INT. PATRIOTS TRAINING FACILITY – 9 A.M. – SATURDAY

Patriots Director of Player Personnel NICK CASERIO is hard at work in a conference room.  He glances up as the regular crowd of players shuffles into the training facility to begin their entirely “voluntary” offseason workouts.  There is an old man – BILL BELICHICK – standing next to him, peering grumpily at the gigantic monitor on the far side of the room that is displaying footage of one of their draft prospects.

BELICHICK: grumble grumble son run that last play again grumble grumble I’m not really sure what happened there grumble grumble but it looked like a set of verticals the Steelers used to run a lot grumble grumble back when I was coaching in Cleveland grumble grumble

CASERIO: [humming to himself as he cues up the projector]: La la la, di da da…La la, di da da da dum…

BELICHICK: grumble grumble now Graham at USC is a friend of mine grumble grumble he got my girlfriends’ kids into college for free grumble grumble

CASERIO: Oh, I know him, the offensive coordinator.  His quarterbacks are quick with their release and for years his linemen have gotten away smearing their jerseys with grease – I hear that he’s tired of working at the college level.

— [door flies open] —

GREG SCHIANO: Bill, I believe this is killing me.

CASERIO: What, the MRSA that’s eating your face?

SCHIANO: [glares at him] Coaching.  I don’t mind making the players bust their asses until they are facing a visit from Uncle Rhrabdo, but I didn’t think it was going to apply to us coaches too.  My wife has been whining nonstop about how I’m not spending enough time with my pissant kids.  I got a call from a radio station – KDFO, in Los Angeles – and they’re giving me a chance to host a show called “Request Line”.

CASERIO: You’re gonna give up coaching for the world champion New England Patriots just to work the phones at some radio gig?

SCHIANO: Los Angeles is one of the biggest media markets in the world, if not the biggest.

CASERIO: Yeah, for movies and television.  And baseball, and basketball, when the Lakers don’t suck ass.  That city doesn’t give two shits about football, and never will.

SCHIANO: Whatever.  It’s a foot in the door.  Tony Romo’s gonna get ten million a year just for calling out formations.  I’m sure that I can be a radio star.

CASERIO: So you’re leaving?

SCHIANO: [nods] I’m gettin’ out of this place.  Thanks for the opportunity, Bill.  I’ll see you at Super Bowl LVI.

GREG SCHIANO leaves.

BELICHICK: [has not looked away from the screen the entire time] grumble grumble okay that’s enough drama for today I’ll just coordinate the defense myself grumble grumble let’s get back to the tape grumble grumble

—

Today’s topic is PIANO MEN! Pick songs where a piano is featured prominently.  To keep anyone from getting carried away, let’s put a cap of ten songs per commenter.  I’ll get us started with the song implied by the post title, which is still a classic and will always remain so.