburgh (+4) v. Stanford, Sun God Ra Bowl (El Paso, TX – 2:00, CBS)

I guess we should also dedicate this to Beto O’Rourke?  Anyway, Pitt is utter shite (they gave U*NC their lone conference win), and Stanford tends to blow the fuck out lesser foes.  I bet this when Stanford was still -2.5, huzzah!

Michigan State (+1) v. Oregon, Karen Gillan’s Vagina Bowl (Santa Clara, CA – 3:00, Fox)

I knew as soon as I bet the Quackers that it was dumb to bet against Sparty.  But what’s done is done, and who knows, Oh-ray-GAWNE can still light up the scoreboard.  Enjoy this:

Oklahoma State (+9) v. Missouri, Weird Office Libertarian Bowl (Memphis, TN – 3:45, ESPN)

When I am this confused as to how high a line is, usually I stay away from it.  As with this.   Drew Lock is shite, but BDSM State is a frequent no-show side this season.

Northwestern (+7) v. Utah, Florida Gulf Coast University Bowl (San Diego, CA – 7:00, FS1)

Get it?  Could also insert a Spanoi joke here.  I love me some Team Secular Big Love, but that’s a lot of points to give against a side that typically keeps the score down.  But the Mildcats are the B1G version of Pitt, so…

NC State (+7.5) v. Texas A&M, Gator or Gator-Bait Bowl (Sacksonville, FL – 7:30, ESPN)

I also ML bet my Shitty Wolves, even though playing without budget-caliber Randy Moss, aka Kelvin Harmon.  Ryan Finley is still playing, with lots to prove.  Plus, Dave Doeren is soooooooo much better a coach than TAMU moneybags Jimbo Fisher.  Bet on coaches in JV exhibitions.  Here is my favourite version of my favourite wolven song: