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Your AAFL League Opener & Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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I interrupt my projected Saturday evening musical & comedy interlude to give you this exciting news:

The Alliance of American Football starts tonight!

I know I know.

However, it is live football in February and, since the first week is actually on broadcast television, I figured we should give it a try.

Here’s their weekly schedule, if you are so inclined to watch or visit. Their app promises to have weekly fantasy options, to try & attract a loyal following. HAIL GAMBLOR!

Tonight’s sports:

  • AAFL:
    • San Diego Fleet at San Antonio (Low) Commanders – 8:30PM | CBS
  • NHL: Hockey Day in Canada
    • Leafs at Habs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Sharks at Oilers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Flames at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Knicks – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Thunder at Rockets – 8:30PM | ABC
  • NCAA:
    • Duke at Virginia – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Kansas State at Baylor – ESPN2
    • DePaul at Xavier – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Tulane at Wichita State – 8:00PM | ESPNU
    • Texas at West By-God Virginia – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • Washington at Arizona State – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • St. Mary’s (Cal.) at Gonzaga – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Colorado at Southern California – 10:00PM | ESPNU
  • UFC 234
    • Prelims: Whittaker vs. Gastelum – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  •  Crashed Ice: From Fenway Park
    • Ski-cross on skates – 10:00PM | FS1

If you get the chance, Crashed Ice is bonkers & fun to watch, but the intervals between races are filled with the kind of “American Ninja Warrior” and “Chopped” ‘inspirational’ interviews that involve slow-motion & deep looks into eyes. JUST SHOW ME THE INJURIES!

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Redshirt

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those guys are as bad as the NVA in Platoon.

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Fronkenshteen

ITS NOT OUR FAULT WILLEM DAFOES SQUIBS DIDNT EXPLODE GODDAMMIT

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Fronkenshteen

Anyone ever seen ANYTHING on Cap Hill like the Whittaker hearing? Fuuuuuck. Whatever that prick from Georgia, Collins, is getting paid, they should double it. Talk about setting the tone! The next six years are going to be MADDENING.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rut Ruh. Gonna be a rough night.

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Redshirt

Hackenberg is still playing?!

Hackenberg?!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’ll be fine in this league.

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Fronkenshteen

Orlando did that Philly Philly play?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Was it Magic?

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Fronkenshteen

Are you still hating this? I’m not minding it at all. It gives a pro football pleasure, even though the players are a step slower than NFL. I’ll pick a team & buy a t-shirt in support. Probbo SD Fleet because Mike Martz now looks like the kind of guy I’d like to sit down and eat fifteen egg sandwiches with.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not hating at all. Just got bored with it and went elsewhere. Like I said; if it is entertaining, more power to it. You no like word association pun?

Agreed; Martz always looked hungry and that he would like egg and or chicken salad sammmiches.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

His gut made two spectacular appearances earlier. That gray pullover is his only layer up top.
/ was trying to connect pun to Disney. Am a dope.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How is his belt doing? It could be the only hope.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn it; now I see it.

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Fronkenshteen

I WANT TO WATCH THE MARCHING BAND

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Redshirt

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder if they went to band camp.

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Redshirt

https://www.marvel.com/captainmarvel

Captain Marvel’s website is definitely from the 90s.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s pretty cool. Now I feel really old.

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Fronkenshteen

Did I see a female referee? Hell yeah!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOLDING!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Hat tip to the headline writers at the new York post. “Bezos Exposes Pecker” is this generation’s “Headless Body Found In Topless Bar”.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I like that there aren’t three fucking commercial breaks between one team scoring and the other team’s offense taking the field

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Redshirt

3rd and 16? QB sneak?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They didn’t expect the light brigade to charge either. SURPRISE!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Bercovici? No one expects the Italian Inquisition!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I didn’t see that coming!”

-The Spanish

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Viva La Tabula Raza

My DirecTV feed seems to be having some audio fuckups.

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Redshirt

If its AAF, its not just you. I’m on broadcast antenna and I’m getting the same thing.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah. They didn’t black it out here in San Antonio even though it isn’t a sellout.
Seems to happen mostly when they switch to what the guys on the field are saying.

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Redshirt

It finally happened. They have illegalized defense.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

So far there has been as much scoring in the first half of this game as there was in the first half of the Superb Owl last week.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

But it’s only taken 1 hour of real time!

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

And no funny ads either. What a letdown.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a LOT of fake porn with Taylor Swift’s face. Interesting America; keep up the weird work.

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Redshirt

I can see it. She has a sweet, innocent, country face.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just like a lot of porn actresses…… except for the MILF genre.

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Redshirt

Was that like the only 3rd commercial break or something?

1
The Maestro

A 69-yard pickerception? Nice.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That was kinda cool.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

No Doink or Shanklor in the building so far.

1
Redshirt

Even BLEERGH hasn’t shown up, but he may be in hibernation from a busy NFL season.

1
Redshirt

This is what you need to know about Logan Woodside. He couldn’t beat out Andy Dalton and Jeff Driskel. And we saw how they played this year.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s fine for this league and he has a job; it’s all good.

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Redshirt

This is how much faith CBS has in the AAF: They aren’t showing the scores on the CBS Sports website.

EDIT: They are showing a link, but its not on the top of the page like the other leagues.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

ESPN had an article about it, but are also ignoring scores etc.

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ballsofsteelandfury

506 sports map for tonight’s AAFL games:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dy49cHeW0AAOX15?format=jpg&name=900×900

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is talent-less football. It’s like watching your neighbors play, only slightly more organized. Reminds me of the Denver Gold days, only the players are not as good.

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Redshirt

I’m seeing flashes here and there, but its still 0-0 for a quarter.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s like saying college football or high school football or Canadian football is talentless. It’s football and it’s being presented in a much better way than the NFL presents it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like I said if you like and don’t find the difference go for it. I can’t condemn anyone for enjoying something, or call them stupid for liking/ enjoying it, like some do.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I didn’t say I didn’t see the difference. I said I prefer the way this game is presented better than the way the NFL is presented.

The NFL has better players but I hate watching it for the way it’s presented.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, you say that a lot.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Because it’s true.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For you; it’s an opinion.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I said I prefer the way this game is presented better than the way the NFL is presented.

The NFL has better players but I hate watching it for the way it’s presented.

Uh, no shit.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You said true; implying it was a fact; no shit. As you have before.

But I’m glad it was misinterpreted on my part.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone’s opinions are true.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Guys, this first quarter has taken only 30 minutes of real time. That equates to a 2 hour game.

I may have found my new favourite football league.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If it floats your boat go for it; they need the audience.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously, the game is zipping by. I’d rather watch football than commercials with football sprinkled in.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is not a big money thing like other (big 4) sports, which in your case seems to make it attractive. It is why I DVR record or delay games so I can watch without.

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Redshirt

Sky Judge stopped the refs from making a mistake? I’m sold.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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ballsofsteelandfury

I disagree on the loss of control. THOSE THIGHS ARE LIKE ONATOPP!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of all the ways to go…….

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Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Whose the Replay Official? Why isn’t it the Commissioner deciding who wins?

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ballsofsteelandfury

For being able to see and hear the replay official, this league is already better!

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The Maestro

Evening, folks. We’re five days into the new semester and I’m already into marking hell. At least we’ve got SATURDAY NITE FOOBAW to keep things ever so slightly more sane!

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ballsofsteelandfury

So far I haven’t seen any flagrant fuckups. Maybe this league will be better than the NFL?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Seriously, could it be any worse?

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WCS

It will when Donald Trump buys a team and tries to strong-arm the NFL.

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Redshirt

He got his $3 didn’t he?! Plus interest!

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Redshirt

I liked that hit to the QB where his helmet got knocked out. The game kept going. The QB stayed in the game. The defender didn’t get executed at midfield.

Its like NFL before the Dark Times.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Right? It was really nice.

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Redshirt

Its jarring to see Color Jerseys on Color Jerseys. I wouldn’t mind seeing that in NFL, Alternate Jerseys as the Away Jerseys.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Martz hasn’t missed any meals.

1
Brick Meathook

Are they playing this game in a rodeo arena?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Rodeo is up the road at the AT&T Center. This is the Alamodome, which was hated/shunned by Tim Duncan and SA built the AT&T Center for him after he delivered us our first NBA Championship..

1
Fronkenshteen

I actually played someone in this game in a fantasy football league championship game. Farrow. Ran for the bolts.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Mike Martz: “A long-time San Diego native”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I’ll give AAF credit. The production has been pretty good. Too bad there was a tractor pull in both towns that took their crowds away.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, tonight is the opening night of the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo, which will definitely affect attendance at this game. The Rodeo is being held about 4 miles up Houston Street from this game at the home of the Spurs. Monster truck shows are usually held at the Alamodome; maybe they moved it up to Austin or down to Corpus.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hahaha. Reading down further in the thread it looks like I found the nights theme. Or I need help and a break from y’all
/loves yas

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Sky Judge: Corrects Obvious and Egregious Errors

New Orleans:
(maybe too gross for some)
h ttps://media.giphy.com/media/oaPcDncoLfgjK/giphy.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like half the Air Force is marching by behind Kurt and the dame.

1
Brick Meathook

Ha ha my ball-waxer is on Sunset one block from The Guitar Center and one block from Samuel French bookstore. This is the fancy ball-waxing district. No assholes were bleached at this juncture.

Since I was in the neighborhood I stopped at Canter’s Deli and had a bowl of matzo-waxed-ball soup and looked for ancient rock stars. I saw an old man who might have been Axl Rose, not sure.

Then I went to Samy’s Camera on Fairfax and told them all to fuck off because they are miserable pricks who should just kill themselves already.

Then I went home. Great success!

Drink!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Is it a coed facility?

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s been over 40 years since I moved from Southern California to South Texas. Seems like a lot has changed in the interim.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do they use recycled wax?

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WCS

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herodotus450

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herodotus450

[Ball hair gets ripped off]
Wait a second, I needed a ball of wax.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some of those places are really cheap.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“There is no new thing under the sun.” —-Ecclesiastes
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I need to try that…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Waxing a-holes?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That has a few meanings.

1
Redshirt

Who decided the geographic cities of the AAF? Did the SEC finally secede from the NCAA and formed its own football league?

1
Brick Meathook

It was supposed to rain all day in Los Angeles (I thought) but it turned out to be sunny.

Soooooo . . . . .

I decided to motor in to West Hollywood and get my balls waxed.

I bet you haven’t heard that sentence anywhere else today.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are right, not waxed.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Did you get you butt crack lasered?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Any butthole bleaching?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did they get all the wax?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You went to the trouble; now it’s time to show it off.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unless it really irritated the skin.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Did you have to tweeze to get the rogues? The rebels, the outlanders, the anarchists?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

How does that conversation go? “Tell me where you think I should leave hair”?

1
Brick Meathook

“Men’s Mini Brazilian”

There is no conversation. It’s a set thing.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“NUMBER 4! HOLD THE RELISH!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it one of the fancy places that has different wax scents?

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Brick Meathook

Probably!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shoulda gone for the full body wax while you were there.

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