Your AAFL League Opener & Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

I interrupt my projected Saturday evening musical & comedy interlude to give you this exciting news:

The Alliance of American Football starts tonight!

I know I know.

However, it is live football in February and, since the first week is actually on broadcast television, I figured we should give it a try.

Here’s their weekly schedule, if you are so inclined to watch or visit. Their app promises to have weekly fantasy options, to try & attract a loyal following. HAIL GAMBLOR!


Tonight’s sports:

  • AAFL:
    • San Diego Fleet at San Antonio (Low) Commanders – 8:30PM | CBS
  • NHL: Hockey Day in Canada
    • Leafs at Habs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Sharks at Oilers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Flames at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Knicks – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Thunder at Rockets – 8:30PM | ABC
  • NCAA:
    • Duke at Virginia – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Kansas State at Baylor – ESPN2
    • DePaul at Xavier – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Tulane at Wichita State – 8:00PM | ESPNU
    • Texas at West By-God Virginia – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • Washington at Arizona State – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • St. Mary’s (Cal.) at Gonzaga – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Colorado at Southern California – 10:00PM | ESPNU
  • UFC 234
    • Prelims: Whittaker vs. Gastelum – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  •  Crashed Ice: From Fenway Park
    • Ski-cross on skates – 10:00PM | FS1

If you get the chance, Crashed Ice is bonkers & fun to watch, but the intervals between races are filled with the kind of “American Ninja Warrior” and “Chopped” ‘inspirational’ interviews that involve slow-motion & deep looks into eyes. JUST SHOW ME THE INJURIES!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ALXMACUnsurprisedMoose -The End Is Well NighCol. Duke LaCrossnomonkeyfun Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I feel like I missed out on National Pizza Day.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The current Business Wars podcast series is on the USFL vs. NFL. https://wondery.com/shows/business-wars/

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck. It’s already the 9th.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I think that old Good Housekeeping lady is a lesbian pervert; she “inspecting” alright.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

After going to the trouble and paying for a waxing does Brick now have or will he get a nice pair of chaps to shoe the berries off?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Whether slick balled or not; kilts are comfy with the air dry affect; you can be more discrete with that wear.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m hung like horse and built like that guy in the video, but no, I don’t show it off unless the role calls for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Would have also accepted.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

As someone who tried to watch the USFL and WLAF…ain’t fooling me three times.

Unless it’s played at a really high level, one has a personal connection to someone involved, or one is gambling on it – just meh.

I will continue instead to be annoyed that the NFL falls short of its potential, thanks to its owner-slave commissioner model. Dickwads.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We used to go to the Denver Gold games and mainly drink, but still; someone with a family could take them to the games and have fun at a very reasonable price. I enjoyed this season just as much as a few in the the past five years or so. I just don’t have the pissed off as other do I guess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

or one is gambling on it – just meh.

So you’ll be watching all the games then?

yeah right

Just returned from an incredible evening at dojo el casa Low Commander.

I don’t give faint praise because life is too short but GODDAMN that was some good food and amazing company and wonderful people.

Everyone needs to do that more often.

Happy birthday good sir!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Happy birthday to LCSS! He has good taste in beer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Col. Duke LaCross

PG Porn might’ve been the apex of James Gunn’s career!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

THIS IS AWESOME!

And she sounds cute.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

https://www.mylittlewaxbar.com/home

Ask for Lacey (co-owner)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

IT’S GOOD GROOMING FOLKS

Fronkenshteen

Itchy growing back in though, yes?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

No not at all

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That video is the first time I did it back in July. Today was my third time.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, you do it every 3 months? How long does the effect last?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

They say every 4 to 6 weeks, but I got busy. After 8 weeks I was ready for another. That’s how they get you hooked.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s not too bad. I may make an appointment.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Do it!

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, you can get a discount next time for referring me! I’ll check in with you when I make my appointment.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m tempted but scared.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

They have a 15% off deal. Ask for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought they were supposed to take all the hair off, at least like 93%.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Actually after 8 weeks you start to notice that you’re getting pulled by your dick hairs every time you sit down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t think you were married.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Scratchy won that fight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Lacey looks way too cute. Didya worry about getting a boner?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That is definitely not a problem during this procedure

ballsofsteelandfury

I figure the fear would kick in and then the pain would finish the job.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s really not painful. It’s more shocking than painful, because it is completely outside the wheelhouse of anything I ever experienced before. All I could do was laugh. I recommend it though, as well as pedicures.

GOOD MAINTENANCE!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s good to know. I do enjoy the pedicures.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That explains the foot thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I guess lesbian lingerie spanking is out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I used to see gifs of that on Tumblr.

RIP Tumblr. It’s not that they got rid of all the porn that sucks, it’s that they just made so much of it damn near impossible to actually view.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I enjoyed this game even better with my freshly waxed balls.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Can you refer a brother?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, will there be threads for the Sunday AAF games?

ballsofsteelandfury

Sure, why not?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just watch and comment on the open thread; peeps know what you talkin’ ’bout Raza.

Gratliff

hand ded with 0 seconds to play

Gratliff

Knee ded with 20 seconds to play

ballsofsteelandfury

I really like this league’s clock rules. They’ve really sped up the game.

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This reminds me of that scene in Magic Mike when Big Dick Ritchie gets a hernia lifting a fat chick at the club.

Gratliff

No AAF teams in the north? A single tear rolls down Vince McMahon’s cheek at the thought of being able to break a territory for the first time in 25 years

Col. Duke LaCross

Not a great chance for snow footbaw, even in February. We got a foot here in Salt Lake last Wednesday, but I don’t think they have a home game until March.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

BIG PICK

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems like there’s a lot more folks in the stands in the Alamodome tonight than I saw in the stands at a lot of the early college bowl games this past December, so I guess that’s encouraging.

Gratliff

Or the LA Coliseum for the first 12 weeks of the season

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Martz’s NFL game has translated perfectly to the new league

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So has his love of sandwiches.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like he’s going to be the Andy Reid of the AAF, fat-joke wise.

Fronkenshteen

He looks like Bobby Bacala. His naked gut came flying out twice in the first quarter. His tits look like fried eggs that are trying to hide in his armpits.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Needs a choo-choo engineer hat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; I likes me some sammichez too.

litre_cola

Teeeeveee cut out in richville, is it any good?

Fronkenshteen

Yes

/is booed unmercifully

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

/not by me. I can handle this.

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too.

The Maestro

I never knew Mike Martz was a San Diego native. I look at the way he’s built and just assumed he was trying to bulk up to survive a long, long winter hibernation somewhere in the Dakotas.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Mike Martz is a “long time San Diego native” according to CBS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He loved San Diego long time.

Gratliff

Bears would have won a playoff game with that kind of leg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/shudders

Gratliff

What hell is this?

It was later announced that TNT’s broadcast team consists of Brian Anderson on play-by-play, Marvin Lewis on color commentary, and Maurice Jones-Drew as sideline reporter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MJD could be heard but not seen.

Gratliff

“Stand in front of the camera, Maurice.”
“I am!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like to imagine him speaking in the tiny voice.

Gratliff

Those are the worst referee uniforms I’ve ever seen. Holy shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You shouldn’t hate on other peoples’ fetishes.

Gratliff

Please tell me Tommy Maddox is coaching one of these teams

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Tommy Maddox is coaching one of these teams.”

Gratliff

Just tuning in. Have I missed any unintentional comedy?

Fronkenshteen

It’s not godawful

Gratliff

Just in time for hilarious audio system failure

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“What?”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

No, that’s been going on all evening.

Fronkenshteen

I’m not looking for the NFL here. Wouldn’t be fair. These guys are working hard, and for a first game ever, this shit looks pretty good to me. Go AAF.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One could probably afford to go to the games.

Fronkenshteen

Never understood why football never began a minor league system like in baseball. People would pay to watch.

Gratliff

Because we have slaves student athletes for that

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I enjoyed more than 3/5ths of that comment.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Why is San Antonio “The Commanders?” What does that have to do with San Antonio?

Is it The Alamo? I thought those guys lost and got slaughtered.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s what I thought too. Commander is a Navy rank. It’s all Air Force or Army here in SA, so they should be called Colonels or Generals or Sergeants.
Or “Troops.” Who could not support a team with that name?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Isn’t there a lot of demanding wives in San Antonio?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Lot of fat wives, I guess they demand a lot of food. I’ve stayed mercifully single all these years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you no like bossy wives joke?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Me, tonight.comment image

Fronkenshteen

Should’ve went with “Banderases”.

Fronkenshteen

I predict MANY recently retired NFL guys are gonna want to play in this league

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

SA Commanders fire off guns when SA scores TD. This is San Antonio, they should just stab each other.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Who got shot?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Somebody in the stands? JR Ewing? Looks like they have some version of the Patriots musketeers there beyond the end zone. If they’re cosplaying the Mexican Army at the Alamo, they should be carrying sticks and pine cones instead of firearms. Little known fact, that’s all they were armed with when they defeated Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, and the rest of the intrepid defenders of the Alamo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, I thought with the crime rate in the downtown area……

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Knifings are equally popular here, but mostly south and west of downtown…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My jokes are failing out of the sky faster than Japanese plains in the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

It could very well be me and the weed missing obvious things.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, that’s not it. Things are a lot funnier in my head.

Fronkenshteen

Or, just pack a civil war cannon with grapeshot made up of glass, nails, cement, beef ribs, and korans and fire it through the torso of a Nancy Pelosi cutout.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah, that would be in San Diego. San Antonio is a blue city.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

wrong place comment.

Redshirt

Holy crap. A non-field goal thingy!

Fronkenshteen

THIS IS FOOTBALL. GAMBLING LINES NEXT WEEK AND THATS AN ORDER

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait, wut? There wasn’t any gamboling mechanism? That’s not right.

Fronkenshteen

There may have been. I just didn’t see lines on Scoresandodds.com or FanDuel.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Those aren’t whispers, sweetheart. That’s the sound of erections inflating in crisp woolen trousers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Right; they don’t have the big garments. Which ones have the hair shirts again?

Fronkenshteen

Greek Orthodox?

/ kidding!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice!