The powers that be (me, apparently) have asked that someone, anyone, throw some crap against the content wall so that folks that hate Kentucky (me, again) can have a place to vent their anger. Here. We. Go.

#5 Auburn/#2 Kentucky:

The Tigers got this far because no one bothered to tell them that they’re a football school. So that means that they be swimming in unknown waters. Will their “Run, Gun, Fun In The Sun, Son” offense be enough to overcome the Wildcats’ “I’m Just Here For A Cuppa Joe And A Big Fat Cheque From An Otherwise Racist Car Dealership Owner” squadoo? Time will tell. I can’t help but think that Bruce Pearl will muck this up if it’s close towards the end. Why? He’s Bruce Pearl.

#2 Michigan State/#1 Duke:

The mayor of Lansing, Michigan, Mr. Tom Izzo is 1-11 vs. Duke. To make matters worse, local reporter assigned to the game, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, spotted an albatross this morning. I’ve read a few different articles about how to “Beat Duke!” recently. Suffice to say, running over Zion in the parking lot has only a 50% chance of being successful because he’s a very strong individual, you see.

Of course there are lesser sports on like-

Baseball-BORING!

Hockey-NOT AS BORING!

Pro Basketball-SLIGHTLY LESS BORING THAN BASEBALL!

NASCAR-(aside from the crashes) BORING!

Tennis-BOR… Actually, Federerdereder is kinda interesting to watch

NCAA Women’s Ball-Mississippi State allows *girls* to play basketball? Wow! That state really has it goin’ on these days!

Street Hockey-The Balsam Street Brawlers vs. the North Avenue Norsemen almost always results in at least one kid crying for his mom like the little bitch he is. Just pray that he doesn’t take his goalie net home with him-otherwise it’s Game Over.

Type your stupid hearts out gentlemen…