I have confession to make

I may be a Secret Southerner.

I was thinking about this the other day as I was drinking Dr. Pepper, eating Mac and Cheese, and watching SEC football.

Honestly y’all, it scared me.

Holy shit, I just realized I say “Y’all” all the time!

I believe it all started way back when I was a little kid living in the north of México and traveling through Arizona a lot. Hell, it could have been instilled in me prior to that, but I think that’s when it really solidified.

Here are the reasons why I think I’m a Secret Southerner:

1 – I like my Dr. Pepper both cold AND hot!

Wait, you’re telling me you have never heard of Hot Dr. Pepper? I was introduced to it in Arizona by a waitress that, when I ordered Dr. Pepper, casually said, “Would you like that hot or cold?”

I tried it. Let me tell you, that was deefuckinglicious! I’ve heard it’s mostly a Texas thing, but Texas is technically part of The South (even though they are Texans first, Southerners second, and Americans a distant third).

2 – I use Southern sayings all the time.

I tell you what, I ain’t gonna lie, I honestly love to say Yes Ma’am and Yes Sir and Howdy and How Y’all Doing? and Did All Y’all go there?

It feels very comfortable to say these phrases. Specially when you add a little drawl to them.

3 – I am BIG on manners.

I open doors for people. I say Please and Thank You. I know the importance of a Thank You Note. I RSVP promptly whether or not I’m able to attend. If I say I’m going, I’m GOING. I believe in bringing something to someone’s house if you’re visiting.

4 – I absolutely adore Southern food.

Not just the “famous” Southern foods. I don’t think there’s a Southern food I dislike. I consider Mac n Cheese a vegetable. Give me Sweet Potato Pie AND Pumpkin Pie AND Pecan Pie. Love me some collared greens, biscuits and gravy, hash browns, Frito Pie, Little Debbie snacks, etc. And I haven’t even gotten started on barbecue…

5 – Blonde Southern Belles are my Kryptonite.

As Don T famously says, “Uf!” Seriously, this woman speaking in a Southern or Texas accent is the perfect gal for me:

I would commit seven different kinds of felonies for that girl. Speaking of,

6 – I like Country music.

I’ve mentioned this before. I first got into country music when I was very young. My favourites are the artists from the 70s and 80s.

7 – I think these guys are funny:

Here are a few more random ones:

• I believe the back of a pickup truck is a perfectly valid place to sit when you’re going for a ride.
• Bonus points if you sit on the wheel well.
• I think a beer koozie is one of the greatest inventions of mankind.
• I believe fire is both an appropriate way of disposing of stuff and a source of warmth.
• I like warm plaid shirts.
• I believe jeans should have buttons and should never be washed.
• I believe cowboy boots can be work wear, casual wear, and formal wear. Just not the same pair.
• I think anything can be made edible if you cook it for the right amount of time and put the right sauce on it.

I think I might be ready for this!

I think I have what it takes. What d’y’all think?

Well , Bless Your Heart!